There’s a big difference between a group and a team, and the difference has nothing to do with the size. You can have a team of two people and a group of twenty. The difference between the two is whether or not the members are working together toward common goals.
In the same way, a husband and wife can either be a couple or they can be a couple that’s also a team. The question is, are you working together toward common goals, or merely living under the same roof?
Sitting in church last Sunday, I heard an acronym that helps me to remember how great couples make good T-E-A-Ms!
It’s not always easy to trust another person, but when they consistently go the extra mile to protect your heart and reputation, you know they’re on your side. It’s easy to see they want nothing but the best for you.
So how do you become that person to your spouse?
Here’s a good rule of thumb: ask yourself, Are the hidden things strengthening my marriage or tearing it down?
Can your husband place his trust in you? Do you honor him with your words when he’s out of your site? Do you honor him with your thoughts? Would he approve of your actions? (and vice versa for husbands).
When you’re on the same team, defending your spouse is the same as defending yourself.
Instead of tearing each other down, we should be building each other up.
Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. – Timothy 3:11
Empathy is identifying with another person’s feelings. When we empathize with someone, we open our minds to see their point of view.
In 1 Corinthians chapter 12, verse 26 Paul compares the church to a human body. He writes, “Whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.”
In the same way, if one spouse is hurting the marriage will suffer. This is why it’s important to work together as a team to resolve problems. Remember, it’s no longer me, but we.
We can also empathize with our husbands by slowing down to see them. You might not recognize when something is bothering him, but the more you spend time studying him, the better you get at reading his heart.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. – Romans 12:15
When I became a mom, I quickly learned what accommodation was all about. I had to make room in my home for the baby, I had to make room in my daily schedule (we’re talking tons of room here), and I had to make room in my sleep schedule (again a ton of room).
When you marry another person, you have to make space for him. More than you ever imagined. We must be willing to give of our time, our attention, our consideration, and our service if we truly hope to love.
A team is a blend of personalities, and it’s also a blend of our gifts.
God gave us differing gifts because He was able to see the beauty of gifts working together. People are stronger when they work in harmony, but we have to be willing to open our minds to make room for their ideas and their way of doing things. Some days we need patience to step out of the way, and grace as we allow them to grow.
To have a mission is to have a united purpose. Our mission is to have a Christ-centered marriage that brings glory to God in the way that we love and the way that we live. We also want a home full of laughter and love.
Your mission might be similar to ours, but it might also be different.
If you’re not sure what your mission is exactly, consider this thought:
Imagine yourself at the finish line. Looking back at your lives, you say to each other, “If we could do it all over again we would ________________________”
You are loved by an almighty God,
The Time-Warp Wife
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