We wives can be such chatterboxes. And so often we try to use our words to show our husbands love and respect. Or to tell them just how crazy we still are about them.
Sadly, we also at times use our words to wound; a weapon to throw when we feel hurt or ignored or agitated. {Trust me, I know this!}
So let’s turn the tide. No words of anger or frustration. No, “You never!” and “Why can’t you?”
In fact, no words at all.
Here are five ways to show your man you love and respect him; that you are head-over-flip-flops in love with him {I’m not a big high heels wearer}
Try it. He’ll like it!
1. Do a good deed.
Has he been meaning to get down to the hardware store to buy a new ladder but just hasn’t had the time? Go do it for him. Leave it in the garage with a sticky note attached that says, “Thought I’d run an errand for you today. You go take a well-deserved nap.”
Is he in need of some new golf shirts? Go pick out two or three in his very best colors and leave them folded neatly on your bed. Place a note on top of them that tells him to go enjoy playing a round of golf in one of his new shirts.
Does your family vehicle need new license tags? You take care of doing it even though it is normally something he does.
Give A gift certificate to him to his favorite sporting goods or other such store. Put it on his steering wheel with a note attached telling him to swing by the store after he gets off work and treat himself to something he wouldn’t normally splurge on.
2. Do a dirty job.
Take out the trash. Wash and wax the car he drives. Sweep out the garage or rearrange the basement storage. Weed the flower bed. Mow the lawn or weed the garden. Tackle a job he normally does (but does NOT particularly enjoy} just to lighten his load.
3. Tell a tale.
Send him a text or e-mail or even a handwritten letter recalling a time he made you feel loved or secure or accepted. Be specific. Describe what he did and how it made you feel and then end your tale by telling him why he reminds you of Jesus. Is he patient? Accepting? Encouraging? Consistent? Loyal? Brave? A hard worker? A quiet tower of strength for your family? Tell him.
4. Give him loving’ from the oven {Or from his favorite eatery}
Make dinner one night with all of his favorite foods. What main dish does he love? Make it, even if it is complicated. Is there a particular salad or side dish he craves? Whip it up even if no one else cares for it. Don’t forget his best-loved dessert. If you want to go the extra mile contact his mother to get a recipe that he has a child. Or, if time is short and you can’t cook all of his favorites, instead give him a gift card to a restaurant he prefers even if it is nowhere you like to eat. Then, take the family out for dinner and watch him smile as he orders his meal.
5. Initiate a little ‘horizontal fellowship’.
One day {when he least expects it and there are no kiddos around} grab him from behind and guide him to the bedroom for a little ‘horizontal fellowship’. Don’t speak a word. Just make it a moment he will remember. This is sure to put a smile on his face!
Karen Ehman
www.KarenEhman.com
Becky says
Great tips! I especially appreciate #3. I think my “words of affirmation” craving husband would really like that. 🙂
Sonya says
This is a lovely article. But what do you do when he spends money when he shouldn’t? When he doesn’t take on any other responsibilities such as trash, paying bills, including car registration? When he doesn’t act like Jesus and isn’t the leader in the home? And when you do cook the meals he requests he decides to criticize it? Then what do you do? Sometimes it’s just not this easy.
Ashley says
Sonya – when we were going through a difficult time I was given this advice. I was very mad and resentful towards him. And we still aren’t all the way there. But, you are responsible for how you act as a wife, not how he acts as a husband. I would encourage you to pray that your heart would be softened and also that your husbands heart would be softened. I would also encourage you to still do each of these on the list. Hopefully you can win him over without words!
Sonya says
Thank you Ashley for your kind words. Mad and resentful, it’s like you know me. 🙂 you are right about being responsible for my own actions. I’m trying but it’s not easy. There’s way more to our story and I do try to focus on the good. I’m just not there yet. Praying for softened hearts most definitely. It’s a different season of our life I suppose. And I’m not sure what God is doing. But thank you so much for your encouragement.
Karen Ehman says
Sonya–
Thanks for sharing. Yes, this article isn’t geared toward advice for those in a difficult situation such as you described. What you asked would need advice from someone who knows you both and is a wise biblical counselor. I’m not that person but I will certainly pray for you and your marriage tonight. Do you belong to a supportive church?
Heather @ My Overflowing Cup says
Thanks so much for sharing this thoughtful post. it’s so important for us to invest time and effort into our marriages, but I like that these tips are relatively simple and adaptable.
Andrea says
I am not a married gal, but I enjoy marriage related articles for good godly insight as I continue to pray for my future husband. I follow your blog and am always encouraged by your words 🙂 thank you so much!
Petra says
Short and sweet and most welcomed, as we many a time need some advice in so many regards. Thank you and I will make use of them surely!
Kathy says
What do you do when he gives money to friend for a mission trip and you are not in agreement?
Sloan says
Kathy,
We as wives are commanded to honor our husbands, and our husbands are to be the leaders of our households. I don’t know the details of your situation, but if it’s the money you’re concerned about(or anything else, really), pray about it. Tell God that you’re trying to let your husband lead, and ask Him to show you the path He wants you to walk. If you’re worried about paying the bills, ask Him to provide. “What man is there among you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?”
As I said, I’m unaware of your reasons for your stance on the issue, but I will say that all of the absolute worst times in my life have been followed by the most amazing developments that have allowed me to grow both as a person, and as a child of God. I’m not perfect by any means. When something happens that I don’t like or understand, I try to remember to pray, something along the lines of, “God, I’m leaning on You right now. Please help me help my husband to walk closer to You, and please draw him closer to You.”
There are sooo many things I still need to learn and improve on, but that trust in God has ALWAYS gotten me through hard situations, if I just remember to stop and call on Him.
With love,
Sloan