5 Ways to Grow Closer as a Couple

Every day I asked my kids the same question, “How was your day?”

Every day I got the same answer, “Pretty good.” Until one day I broke the chain, stopped what I was doing and looked them straight in the eyes.

“Na-uh. I wan’t more from you.” I said, “I want details. Let’s try that again.”

After a giggle and smirk, I got a rundown of an extraordinarily average day. I like to hear about the little things. Maybe they don’t seem important to my kids, but I take pleasure in the lives of my children.

In the same way, I take pleasure in the life of my husband. I want to know about his day. I want to know about the ups and the downs. I want to know what made him laugh, and what stressed him out. I want to know this man intimately.

Asking how his day went, is just the first step. The second is listening to what’s on his heart.

Consider this… if you want to listen to his heart beat, two things are required of you. One is to be quiet, and the other is to be close.

Your closest friends are the ones you rely on. They are the ones you can trust with your heart. They’re the ones you run to when you need comfort and a word of encouragement. A close friend is a blessing.

And here’s the awesome part, husbands and wives have the opportunity to be closer than friends ever could be.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend is his wife. – Frank Schubert 

With this in mind, let’s look at five ways to grow closer as a couple:

1. Spend time talking every day without the interruption of a television.

2. Study the Bible together. I seriously can’t stress this enough. When a couple is single-minded in faith, they are naturally drawn together. And if you’re studying separately, discuss what you’re learning so that you can sharpen and spur each other on. Michael and I LOVE doing this! It’s fun.

3. Do stuff together like going for a walk or taking a drive. When you’re enjoying each others company, conversation will naturally flow.

4. Search for common interests. Are there any hobbies you can take on together? Acting, photography, public speaking, blogging, etc. This is a great way to develop a common bond.

5. Examine yourself. Ask yourself what YOU can do to improve your relationship. You might be wondering how this fits in. Let me explain. If you’re not feeling close to your husband, you might think he’s not doing his part. At least it would seem that way. Perhaps he’s not intimate,  maybe he’s distant, it might seem like he just doesn’t care…

All that could be true, but here’s the thing: you can’t fix your spouse. You can however trigger a change by your actions. 1 Peter 3:1 tells us that wives can win over their husbands without a word. Our behavior is a powerful force that’s too often overlooked.

With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. – Ephesians 4:2-3

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

Pick up a copy of my bookMessy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages.  *Amazon affiliate link. 

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