The 15-Second Challenge: How One Little Kiss Can Make a Big Difference in Your Marriage

One Little Kiss Can Make a Big Difference In Your Marriage

Today we’re on chapter fourteen in our book club for The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth. Today’s chapter is on the virtue of passion. More information on the book club is found underneath the post. (View table of contents here.)

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I’m not his sister, nor do I want to be. And so there are days when I pull Michael close and say, “Let’s try that again.”

After 25 years, pecking has become a habit for us. We always say hello, with a warm long-lasting hug, but the kiss? It lost its spark somewhere around the mid 90′s along with the Scrunchie. Before that we used to kiss each other passionately. We kissed like we meant it, and we kissed a lot.

For the most part, the kiss became routine for us like so many other things in our life. Until I took the challenge that is.

The kissing challenge has been around for years. There are books written on it, and people talking about it. Why? Because it works.

There’s a story about a young man who’s been married for seven years. His wife is incredible, his kids are great, and things are going well for them. For the most part his marriage is good, but something is lacking. The passion is gone and he doesn’t know why.

One day he decides to bring up the topic of marriage with his father. If anyone had a great marriage it was his mom and dad. Married over 30 years, his parents still held hands when they walked and still smiled at each other like two teenagers in love.

“Dad, what’s your secret?” he asked. “Why is your marriage so strong when so many others are failing?”

Taking off his watch, he passed it to his son who turned it around to read the inscription. “15 seconds everyday ~ no less.”

“I got this watch from my father,” he said, “and now I’m giving it to you. Kiss her 15 seconds every day. No less. Come back to me in a month and tell me if it doesn’t make a difference.”

Could 15 seconds make a difference? I had to try it out in my laboratory (the kitchen), and my handsome subject just happened to be there.

Approaching him for a kiss, I leaned in. He responded with the usual quick peck on the lips, but just as he started to duck away, I grabbed hold of his waist pulled him in close and whispered, “Let’s try that again, but longer.”

15 seconds was all it took for the passion to wash over me, reminding me of how I fell deeply and passionately in love with him.

Who knew that one little kiss could make such a big difference? Apparently King Solomon did when he wrote these beautiful words in The Song of Solomon,

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love is better than wine. – Song of Solomon 1:2

If you want to bring passion back into your marriage, then I encourage you to take this kissing challenge. Kiss each other for about 15 seconds each day. Don’t put on a timer or start counting the seconds, just be in the moment long enough for a lingering passionate kiss that says I’d marry you all over again.

Your are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht

Let’s discuss chapter 15 on Monday!

Find out more about the book here. And feel free to jump in to the book club with us–you can catch up on the chapters you missed anytime. We have 18 lessons in total!

Join The Virtuous Life Book Club on Facebook and join our community of over 179,000 women on Facebook here

Today’s Challenge: I think you got the idea! *wink*

 

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Written by Darlene Schacht

I'm an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of my life. My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, we have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone's babies, especially mine! Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Facebook: timewarpwife Twitter: timewarpwife Pinterest: timewarpwife

14 Comments

  1.  avatar
    tascha says:

    I sent a link about this to my husband a weeks ago… when he’d read it he came in the kitchen and said, let’s practice. :) i made it 10 seconds before busting out laughing. His kisses dont make me laugh, but knowing WHY made me laugh, and knowing he was actually counting. lol. … we tried again ;) {a couple times}

  2.  avatar
    Myra D. Martinez says:

    That is a wonderful suggestion! Can’t wait to try it out! It’s amazing how something so simple can spark a marriage up again! Thanks Darlene for opening your heart & life to us so that we may live better lives for Christ & as wives.

  3.  avatar
    RJ says:

    I just started reading the book last week….after 24 years of marriage, many ups and downs I knew I needed help. God is everything to me and my husband and we just want our marriage to be what God dersires it to be, but of course we were in the way. Just the first section on Virtue was just for me. I cant wait to try 15 seconds with my husband and I’m so glad God kead me to you and this amazing book! Many blessings! RJ

  4.  avatar
    Charlee says:

    I need to quit reading posts like this – they just make me cry. I’d be thrilled with a 5 second kiss – 15 seconds would be heaven.

  5.  avatar
    Carolyn says:

    My Husband and I love to kiss>>>it doesn’t matter where, we kiss in front of the kids, which is really great
    for your children to see how much you love each other….even if they say eel… I actually taught my husband how to kiss when we dated 30yrs ago and I am happy I did!!

  6.  avatar

    Thank You For This. My Husband And I Have Been Married 2 Yrs, But Dated Off And On For Nearly 13 Before He Was Finally Able To Commit. He Is A Wonderful Godly man. I Have A Daughter That’s Not Biologically His But He Is The Only Father Figure She’s Know . HE Loves HeR As If She Were His. The Issue Is We Are Stuck In The Daily Routine Of Things And There Is No Passion. I’m On A Medication That Leaves Me With No Physical Desire And He Is Great But I’m Sure It’s Very Difficult For Him. We Used To havE A Ton Of Passion, But It’s Fizzled. I Am Praying Maybe This Will Put That Spark Back Into Our Relationship.Thank You For Posting This! I Can’t Wait Until 6 When He Comes Home. ;)

  7.  avatar
    Shelley says:

    Fantastic idea – so simple, yet integral to keeping our passion alive. My hubby and I are currently celebrating 32 years. It hasn’t all been roses, and we have to work at it every day. Last night we danced on the back porch. Just the two of us – making every day count!

  8.  avatar

    Hi there! I just have to tell you I absolutely love this! Being a military wife and having your husband gone for months at a time can really effect the passion in your marriage. You would think it would be completely opposite but i think because you get so use to them not being around and going about your everyday life alone that when they are home you forget to put the passion back into the marriage because you’ve been on cruise control the past couple months while they were gone. Reading this has done wonders for my husband and I and it has totally reignited that spark! I can’t thank you enough for sharing this! I also just want to tell you how much I love your page in general!! I have shared it on my “like” page and I want to share it on my blog! Very inspirational for women :) thanks again!

  9.  avatar
    Crystal Senne says:

    Advice like this is what God has used to keep me believing in the power of God’s love in my marraige. My husband and I haven’t even been married even a year, infact this May25th will be our first anniversary. And while it isn’t that we are struggling in our marraige at this point, I, myself, do struggle with touch and intimacy. Because of a long and tragic sexual abuse when I was just a little girl, my life, including my love life with my husband, is tremendously mentally changed. And while no one will truly understand unless they have been through the same thing, I often turn to these things and I do alot of “experimenting” with my husband to see what will work for ME. I have worked on things like just hugging him tight for a few seconds every day, and always saying I love you every night, even when it’s a bad night. Or never missing the goodnight or goodbye kiss, no matter what. And this 15 second challenge is truly something I needed to read about. My heart hurts so much because I can’t always give my husband the intamacy he truly desires to share with me. It isn’t that I just don’t want to be intimate with him, most of the time it’s that I actually can’t bring myself to it. Touch can, at times, make me cringe, unless I am truly relaxed and trusting God and His love in me. Articles like this are in place for people like me. I truly believe that. God places stepping stone all around, and I am so glad I took the time to step on this one and investigate it.
    Thank you for this.

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