We’re on chapter 16 in our book club for The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife.
The topic today is The Balanced Wife.
More information on the book club is found underneath the post. (View table of contents here.)
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It was dinnertime, I had just finished rinsing the pasta when I decided to call my husband. “Hey,” I said, “where are you?”
I usually ask that question because the drive home takes about 45 minutes. If I know where he’s at, I can gauge what time he’ll be home.
“Um,” he sighed, “I’m at the car dealership…”
Oh no. Yet another thing I forgot! I was supposed to meet him there at 5pm to give him a ride home. It was 5:15 and he was waiting for me across town.
Leaving the pasta to cool, I ran out the door calling back to my daughter, “I’m going to pick up Dad from the auto park, we’ll be back in about 45 minutes!”
Days like this are par for the course. I tend to forget everything. Sure, I try to write things down, but my problem is that I forget to check my lists.
If you tell me at 7 to pick you up at 9, I’ll probably forget by 8:00.
Someone once told me that every time a baby is born, they steal a handful of brain cells on the way out. And yeah–I can’t remember who told me that either.
And so I make do. My life is surrounded by post it notes, routines, notifications, and nudges.
Regardless of how forgetful I am or how disorganized I can be, I’m determined to live a balanced life. It’s a virtue because it’s an area of my life that I exercise to bring glory to God.
To me, a balanced life is first and foremost a grounded life. When we’re balanced, we’re not pulled in every direction. We’re not drawn away from the things that are important to us.
The thing is there are seasons. There are some seasons that are more difficult than others and there will be days when everything feels like it’s getting away from you. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with it all. I’ve been there. When Graham was a sick baby, I slept in the hospital with him for nearly a week. I had two other kids at home, I was homeschooling, and my husband was running a fairly new business. Things felt unbalanced. I felt like our lives were out of control.
Were they? Not really.
We tend to view a balanced life as a laid-back, stress-free life, but sometimes the most balanced lives feel like they’re out of control. Balance is more about priorities than it will ever be about routine, laundry, or chore charts.
Those things are important in living an organized life–absolutely, but at the end of the day the question remains, “Have I kept my priorities straight?”
Did I honour God with my life?
Did I love my husband today?
Did I do the best that I could for my children?
Those are the priorities that ground us. When we put faith and family first in our lives we start to understand the reason that we do everything else. That’s when our purpose makes sense. That’s where we truly find balance.
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene Schacht
Let’s discuss chapter 17 on Monday!
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Oh My! I live at that address from the scenario you described. My life radically changed when the Lord CLEARLY directed us to adopt two sibling boys who are 11 months apart, who have trauma issues, and we were very close to being empty nesters. Between the huge change, and I know going through menopause takes handfuls of brain cells right along with at our tiny boys. 🙂
The three things to consider each day:
Did I honor God with my life today,
Did I love my husband today,
Did I do the best I could with my children
Helped me realize this is a realistic plumb line, and a better focus.
Thank you!
Blessings,
Joanne
Joanne, thanks for sharing your story. I pray that God will give you strength and guidance during this season of your lives. And congratulations to you all!
Gud one.Too often we are wrapped on routines,we forget priorities.
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I am always looking for the “recipe” for order in my home. My husband and I live with his mother who can no longer stay alone due to her dementia. My husband has also been going thru some health issues. I love the “recipe” you have listed. Somehow I always seem to forget to put God in his justified place in my life. I am posting this on my refridgerator today and will read it every day to be sure I have my priorities straight.
I thoroughly enjoyed this lesson on The Balanced Wife. It is so easy to become unbalanced when we look at our lives through worldly glasses instead of through Gods perspective of us. Sometimes I even look at my Christian girlfriends and think “I should be able to do that in my life.” I liked the comment of making sure that it is not just Gods will but is it His will for me? That is the bottom line, I think. Thank you for studies like these.
Sometimes we can feel so alone. I often wondered if anyone had as terrible a memory as I seem to:) i once lost a good friendship because of it. As a single at home mom at the time, i was asked by another single mom to watch her daughter while she went to work. Somewhere in my day, i forgot and went out and left her stranded. Mortified, I called and apologized profusely and begged her to give me another chance which she did about a month later. I woke up repeating over and over to myself not to go out. Somewhere around 2:00 in the afternoon, the sunshine and warmth beckoned and I was cooped in a tiny apartment with my 3 year old. What in the world were we doing inside on such a glorious day??!! I DID IT TO MY POOR FRIEND AGAIN!! I did not call her, i knew I couldn’t convince her a second time that it was just a terrible memory. That was and still remains the toughest consequence. On a happier note though, all my 5 children still speak to me even though every one of them could probably tell you a “The Time My Mom Forgot Me” story. Some of them have more than one, and some were just “I was late and you left the pick up zone” stories:)!! Thank you for the short, ordered and important list of balancing factors, Darlene. I may be able to commit them to memory! I know that I need to:). Honour God with my life. Love my husband each day. Do my best for my kids. YAY! I didn’t even have to go back up and look, but it did hurt my brain a little;))!!
You sound so much like me. Wow. It’s horrifying when you forget something so important. I had a date with a friend from out of town once. She drove about 45 minutes with her baby to meet me for lunch and I was at home sleeping. I didn’t remember. I felt sick to my stomach afterward.
This is the article I needed to read. It’s the end of the school year and is such a busy time for all. I have been feeling this for sometime. I’m happy to have questions to ask everyday to make sure I’m balanced.
This touched me …I identified to say the least! The 3 questions are a gift…thank you!