Some days I hear great things about marriage. I hear about couples in love, I read about men who cherish their wives, and I see women respecting their husbands. And then there are days–too many to count–when the media spreads a cloak of darkness over the subject. Husbands are mocked, wives are ridiculed, and marriage is slammed. It makes you wonder what young people are thinking when they hear things like, “Marriage: You better start drinking now. It only gets worse from here.”
That’s bleak. When you consider that marriage is a union ordained by God, then you know that it’s got to be better than that. And it is. And after 25 years, I’m here to confirm that it’s good and to debunk the myths that surround us.
Myth: Marriage Makes People Miserable.
Fact: Whether you’re married or not, insensitive people make us feel miserable. But those who are committed to making their marriage work are also committed to communicating with their spouse and making the other person happy. Michael goes out of his way to brighten my day. He brings home surprises, he calls me from work just to see how I’m doing, and he spends time having fun with me in the evenings. There’s nothing miserable about that.
Myth: Sex After Marriage is Lousy.
Fact: It’s true that intimacy can be difficult when a couple is busy with new-found responsibilities such as caring for a new baby, BUT there’s nothing like making love to someone who knows what you like and how you like it. When you’ve been with the same person for 25 years, you connect on an entirely different level. You know each other more intimately than two people possibly can, and you know how to make your spouse tick.
Myth: After You Say “I Do,” It’s all Downhill from There
Fact: Planning a wedding is hard. The weeks leading up to it are exciting, but they can also be an incredible source of stress. When the decorations are put away and all the guests have gone home, you can finally relax and start enjoying yourselves. That’s when the real journey begins. The wedding is merely one gift on a string of many blessings that unfold over the years: that moment you hold your first child, then your second, and your third… the day you purchase your first home together and start picking out furniture… the afternoon your husband comes home to tell you that he got the promotion that you’ve been praying for… making your own family traditions… saving for retirement… becoming grandparents… and the list goes on…
Myth: Only a Few People are Lucky Enough to Stay in Love.
Fact: Staying in love has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with commitment. Those who are committed to making their marriage work put in the effort it takes to improve themselves and to love their spouse through the good times and bad.
Myth: In-Laws are the Enemy
Fact: More and more I’ve seen women around me connecting with their mother-in-laws and vice-versa. There’s nothing as sweet as hearing one refer to a young woman as their daughter-in-love. My mother-in-law is a wonderful person. She has given me one of the greatest gifts that a woman can give another by the way she raised my husband. It takes time and patience to blend two families together, but I’ll always be grateful to have them in our lives.
Check out my new book,
The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth
You are loved by an almighty God,
The Time-Warp Wife