Every time I write about marriage, it always seems that I’m coming back to the topic of pride. Every time I have a disagreement with Michael, I’m holding on to my pride. And every time I choose to love well, I have to let go of that pride.
What is this monster, and why does it have such a hold on my heart?
We live in a society where humility is looked down upon. It’s misunderstood and deemed to be weak. People want to be seen, they want to be heard, they want to be known.
The focus on self is greater by far than a focus on others. Headlines and how-to articles are laden with topics like self-esteem, self-worth, self-importance, self-acceptance, self-awareness, self-confidence, self-help, self-made, self-improvement, self-respect, self-sufficient, and the list goes on… Little focus is given to caring for others.
We’re more concerned about transforming our bodies than we are about transforming our hearts. We’re more concerned about loving the skin we’re in than confessing the sin we’re in. We’re more concerned about aging well than living well. And we’re more concerned about self-discovery than we are about discovering the truth in God’s Word.
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? – Romans 7:24
It’s no wonder the Bible doesn’t make sense to most people–it’s the opposite of everything we’ve come to understand in this life.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. – Philippians 2:3
Who could understand a God who humbles Himself, and calls us to do the same? Who could understand a love that’s undeserved and freely given?
Scripture after scripture is a reminder to walk in humility, to esteem others higher than ourselves, and to cultivate the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
Christ-Cantered love strengthens the bond between a husband and wife, but when pride gains a foothold, it divides people and weakens a marriage.
Let’s look at 7 ways to keep pride from destroying your marriage:
- Stay Christ-centered. Meditate on the Word. Practice the virtues of patience, and kindness, and love.
- Let go of your need to be right. Winning the heart of your husband is far more important than winning an argument. Let go of your need to have the last word.
- Eliminate a critical spirit. It can become a bad habit, which is why we need to keep this in check. Strive to be encouraging and look for the best in each other.
- Stop keeping score. Don’t focus on keeping score in your marriage. Be willing to give more than you get.
- Admit when you’re wrong. Don’t hold back on apologies, be willing to admit when you’re wrong.
- Hold out an olive branch. When you have disagreements, step out and do or say something that leads to reconciliation. This can quickly turn a bad day into a good one.
- Be willing to grow. Listen and learn. Husbands and wives have a lot to learn from each other. We benefit from change if we’re willing to learn.
You are loved by an almighty God,
The Time-Warp Wife
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