7 Ways to Edify Your Husband



I remember the 9th grade. It was 1979, in the land before email. I was sitting in front of an old wooden desk in the upstairs bedroom of our one-and-a-half story house. Under the window was a waist-high book shelf that housed an enormous collection of teen magazines. They contained everything from Bo Derek’s braids to the Bee Gees. One thing they didn’t contain however was the precious letter I held in my hand.

It was from my sister. An older sister who was lending advice and encouragement.

Remember one thing, she wrote, encouragement is like a cottonwood tree. When the weather is warm, the tree releases it’s seeds that float in the air like little white clouds. They’re gentle yet powerful seeds. 

Over the years I’ve come to realize the truth of those words. Gentle encouragement is a powerful force.

It’s the cheer at the end of a race that gives a runner that final push to the finish.

It’s the nurturing of a parent that instills confidence in their child’s life.

It’s the words of a spouse who inspires you to grow in God’s grace.

In Ephesians 4:29 we read, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

To edify someone is to uplift them. The word originally meant, “to construct a building.”
To encourage someone is to “instil courage” in them.

Studies show that women speak an average of 20,000 words/day.1

The question is, are we using those words wisely? Are we using them to edify and encourage each other or are we tearing each other down?

I pray that we are, but if not let’s get down on our knees and ask God to start leading our hearts and controlling our tongues.

In closing, let’s look at 7 ways to edify our husbands:

  1. By praying fervently. Pray that God would teach you to speak wisely and kind. Pray that God would shape your husband and give him the courage to be who he is called to be.
  2. By reflecting the humility of Christ. Put pride aside for the good of your marriage and esteem him higher than yourself.
  3. By allowing him to lead your family. Help when you need to–some husbands need and want a lot of help–but also be willing to step aside when you should and allow him to lead.
  4. By allowing him to be less than perfect. Keep in mind that he’s walking and growing in grace.
  5. By celebrating his accomplishments and by acknowledging them.
  6. By seeing him for who he is, not who you expect him to be. And if he does need to change then pray for him daily.
  7. By acknowledging his inner strength. Take note of his courage, his kindness, his sincerity, etc. and let him know that you admire these things about him.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

1Catherine Griffin, Science World Report 2/20/2013


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Written by Darlene Schacht

I'm an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of my life. My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, we have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone's babies, especially mine! Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Facebook: timewarpwife Twitter: timewarpwife Pinterest: timewarpwife


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    Jennifer Davis says:

    God bless you always and thank you for letting God use you to whisper to my heart to continue His work in me with my husband and marriage.

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    Gaylene says:

    I rarely comment on the handful of blogs I read but I LOVED this one! Thank you Darlene for posting this. We live in a world where men are more often torn down then edified! My husband and I are coming up on our 15 year anniversary and I’m so grateful to you and Courtney (Women Living Well) for helping to point me in a Godly direction. Blessings to you!

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    Lori says:

    I love this!! Gentle reminders we all need to make our marriages stronger and better! Thank you for writing these and the daily prayers for marriage on Facebook. I will keep these in my phone to read daily!
    Thank you again for sharing everything!! “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”
    Mother Teresa

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    Christina says:

    Just down loaded one of your books and looking forward to reading and learning from it.

    It wonderful to finally find Christian women out there that want to learn and achieve being the wives that God meant us to be.

    Never really paid attention to blogs but since your book spoke of yours I figure it might be a good tool to keep on hand.

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    Kelley Bernard-Garrett says:

    So a good reminder of things I can do instead of pointing mybfinger. I strive to be a virtuous wife and I need to practice this. Thank you for thsee words of encouragement for both of us. I feel if I encourage my husband. Good things will come. He needs change and so do I …by lifting him up instead of tearing him down . Thank you ♡

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    Dona says:

    Thank u for letting God use you to write these words, so simple but yet so powerful, God bless you and all that you do, and your family.

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