We’re bound to have difficult days, days when we don’t get along, and days we don’t see eye to eye.
Growing together is tough. You have two different people with two different ideas and a whole bunch of opinions that don’t always meld. So we fight. We get angry and hurt and upset.
Maybe you don’t call it fighting. Maybe you call it a disagreement, the silent treatment, or not getting along.
Regardless of what you might call it, one thing rings true: it’s more important to fight for our marriage than it is to fight for our pride.
Working together takes courage, patience, compassion and love. Without them we give into our pride and we make these four common mistakes:
1. We turtle – Turtling is the opposite of communicating. It’s turning inward when we should be turning outward. It’s bottling things up inside instead of gently communicating our thoughts.
If you find yourself turtling, try communicating instead. Just make sure you’re communicating in love.
2. We run – Running is easy. Anyone can walk out of a room and slam the door behind them. But here’s the thing: you can’t resolve a problem by running away from it. The best way to solve our problems is by working together in love.
If you find yourself running, find the courage to stay. And if you don’t have the courage, ask God to help you.
3. We get aggressive – we can’t go to war expecting to find peace. If we want our spouse to respond to us in a loving and caring way, we must treat them with love and respect.
If you find yourself lashing out, practice controlling your emotions right then and there. The more you exercise self-control, the stronger you’ll be.
4. We’re self-seeking – 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love, “seeketh not her own.” If we truly love someone we must be willing to put down our desire to win at all costs.
If you find yourself fighting to win, remind yourself that it’s more important to fight for your marriage than it is for your pride. Winning is not a reward. The best rewards come from obedience to God’s will.
Dear Heavenly Father,
We never imagined how much love could hurt. It stings when we’re going through conflict. It’s tough when we don’t see eye to eye.
We’re two different people with different ideas, growing together as one.
We’re bound to have difficult days. Help us to handle them well.
Teach us to fight for our marriage. Give us the strength to stay when we want to get up and run. Grant us the courage to work on our problems instead of sweeping them under the rug.
Remind us that it’s more important to fight for our marriage than it is for our pride.
In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
You are loved by an almighty God,
The Time-Warp Wife
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