The Number One Reason that Marriage is Tough

The Number One Reason that Marriage is Tough

It’s often been said, “Don’t pray for patience, because you’ll get trials. Don’t ask for patience if you don’t want tribulation.”

And that’s true. We don’t want tribulation. Who wants to be put through the fire? I don’t, but I know that it’s good my soul.

Looking at the Bible, I can’t help but notice the many people who were broken before God used them. It’s astounding to see just how many were brought down to their knees before God lifted them up.

  • Joseph was thrown into a pit and sold into slavery by his brothers.
  • Moses beat an Egyptian to death and hid the body in the sand. When Pharaoh heard what Moses had done, he tried to have him killed.
  • Samson lost his strength. He was broken, humiliated, blind, and in bondage.
  • God wrestled with Jacob and put his thigh out of joint before he called him, “Israel” (who prevails with God)
  • Ruth lost her husband. She left behind her home, and her people.
  • David was a murderer, and an adulterer. He lost his infant son.
  • Peter denied Christ three times on the night of His death.
  • The disciples fell asleep when the Lord needed them most.
  • Paul was stricken with blindness for three days before his conversion.

In sermon #2282, titled, “David’s Prayer in the Cave,” Charles Spurgeon writes, “Is it not a curious thing that whenever God means to make a man great, He always first breaks him in pieces?” And he goes on to say, “I want to comfort you by showing you that this is God’s way of making something of you. He is digging you out! You are like an old ditch—you cannot hold any more—and God is digging you out to make more room for more Grace. That spade will cut sharply and dig up sod after sod, and throw it to one side. The very thing you would like to keep shall be cast away and you shall be hollowed out, and dug out, that the word of Elisha may be fulfilled, “Make this valley full of ditches. For thus says the Lord, You shall not see wind, neither shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water.” You are to be tried, my Friend, that God may be glorified in you!

Every marriage goes through some ups and downs. Every couple has their fair share of trials. If we hope to get through them together, we need to be tried because we need to grow in patience, perseverance, and faith. The reason that marriage is tough is because empathy, compassion, and grace are best understood by those who have gone through the fire. If we hope to give love, we must first become students of love.

As much as we hate trials, they promote spiritual growth. They have the potential to draw us closer together and closer to God. Therefore scripture instructs us to be thankful for them.

If we run from our trials or choose the easy way out instead of choosing the right way to live, we miss out on the blessings of a mature life in Christ.

So maybe you’re sitting there today wondering why you’re going through this tough time. Maybe you’re wondering why marriage is tough, why friendships are hard, or why you’ve been let down time and again…

Maybe it’s time to thank God that you’re growing in grace. Maybe it’s time to learn something from this trial instead of running from it. And maybe this is an opportunity to grow closer to God and closer together.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

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Written by Darlene Schacht

I'm an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of my life. My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, we have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone's babies, especially mine! Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Facebook: timewarpwife Twitter: timewarpwife Pinterest: timewarpwife

6 Comments

  1.  avatar
    Mini says:

    Just as I was wondering why me, Lord?? I received this message in my inbox. Thanks to the Almighty ! I now know that these tribulations are my way to grow in His Grace. Glory to God in the Highest!!

  2.  avatar
    Taisha says:

    This is soo hard. This is true not only in marriage. I still believe God will some day pull us out of the ding hole. Thank you for this tough truthful message! God cannot lie. He has begun a work in me and will see it through. He created us to have dominion! I will not get weary in well doing. Resist the Devil and he will flee. Hold on! Hold on! This is what I say to myself! There is nothing too hard for the Lord! In Jesus name!

  3.  avatar

    Thank you for your words of truth and encouragement. It is true, we all need to learn to embrace the seasons of change and turmoil as opportunities to grow closer, stronger, go deeper in our relationship with God and with our spouses. There is always something to learn, something to grow us even more so in our marriage, in our faith walk.

  4.  avatar
    Michelle says:

    Just a word of wisdom Mini, ask the Lord that through His Holy Spirit you learn to never ask why me. Yes, we are humans beings who hurt when facing many situations, but unless we are living a consequence of an error, whathever trial and hardship the Lord let us go through it is just that…what He wants us to go through. That is, if you are living willing to be submitted to His Word. It is not easy, there is pain, discomfort, heartache, and many other hard to face feelings, but when living a life completely surrendered at His hands, we should learn to never ask why me or why….how about show me your purpose and how You will be glorified, Lord? Many blessings to you and remember, as His Word states, we are never going through a situation alone. Somewhere, someone is going or has gone through the same. In Christ Love 🙂

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