31 Days of Prayer for Marriage,  Uncategorized

3 Rules for Good Communication (Marriage Challenge – 31 Days of Prayer)

Day 16 - 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages

When it comes to communication, what is the goal? Do we want to speak? Do we want to be heard? And do we want to listen? Of course we do, but there’s something we need even more than all that–it’s to be understood.

My brother-in-law is a carpenter and one of his rules is measure twice, cut once. In the same way a good rule of thumb for communication should be, listen twice, speak once. If we could listen twice as much as we speak we’d master the gift of communication much sooner. And we’d win a few hearts in the process.

One thing I’ve always admired about my closest friends is that they understood me like no one else could. Looking back on it now I’m guessing that’s probably the reason that we connected so well in the first place.

There’s been quite a few times when I could say to my friend Steph, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” And both of us would start laughing uncontrollably.

The really cool thing about being married to Michael is that our communication goes even deeper than that. We read each other’s body language as often as we verbalize our thoughts. But even then–when we’re speaking without words–it’s important that we listen.

So how do we communicate better? How do we listen more than we speak?

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12 Comments

  • Latosha

    Good Morning Women Of God, Communication is so important. Some of our rules for communication is 1) No interrupting while the other is speaking 2) No bringing up the past or pressing each others buttons 3) Don’t assume you know what the other is going to say,Listen! Have a Blessed Day Everyone.

  • Sheila

    I ask myself, “is what I am gong to say lift them up? Is it kind? Is it going to help or hurt the situation? Or Am I saying it out of spite? Meanness? For their benefit or mine?”

  • Lucy Ann

    Some of our rules for communicating with each other: Listen with your heart not only your ears. Give each other the benefit of the doubt. If a discussion is causing emotions to get in the way, we table it until later, lastly it’s okay to say I don’t want to talk about that right now, but to give a time when we can come together to talk. Good/healthy communication is very important and a huge part of our marriage! Blessings everyone!

  • Rochelle

    This is definitely an issue that I have been praying for in my marriage. I grew up in a Christian home with my father as a pastor. But I married my husband at a time of weakness. Now six years later, I am in an unequally yoked marriage. But God has been dealing with me through his word which tells me that I can win my husband through my walk with Christ not my talk. So I am learning to say less and pray more! I make sure that I am building my husband up daily. I still treat him as lord of our home.