You might remember that last October we had a marriage challenge called, “Revive Your Marriage.” If you don’t remember, you can find all of the posts here. One of the weeks we talked about reviving your attitude, and I said, “The tagline of my ministry is “Empowering Wives to Joyfully Serve.” And the reason I chose that focus is because I firmly believe that in many cases our attitude can set the tempo in our home.”
But today I don’t really want to talk about what I said. What I do want to share with you is a post that one of our readers wrote called, “What if you didn’t have ‘one more time’?
Nicole asks, “If one day he didn’t come home, would I have to live with regrets of how or what I did (or didn’t do) for him?”
Just three months later she writes,”I’m not even sure that I have the words to say… On Thursday, December 13th, I received a phone call that forever altered my life. I got a call from my husband’s business partner saying that a tree had fallen on him while he was working. I hurried down to the job only to find that he was already with Jesus.”
A sobering thought, isn’t it? It could have been me, it could have been you, it could have been any one of us. Life is too short to take our loved ones for granted and Nicole realized that before he was gone.
I asked Nicole if I could share her post with you–the one that she wrote just three months before her husband Chad went to be with the Lord.
Nicole from “I’m Staying Home With My Mom.”
This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I could have easily lost my hubby to a work accident a little over a year into our marriage. While that opened my eyes to how short life can be, I still fell back into a pattern of selfishness after he healed. We had some very hard years following that time. It always fell back to finances, which were frequently non-existent. We were aware that our fights almost always fell back to a money issue, but I think I also liked to fight because I had this insatiable desire to be right (and be in control).
My need to be in control (of everything) was causing me to base my treatment of my hubby on works (what he did for me or how he treated me). I’m not even sure when it hit me, but one day I had a realization.
If one day he didn’t come home, would I have to live with regrets of how or what I did (or didn’t do) for him?
For example:
- Would getting up to pack his lunch be a big deal?
- Would I long to rub his back….just one more time? (He has back issues due to the accident and I too often gripe about this never ending task)
- Would I find the energy to ‘have fun in the bedroom’….just one more time?
- Would I drop what I was doing to help him with whatever….just one more time?
I have to be careful because these thoughts can cause me to fall into a state of constant worry that something will, indeed, happen to him….but keeping this perspective has taken so much of the laziness or irritation that sometimes pops up at bay.
I cringe when I hear women griping about having to do this or that for their hubby. I just think, “What if he wasn’t here. What would you give to be able to do that for him one more time?”
I used to get so mad when my hubby didn’t act how I wanted him to or do what I wanted him to, but when you are just thankful for one more day with him, it makes the little things seem so unimportant.
Yes, I still occasionally whine about rubbing his back. I still grumble to myself when I pick his dirty clothes up off the floor or put his dog collar chargers away (for the millionth time)….but in my mind I constantly hear “be thankful for this stuff to do because it means he’s still here with you”.
Perspective is everything!
There will always be things that bug you about your spouse, but in their absence…would those things actually be that bad?
This is Nicole with her dear husband and high school sweet heart Chad. Please keep Nicole and her children in your prayers. And while you do, perhaps you’d like to visit her blog to leave her a note of encouragement? Be gentle with her heart and love on her as Jesus would have us to do.
Here’s a link to her blog: I’m Staying Home With My Mom
Thank you for your encouragement, Nicole. You have taught us all a lesson in love that we won’t soon forget.
You are loved by an almighty God,
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