Young men and women will be saying “I do,” but until then they have plans to take care of. Among many things, there are flowers to choose, songs to select, and a main course to decide on.

Do you remember the excitement in all of that?

Most of us have been there and while it was one of the most beautiful seasons of our lives, it all ended too quickly. Once the dress was packed away and the flowers were hung to dry we started a new chapter of our lives–one that has called us to live and to love in ways that we’ve never imagined.

The way that we choose to embark on this chapter sets the course for our lives. Will we choose God’s plan for marriage which is perfect in every way? Or do we consider His ways too old-fashioned, too old-school for couples today?

Here’s the thing. The Bible tells us that He’s the same God yesterday today and forever. He’s both the author and finisher of our faith. And the idea of marriage? It was planned long before any of us stepped foot on this earth. We serve an incomparable God who is perfect in every way and Whose wisdom runs deeper than any one of us could ever conceive.

God’s word is the perfect guidebook for marriage, and those who live by His Word will reap the blessings that obedience brings.

Will some of these look the same as any other marriage? Yes, on the outside they might. A wife could submit to her husband out of tradition or loyalty, and yes, any couple could cultivate friendship, etc. The difference between the two must be this: the way we treat our spouse in a Christ-centered marriage is an extension of our love toward God. 

When we love God will all of our heart, we seek His will for our marriage. We don’t love our husbands the way that we do because it’s popular to do so, or because it’s a family tradition. We do so because we believe that His Word is just as powerful and effective as it was thousands of years ago. We do so because His wisdom runs deep. And we do so because we love God with all our heart, our soul and our mind.

When the going gets tough? We lean on God’s wisdom instead of our own.

Whether we’re sitting in a church pew, we’re down on our knees in prayer, or we’re standing at the sink washing dishes, our marriage will bring glory to God when we love for the sake of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

Let’s look at twelve tips for marriage that are in line with God’s will for our lives:

Marriage Tip No. 1: Pray with and for each other. 

Prayer is a powerful tool in any marriage, but too often it’s put on the back burner and considered a last resort. Not only are we told to pray in scripture–we’re told to pray without ceasing. That doesn’t have to mean that we’ll be in the prayer closet 24/7, it can be as simple as talking to God while you’re folding laundry, thanking Him while you’re out for a walk, or holding hands around the dinner table. There are so many ways that we can incorporate prayer into our marriage, isn’t there?

Pull prayer to the forefront of your marriage. Seek the will of God in all that you do and give him the glory for all that He’s done!

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 2: Communicate with love and respect.

This means that we must exercise holding our tongue and controlling our temper. The more we control our selves, the easier it is to do over time. It’s like exercising a muscle that gets stronger with use. The worse thing we can is to lose control of our tongue and say damaging things that can’t be taken back.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. – Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 2: Submit to your husband.

Marriage is designed to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church, and so we submit to our husbands as a reflection of that love. In return, the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Keep in mind that He loved the church enough to sacrifice His own life for it.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Ephesians 5:22-25 (KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 4: Be Willing to Give More than You Get

Marriage isn’t 50/50. Love isn’t about taking turns, waiting to be served, or keeping track of who apologized last.

Why not? Because true love isn’t self seeking. When you love someone, you want the best for them and you hope for the best.

Without pride we wouldn’t need to address this. It wouldn’t be an issue in any relationship. Pride is what takes our eyes off of God and onto ourselves. But we’re called to be Christ-like which means that we love the unlovable, and give of ourselves sacrificially.

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? – Matthew 5:46 (NIV

Marriage Tip No. 5: Cultivate Friendship

Don’t ever lose sight of the man that you married. My guess is that you started out as friends and my advice for you is that you finish that way. Couples who keep their friendship alive, also keep their spark alive, and that’s something you never want to lose!

How do you maintain a friendship with your husband? The answer is simple really. It’s all about being friendly. Consider the close friendships you’ve had and ask yourself who that person was to you. What made that relationship stand out from the others?

Was she someone that you could rely on? Was she sincerely interested in your life? Was she your cheerleader? Did the two of you have fun? Considering these characteristics may help you determine how you can best be a friend to your husband.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 6: Stop the Nagging, Ladies!

When you married your husband you married a man, not a project. He’s not yours to change, fix or tweak. He’s yours to love.

Yes, you can communicate your frustration to him. In fact you should be communicating. But whatever you do, resist the temptation to nag. Approach him with love and respect and then leave him to his work.

If you’re struggling in this area, don’t underestimate the power of prayer. Bring your request to the Lord and allow him to do the heart work. You’re there to love and encourage your man.

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. – Proverbs 27:15(KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 7: Show some respect.

God loved us while we were sinners, and sent His son into this world to suffer and die for our sins. He continues to bless us each and every day because He’s a God of grace. In the same way we need to exercise grace when it comes to others.

We might not respect every thing that a husband does or says. We might not agree with him completely, and we might be polar opposites. But we can offer respect by showing him the things we admire about him and loving him with a humble heart.

Long before, Dr. Phil, Dr. Ruth, or Dr. Laura,  stepped onto the scene, God knew the importance of respect toward a husband and the impact it can have in a marriage. Therefore he commanded:

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33, NIV

Marriage Tip No. 8: Don’t talk bad about your husband. Ever.

Honor your husband by being his cheerleader and trustworthy companion when he’s out of your sight. If your tongue has been babbling on for several years, consider it a wild horse. You need to tame that horse by training it thought by thought and word by word–taking every thought captive, until you’re willing to yield to the obedience of Christ.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, NIV

Marriage Tip No. 9: Keep your sex life alive.

When you live with someone a long time and you start getting comfortable with them, it can be tempting to get lazy when it comes to affection. Whether it’s hand holding, hugging, or making love, it’s important that we keep that area of our marriage alive so that we are showing each other the affection we need. Married couples are more than just friends, they are lovers too.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:1-5

Marriage Tip No. 10: Get the idea of divorce out of your mind. Completely.

Be determined to work together until you find a solution rather than walking away when the going gets tough. Don’t set yourself up for a failure.

Marriage is a covenant that reflects the union between Jesus Christ and the church. We have the assurance that He won’t turn His back on us. His grace and forgiveness is unfailing, which is the same mindset that we should have toward others. We’ve been forgiven much, therefore we have much to forgive.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. – Mark 10:9 (KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 11: Have fun together.

Some of the best times that my husband and I have together are when we’re playing a board game with the kids or kicking a ball around outside. Spending time together away from the phone and computer to relax and play, is a great way to promote laughter and fun. Laughter is one the best things we share!

Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. – Proverbs 5:18 (KJV)

Marriage Tip No. 12: Appreciate what you have.

This one is last, but definitely not least. When we start counting our blessings it turns our focus off of the things that we don’t have and onto the things that we have.

Appreciating our husbands, and showing him that we’re thankful for the things that he does is a great way to express our love. It’s also a good way to turn our focus away from ourselves and onto the goodness of God.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. – 1 Timothy 6:6-7 (KJV)

You are loved by an almighty God,

Visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Check out my book, The Good Wife’s Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet