5 Powerful Habits That Every Couple Should Practice


Michael and I have been married over 26 years now. Some of his habits I love and some not so much. Like the way that he kisses me every time he comes home–that one I love. Sleeping in a cold bedroom? That took some time to get used to. I remember waking up one cold winter night because the snow was blowing in my face. He liked to sleep with the windows open back then and I wanted them closed.

Early on in our marriage we attended a Valentine’s dinner for couples. During the course of the evening we played a little game to see how well we knew our spouse.

Michael was asked the question, “Which one of Darlene’s habits get on your nerves the most?”

We laughed out loud because both of us knew exactly what his answer would be. I do this weird thing with my throat when it’s itchy. I make a loud scratchy gurgling sound. And, well, the first time he heard me do it he just about jumped out of his skin. It’s a habit of mine I’ve carried on through the years.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. But the best habits–the ones that we want to solidify and ingrain in our marriage–need to be practiced day after day and year after year. I call them “habits” because I see them as behaviour that needs to be followed until it becomes a natural and necessary part of our marriage.

While some habits are bad or just downright annoying, here are five awesome habits that every couple should practice!

  1. Prayer is the powerful force behind the best marriages. It’s the invitation that opens a door wide for God to step through. If You want to see Him at work in your marriage, invite Him to be a part of it, and keep inviting Him in. (find daily marriage prayers at http://www.marriageprayers.today)
  2. Contentment. There’s so much wrapped up in this one. We all have expectations, but the problem with expectations is that they often fall through. A couple that walks in contentment faces each disappointment with joy. They trust in God’s faithfulness whatever may come.
  3. Humility is powerful because it says, I’m willing to put your needs before mine. It’s love in action. When we step down in humility, we bring glory to God and a gift to our marriage. Communication is rich when we can speak truth in love and when we allow ourselves to be wisely corrected.
  4. Persistence is the glue that keeps a couple together when the going gets tough. It’s the hand that holds on through better or worse. It’s the anchor that holds when we’re rich or we’re poor. It’s a vow to stand strong through sickness and health.
  5. Team work is what marriage is all about. God created Eve from Adam’s rib to illustrate the unity between a husband and his wife. We’re more than two separate beings living under one roof. We’re two pieces of one puzzle. The burdens of this life are lightened when another helps to carry the load. And isn’t laughter so much better when you have someone to share it with?

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

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  • Thiệu-Tiết Parsons

    Even for a “veteran at marriage” like me – will b 38 years of matrimony next month- I find this article is a GREAT foundation and framework for all married couples to have harmony in their marriages, especially for those w/ different personalities.

    I like it so much I shared it on Facebook just now.

  • Michael and Sarah Chardavoyne

    Great short and to the point read. I liked how you segued into some of the habits you both have that can grate on each others nerves into what our habits should always be. We’ve only been married two years now (anniversary is this month!) but we have faced challenges we didn’t expect. We live in a world of caregiver/care-give-ey situation. Suffice to say, we are around each other a lot! We may over amplify those annoyances at times, but when we truly spend time in unity with God beautiful things happen. We see each other like the puzzle you mention- separate pieces yet whole pieces at the same time. Thanks for blessing us with your read. 🙂