5 Time-Tested Secrets for Keeping His Heart

Time-Tested Secrets For Keeping His Heart

You captured his heart, now what?

If you’re anything like me, you don’t want things to grow stale. My plan is to be dancing cheek to cheek with Michael long into retirement.  My desire is to not only capture his heart, but to keep it until death do us part.

In doing so, I look to wisdom that’s been passed down through the ages, habits that are evident in every tight-knit relationships, and time-tested secrets that are grounded in wisdom and backed up by the Word.

Are they really a secret? Not so much, but as the saying goes the truth is often hidden in plain site. When pride, impatience, and self-righteousness stand in our way we don’t see the rewards of true love.

So what are they? What are the time-tested secrets for keeping his heart? As far as I’m concerned these five top the list:

1. Pray with and for each other – Prayer is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to each other. It shows that you care enough to bring their needs before an almighty God. There isn’t a better way to strengthen your marriage or your spouse for that matter.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:12

2. Spend time together – God created wives to be companions with their husbands, and the best way to be companions is to spend time enjoying each other. This doesn’t mean that you have to go on expensive dates together–unless you want too–it can be as simple as reading to each other after dinner or playing a game of chess.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. – Genesis 2:18

3. Resolve conflict quickly – Resolving conflict quickly, calls for humility. We all want to be right don’t we? The moment we realize that doing right is better than being right, we strengthen our marriage. You might have a point, and you may very well be correct, but hurting someone else to make that point isn’t so cool.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. – Philippians 2:3, NIV

4. Respect each other – Show honor to your spouse with both your words and your actions. Speak highly of him. Allow him the honor of leading the the family. Be intentional about building him up.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33, NIV

5. Pour out grace – Holding grudges and keeping a record of all the times you’ve been hurt over the years only serves to nurture resentment. We all make mistakes and we’re all a work in progress. Being able to forgive and let go isn’t easy, but it’s Christ-like. Remember on the cross–during the hour of His death–He cried out, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Those are powerful words that reflect a God of incomparable grace.

 [Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. – 1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

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  • Cassie

    Such great reminders! Pouring out grace is a big one for me that I have learned recently and still work on daily. God gave it to me unconditionally and I should do the same for my hubby!

  • Vicky

    Timely advice.

    This past year has been a huge struggle for me. My husband admitted to years of infidelity (it started just months after we were married) and my world was rocked. We have 3 small children and I have chosen to stay. I believe God can bring beauty from ashes. However, it is so hard to love and respect a man who could choose to do that – repeatedly. He has not changed jobs, he has no accountability, he doesn’t really seem to be changing. It is disheartening to say the least. He promised me many things when he confessed, but it seems he just wanted a place to stay and to be able to see the kids. God is growing me a lot, giving me grace for each new day, and teaching me to rely fully on Him. I just wish I could see the future. He does not guarantee that our marriage will be restored. He doesn’t guarantee that my husband will change his ways and find victory over his sin. He doesn’t guarantee that life will be happy – no, He cares more about my holiness. But it doesn’t make life easy.

    • Jess

      Hi Vickie, you are truly a strong woman!!! My heart and prayers are with you!! You should check out this book “created to be his helpmate” by Debbie Pearl, it may give you more strength 🙂 it is orreanted to put our hearts towards His and past our circumstance 🙂

  • Kim

    I am just recently accepting the Lord back into my life and am blessed to be reminded of these “secrets” to keep my husband’s heart. Our marriage has been hard to say the least but I truly believe that the best is yet to come; that is with our commitment to each other & accepting God into our lives.

  • Lorrein

    Hi Vickie
    My heart & prayers are with you. The Lord will strengthen you & heal you in Jesus’ name. I know it hurts because we are in the same boat.
    I’m staying after such a huge infidelity confession too (I found out personally so there was no need for a confession)
    Its one of the hardest things praying for, overlooking mistakes, even just being nice… Its hard but God heals. I’m early in the healing process- I’ve regained my laugh back now. It had gone & even the children noticed & were greatly affected.
    Be of good courage, what the Lord has started in you He’ll surely see to completion & fruition.
    Remember God loves YOU ….