6 Ways to Build Up Your Husband

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Posted Under: Inspiring Images Marriage


Written by Darlene Schacht

I'm an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of my life. My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, we have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone's babies, especially mine! Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Facebook: timewarpwife Twitter: timewarpwife Pinterest: timewarpwife


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    Mom of Six Kiddoes says:

    Unfortunately, there is very little out there for men. I have read this list, done it, read variations on it, done them, read every book out there, you name it. There isn’t the same thing for men and I am awfully tired of everyone blaming Mom and wife for everything — literally everything. Not that I don’t agree with all you are doing and writing, I agree completely. It’s just that I’m too tired and too exhausted to try and care anymore. I bought the Good Wife’s Guide, loved it, tried, read all the other books out there like you would not believe, and got the same messages over and over and over……

    ….and nothing changed at all in my marriage. I did develop a better rapport with my children, and that’s been great. But I have no interest at all in my marriage. I also learned the secret of good communication — shut up and agree with your husband verbally, even if you don’t mentally and intellectually. Men will become very irate if you disagree with them or try to tell them what you need! The communication secret for all wives is — keep your mouth shut unless it’s to answer a direct question with the fewest words possible — just the bare facts, and definitely no mitigating circumstances (that’s making excuses and is whining in his eyes, and will only net you misery). At least that’s my experience. They want to give you what they think you need, not what you want and need. I’ve accepted that.

    We have a sort of silent agreement that he is on his side of the tracks, I’m on my side of the tracks, and we keep up a façade of being a happily married couple for the sake of others. Men just don’t read anything on marriage and they don’t have websites like these for them, and if they do, I would be willing to bet that 95% of married men wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. They are too proud and they just don’t care.

    I’m sorry to be the voice of cynicism, but I am a tired, worn out, overexhausted wife who has had it. At this point I don’t even want my marriage to get better; I want it to stay just the way it is, where I’ll leave him alone and he leaves me alone.

    • One of the key elements in marriage which I do try to stress over and over is that you can’t look to your husband for your reward. If we look at the example of Jesus who washed the feet of His disciples just hours before His death we see agape love in action.

      Jesus knew very well that one disciple would sell Him out that very night. He also knew that another one would deny him. But still He demonstrated love in the most humble way possible by washing their feet.

      As long as we’re in this world, we’ll always be disappointed. People will never measure up to perfection, and most won’t even measure up to our ideal. That’s why it’s important that we keep our eyes on the One Who rewards those who love selflessly.

      Our purpose isn’t found in a 50/50 relationship, it’s found in those quiet moments when no one but God sees the work of your hands.

      I encourage you to check out matthewljacobson.com if you are looking to find a men’s blog. There are several out there. And as for the men reading them? Maybe not as many because women tend to buy more books then men. They seem to lean more toward this type of thing. But there are thousands of men to are seeking God for their marriage.

      Don’t lose heart. Press on.

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