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5 Things that Can Weigh Down Your Marriage, and How to Combat Them

5 Things That Can Weigh Down Your Marriage and How to Combat Them

Today we’re onto chapter three in our book club for The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth. Today’s chapter is on the virtue of diligence. More info on the book club is found underneath the post. (View table of contents here.)


What is diligence? Is it persistence? Is it focus? Is it effort? Each and every time I come to the same conclusion that it’s all three working together. For me it’s faith-focused determination.

It’s the effort we put into nurturing our families because we know this brings glory to God. It’s the attention we give to our marriage as we bring ourselves into submission to His will. It’s turning our back on sin and our eyes upon Jesus. Everything we do is pointing to one thing–His will for our lives.

In The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife, I use the example from Acts chapter 27 of Paul’s voyage to Italy under the supervision of Julias the centurion. The story parallels the storms we go through in life, reminding us to cast off anything that is dragging us down. If you have time this week, I encourage you to read that chapter. Consider anything that might be standing in the way of your marriage or hindering your walk with the Lord.

Too often we don’t realize that our ship is sinking until passengers make their way to the life boats.

About fifteen years ago my husbands brother won $25,ooo from one of those scratch and win cards. I don’t remember the details all that well, but I do remember this: the night that he won, he slept with the ticket under his pillow. He had to wait until morning to take the ticket downtown to the lottery building, and he wasn’t taking any chances on losing the ticket or having it stolen.

It makes sense that someone would guard a treasure like that, I probably would too. What doesn’t make sense is when we don’t guard our marriage. Perhaps we don’t realize how quickly it can be taken away or how easily friendship can be lost when we don’t care for another the way that we should.

What weighs down a marriage, and what can we do to combat it? Of course there are many heavy weights out there, but let’s look at five that appear to be common:

1. Electronics – Television, cell phones, video games, and the internet can all be consuming. Enjoy them, but be careful that you don’t let them distract you from what is important.

2. Complacency – We’ve talked about this one before. Don’t take each other for granted.

3. Pride – Don’t let your pride destroy a good thing. Humility goes a lot further than winning an argument ever will.

4. Greed – It’s one thing to have dreams for your future, and to work together to reach them. What’s not so good is when we want riches so desperately that they become more important than our relationships. Strive for contentment.

5. Lust –  Whether we’re flirting, or sneaking a peek at things that we shouldn’t we’re being drawn away the Lord, not to mention that we’re disrespecting the holy covenant that marriage is based on. Appreciate your husband and respect him enough to draw boundaries.

Diligence is a virtue, and if we want to strengthen that virtue we must be persistent, courageous and focused. We have to be willing to turn away from the world and toss away anything that stands in the way of our faith or threatens our marriage.

You are loved by an Almighty God,


Let’s discuss chapter 4 on Friday!

What are some of the thoughts that you have on chapter three? What are your thoughts on diligence? Please leave a comment below! (subscribers click through to the blog)

Find out more about the book here. Feel free to jump in to the book club with us at anytime. If we’re a few chapters ahead of you–that’s okay because you can get to those anytime.

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Today’s Challenge:
Make your own list of things that might be distracting you from your walk with the Lord or putting a wedge in your marriage. Pray for courage, and take the necessary steps to put boundaries in place.

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  • Michelle

    Before reading this chapter I was still reeling from the lack of mission statement that we have 🙂 Now, going into this chapter about diligence I realize that we are both very distracted by so much on that list. One by One I am making a priority shift. I am excited to see the results!

  • marysheartisathome

    Many times when we see lovely brick building covered with ivy we don’t realize that that lovely plant may be undermining the brick. The little tendrils gradually work their way into the brick causing it to crumble. Many times it is not evil that distracts us but the fun, the pleasant, or even the good. The things that draw us away from God’s best are not necessarily bad. We allow the tendrils of activities to worm their way into our lives drawing us away from what is truly needful. We have time for hours on the computer but not for Quiet Time, caring for our family or our home.When we know and pursue God’s priorities for our lives, we can let go of the weapons of mass distraction in our lives and commit fully to what God has for us. A mission statement helps us define God’s best and to focus on what He has for today and each day in our life. Moment by moment –it may be work, or fun or rest but in line with His will and plan for our lives.

  • Melanie

    I also have found we have a few of those things on the list we need to address… In time, right now I’m so focused on a mission statement…

    The thing that spoke to me was diligence is faith-focused determination… I love this statement it’s a lot of work keeping sin out of a marriage. But being faith focused makes it easier because I believe the Lord carries us through the storm. When we are faced with it; he is always right there with us.

  • Donna Miller

    Well chapter by chapter I can see that I have been not doing so well in my Marriage from learning what a true virtuous person was now I know and making changings to the 2nd chapter a kind wife I have always thought of myself as kind but when reading do I give my husband the leftovers I realized that I was He got the seconds of everything in my life that is changing as well, then on to diligence man do I some focus I get all out of sorts I realize that now I have to be consistence in what I do. so Darlene you are kicking my butt and I love it helping me to a better wife is helping me to become a better friend and the walk with the Lord even better…..thank you Darlene and I cant wait for chapter 4

  • Angie

    It is so easy to lose focus on what is important. I get busy with teaching, making sure my kids get homework finished, traveling to and from sporting events,… And the list goes on. I feel too tired to get up and do my quiet time even though it is my favorite part of the day. My focus on God is gone and I get caught up in the rat race of life. I loved the part about keep on keeping on when the tough gets going. I can’t wait to sit down with my husband and create a mission statement. Thank you for a wonderful study.

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