Drawn from my archives

The other night my husband and I had a fight. It’s the first spat we’ve have in a long time, and it didn’t feel right. I was explaining my frustration to him over a work related issue, and he was feeling the pressure between me and things that weren’t in his power to change. It was really a small thing, but we were both getting frustrated, and the more that we talked the worse it was getting.

It wasn’t so much our words anymore. Body language took over. He was talking, I looked away in frustration, and he let out a huff. Then I shook my head and said, “I’m just looking away for a minute…”

You know how it goes.

The next thing I know, he stands up and walks into the bathroom to get ready for bed, while I’m left sitting there mulling things over.

Michael walked back in the room, turned off his lamp and crawled under the blankets.

I had a choice to make. I could either give him the silent treatment, or I could choose God’s plan for my marriage.


Let all bitterness and wrath and anger
and clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice.

And be kind to one another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in Christ
also has forgiven you.
~ Ephesians 4:31-32

Crawling over to his side of the bed, I leaned over and gently kissed his face…

Keeping our cool isn’t always easy, but every time we let go and let God we are exercising that muscle of self control.

I’m saying “self control” here because we need to bring our flesh under the subjection of our Spirit. Our flesh wants nothing more than to stomp our feet and have our own way, but our Spirit calls us to be tender-hearted and controlled. That’s where our true strength lies.

When the Spirit is in control we see the fruit of love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness and goodness. But when the flesh is out of control we get angry, short-tempered, abrupt, and stressed out.

I’m not saying don’t fight with your husband. By all means do! But rather than fighting against each other, fight for your marriage alongside one another bringing every thought and every action into the obedience of Christ. Surrender yourselves to the Lord. Stop fighting against the will of God and start fighting for the good of your marriage!


The weapons we fight with are not the
weapons of the world. On the contrary,
they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that
sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it
obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to
punish every act of disobedience, once your
obedience is complete.
~ 2 Corinthians 10:4-6

You are loved by an almighty God,

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