I’m going to warn you that there’s a lot of scripture in this one! I’m in the mood to preach it today *wink* Scripture kept coming to mind, so I thought I’d share them with you. I hope you are blessed!

Running a facebook page of over 50,000 fans means that I’m going to get hundreds of opinions on what marriage should look like. As a result of that I often hear things that stem from a secular view. Thankfully there is a strong community of women out there who are stepping away from the “me” generation to seek God’s will for their marriage. But unfortunately there are also those who just don’t get why we’d ever want to live to “please our man” or why being ourselves isn’t simply enough.

Here’s the thing… if your primary goal is to please your husband, you’re missing the mark. Our goal is to live according to our created purpose which is that of being a help meet, thus bringing pleasure to God.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. – Genesis 2:18

The definition of a “help meet” is basically one who is ready and prepared for his use. There’s a much longer definition, but that could fill an entire post–and I’ve done it before.

Back to the topic… The world doesn’t revolve around us. Everything in it including our lives should revolve around pleasing God.

When we live in harmony with our husbands according to God’s plan for our marriage we are pleasing the Lord. And yes that will call us to exercise humility, forgiveness and grace.

My sister and I clearly remember our school days during the 70’s when we were bombarded with the message, “The most important person in the whole wide world is you.” In fact it was a little song that accompanied many of the videos they played for my classmates and I.

What they weren’t teaching us is this:

Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be like-minded  having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. – Philippians 2:2-4

Thankfully when we gave our lives to the Lord we understood that life was about more than merely pleasing ourselves, it was about living beyond ourselves so that God would be glorified through our lives.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. – Romans 12:1

With that in mind, let’s consider our marriage. As I’ve mentioned in many of my previous posts, marriage is a reflection of the covenant between Jesus Christ and the church. Are we presenting that covenant as one that is holy and acceptable unto God? In other words, what is our marriage saying to the world?

And if it calls for forgiveness and grace on our part, are we willing to be that living sacrifice?

We may very well feel that we are perfect just the way that we are, but God’s will for our lives is that we are continually growing in virtue:

And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. 2 Peter 1:5-7

We don’t create a life merely for the benefit of our husbands. Although we do love them to pieces and that is a good thing! We live a sacrificial life that is pleasing to the Lord and the fruit of that sacrifice is that we are a crown to our husbands. Fruit is the result, not the goal.

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4

What are the things that a successful marriage requires? What tips can we glean from scripture?

As much as some women prefer to avoid this fact, a successful marriage requires service and humility on our part. You’re not going to hear that said too often around the water cooler. Instead you’ll hear things like, “You have a right to be happy,” and “Follow your heart.”

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. ~ Colossians 3:13

• Be humble enough to let go of your need to be “right.” Seek for quick reconciliation rather than holding onto anger. With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; ~ Ephesians 4:2
• Make it your goal to show an interest in him. (I’m repeating this verse) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. ~ Philippans 2:3
• Live with an attitude of gratitude. Marriage can be tough at times, but appreciation trumps nagging any day of the week! In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
  ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18
• Pray often. There is more power in prayer than our mind could ever comprehend. Make prayer a part of your everyday life and take your marriage to the Lord. Pray without ceasing. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17

You are loved by an almighty God,

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