Father’s Day has come and gone. Maybe you cooked hubby his favorite dish or the kids painted a masterpiece. Although this day for dads is officially over, you can continue to pour on the love with these three gifts, not bought in a store, but given with love:
Gift #1: Prioritize Your Marriage. When kids come into the picture, women naturally throw themselves into nurturing those young lives. Husbands tend to be put on the back burner for 18 years while parenting takes center stage. Or perhaps you don’t have children, but you have a consuming job or demanding schedule. Your husband is an adult and can help himself right? But listen to what one husband had to say:
When a woman is engaged to be married, she pours all her nurture into her man. She holds him, kisses him, and talks sweetly to him. They have fun together, do interesting things together, and enjoy the physical affection of first love. Then after they marry and have kids, all that nurture that went originally to the husband is suddenly transferred to the children. The kids benefit from all the maternal instincts and become the primary focus of all her tender nurture. The husband is just as needy for that nurture, but he is too proud to admit it.
Remember that your husband craves your affection and care, but doesn’t want to beg for it. He bites the bullet because he’s supposed to be the strong one. Yet he desperately wants tender loving care just like you do.
Gift #2: Nix the Nagging. I asked my husband if men wanted words of affirmation, compliments and admiration for Father’s Day. Although he said yes, he said that even more important than what is said to a man can be what is not said.
Namely…stop the nagging.
Imagine what life would be like if you constantly heard things like “When are you going to get around to taking me to dinner?” and “Why can’t you get the dishwasher fixed?” None of us signed up for a stream of constant criticism when we got married. In my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband, I interviewed actor Kevin Sorbo (God’s Not Dead, Hercules). He and his wife decided a long time ago that they would not belittle each other or constantly correct one another. Sorbo says,
You don’t have to flex your intelligence all the time. If anything, it’s being more supportive with each other and more of a teammate with each other than being the person who is always cutting down. That is something that will make a relationship go away in a hurry.
That reminds me from the verse in Proverbs which is actually repeated twice in Proverbs 21:9 and Proverbs 25:24, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
If someone were to repeat all the things you say to your husband, would it be “news that’s fit to print?” Make a commitment today to nix the nagging.
Gift #3: Get Physical. Being sexually intimate with you means the world to your husband. Psychologist David Clarke suggests having a regular dialogue with your husband about your sex life. Ask each other, What can I do better? What would you like from me? Sex happens spontaneously and passionately on the big screen but rarely in real life if you’re a busy person. Dr. Clarke says,
Working as a team, you schedule your sex. Couples with kids that don’t schedule sex don’t have sex. Or at least they don’t have it very often. Here’s how it works. If we schedule that we’re going to have sex in one or two days, we can both start getting prepared. The man doesn’t need much time but the woman does. Now she can start looking forward to it and marshalling her resources so she’s not spent that day. That’s a day that you want to save your energy and start thinking about it. Women have to work on this more than men. We think about sex all the time. Now we think about it with our wives, that’s the good news.
Wives feel appreciated emotionally. Husbands feel appreciated physically. Your husband needs not only the words, “I appreciate you doing a great job for our family.” He also needs physical touch to make that message come alive. So plan a romantic evening. Give a coupon book for massages. Kiss for one minute a day for the rest of the month. Do something physical to show your husband your affection.
Which of these 3 gifts would your husband like to receive this week?