Drawn from my archives
My daughter came home from school one day with an interesting story about her teacher. Long story short, the teacher used to sleep with a gun by their side while her husband slept close to a bat. In response to a serious threat, they were fiercely protecting their children.
After she finished her story, I looked over at my daughter and said, “Well, honey, a mama bear will go to great lengths to protect her cubs.”
Mama bears are affectionate, protective, nurturing, and strict, but if they sense that their cubs are in danger, look out–they’re fierce.
After 22 years of raising children I’ve seen it in action time and again. You don’t mess with someone’s kid on the playground unless you want to spend time with their mom in the principles office.
Unfortunately, what we’re not seeing enough of are couples protecting their marriage as fiercely as they would their kids.
I’ve seen countless women who are affectionate, protective, and nurturing mothers, but I’ve also seen many women step out of their marriage because it simply wasn’t fulfilling their needs.
I’m not talking about abusive relationships here, that’s an issue that needs to be reported and dealt with wisely.
What I am talking about today is a husband and wife’s responsibility to protect their marriage from harm, and in some cases protect it from their own selfish desire and pride.
Titus 2:5 tells women to be good “keepers” of their home.
The word keeper there is, oikourgos (Strong’s G3626) in the Greek translation. It’s a compound word formed from the root words, oikos (Strong’s G3624) house, and ouros – to guard or be ware.
See the use of that word “ouros” again in this verse:
Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. – 1 Peter 1:5
It means to guard, protect, and shield.
In much the same way, we are to instructed to guard and protect our home (that includes our marriage) from harm.
Here’s something important to note about a watchman: he isn’t reactive–he’s proactive. He doesn’t wait until the enemy is upon them to sound the alarm. A watchman climbs the tower at the city gates, and he carefully watches. He knows that danger could be lurking around the corner at any time and it’s his job keep an eye out for it.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: – 1 Peter 5:8
With that in mind, let’s look at five ways to start protecting your marriage:
1. Pray often and pray together – We have been given the incredible opportunity to enter the throne room, and bring our marriage before the King of all Kings. When we stop to consider how valuable this gift is, you have to wonder why it’s ever a last resort.
2. Pay attention to each other’s needs – Unresolved hurt and anger can take root in a person’s heart. Communicate wisely by listening to each other and being sensitive to the needs of your spouse.
3. Be careful about outside relationships – Innocent friendships can easily escalate between men and women. Honour God and honour your spouse by keeping a safe distance.
4. Pull back the reigns on social media – Don’t let the internet become a priority in your home. Practice putting down your phone when you’re together and closing the laptop for some face-to-face time.
5. Control Your Thoughts – Don’t keep a mental record of wrongs. Don’t harbour resentment. Don’t feed unforgiveness. Don’t entertain thoughts of divorce. Don’t entertain thoughts of infedelity. Control your thoughts by taking them captive. Don’t let your thoughts control you–control them. Bring them into obedience. Defy them with the truth of scripture. Stand strong. James 4:7 tells us to, “resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Yes–those thoughts can be defeated. Keep fighting.
And here’s another scripture, that’s perfect to close with:
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. – 2 Corinthians 10:5&6
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife
Pick up a copy of my book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages.*
* Amazon affiliate link
Click here for today’s marriage prayer:
