7 Ways to Grow In Your Role as a Wife – And an Exciting Announcement

7 Ways to Grow In Your Role as a Wife

Isn’t it funny how nothing ever seems to change from day to day, but when you look back on it all you see that everything’s changed?

Seems like I’m always being asked, “What’s new with you?”

And I always come back with the same dull response, “Not much, you?”

The fact is that everything’s new. My kids are growing, my husband’s maturing, and my dog has tripled in size this past year alone.

On that note, can we stop for a minute and rejoice in the fact that I’m not wearing mom jeans, jelly shoes, shoulder pads, and mile-high bangs?

Yes, even my closet has changed dramatically.

More important than fashion, however, is the fact that I’m growing, I’m maturing, and I’m developing my role as a wife.

It’s good to love your spouse “just the way they are,” but the best thing that we can do for ourselves and for each other is to support and encourage growth throughout the years.

Consider the words of Paul in Philippians 3:12, “Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.”

Jesus pursued us. Before we were even conceived and before we were placed in the warmth of  our mother’s womb He knew us by name. He loved us. He longed to call us His own.

What Paul illustrates here is a desire to grow in the grace of God, pursuing the One who loved Him.

Sitting down with a friend the other day, we got to talking about pursuit.

“Thirst doesn’t make me human,” I said. “I thirst because I am human.”

Pursuit is our response to the One who first pursued us. This thirst for God doesn’t make me a Christian. But I can tell you without a doubt that I thirst because I’m a Christian.

I long for growth, and I long for change that will further equip me in my role as a wife and a mother.

Our actions are a powerful force. In fact I believe they are stronger than our words could ever be. 1 Peter 3:1 says that unbelieving husbands can be won over without a word. It’s our lifestyle that makes all the difference.

With that said, let’s look at 7 ways to grow in your role as a wife:

1. Read the Bible. Blog posts, paperback books, and video sermons are not the Bible. They’re awesome–don’t get me wrong (and please don’t stop popping in here). But the Bible is jam packed with wisdom inspired by the Holy Spirit. There’s nothing like it. If you struggle with reading, you’re in good company. I failed grade 12 English and couldn’t get through an entire book until I was about 30. But once I started digging in and searching the scriptures it came alive to me. I’m nothing short of addicted to God.

2. Pray. You don’t have to get fancy. Jesus hung out with regular people, in fact He was often criticized for doing so. All of those “thees” and “thous” we read in scripture are just language translation. Talk to Him like you talk to a friend. Invite Him into your life throughout the day giving thanks, singing words of worship, and bringing your burdens to Him.

3. Listen. One of the best ways that you can grow in your role as a wife is to listen intently. James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” I’ve come to learn that listening is more than simply hearing a voice. A good listener finds a ways to hear the heart of another. They’re compassionate, they’re empathetic, and they’re full of grace.

4. Communicate. If you really want to grow in your role as a wife, communicate with your husband. Share your needs and listen to his.

5. Fellowship. Get connected with strong women of faith who have walked this road before you. Learn from them, pray with them, and glean wisdom from them.

6. Stay Balanced. Don’t let a hectic life pull you in a thousand different directions. Prioritize faith and family first, and be careful that you aren’t compromising either of those. A balanced life is the sign of a well grounded woman.

7. Walk in Virtue. Walking in virtue is a constant growing process. If we want to mature, then we must be willing to exercise those areas of our lives that need change. Exercise isn’t pleasant. Nobody wants their patience tried. Nobody wants to exercise self control when we’re angry. But in doing so we grow in virtue and strength.



Make sure that you pop in here tomorrow (Saturday) because I have an exciting announcement I want to share with you all. It’s taking everything I have to not blurt it out right here and now, but I’m taking my own advice and exercising a little patience here. So come back to the blog tomorrow and I’ll tell you all about it. There are a few things I’ll be sharing, so you won’t want to miss this one!


You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

Darlene’s an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of her life. She started Time-Warp Wife in 2010 out of a place of grace, with a passion to encourage women in their marriages.

She and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, they have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone’s babies, especially hers! Their lives are basically surrounded with three things: faith, music and everything books. She’s an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God.

Check out her newest book: The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife. Join the community of over 190,000 women on facebook. Send Darlene a tweet or two, and check out her boards on Pinterest.




  • Belinda

    I love this list of ways to grow – it’s a great checklist to use, both as an encouragement to see which areas I have been growing in, and as a reminder to work on those areas I haven’t! Thank you.
    PS Can’t wait for the big announcement!!

  • Momo

    Thank you for posting this! One thing I struggle with is fellowship. All the stong faith based women in my church are unmarried. None have known what it is like to have a husband. And then the women who are married arent very balanced nor are they strong in faith based on their character. Im a young wife and I would love to have a wise older woman to help me when I dont know what to do. What would you recomend?

    • Darlene Schacht

      I sent a letter to a woman that I wanted to get to know and asked her out for coffee. We weren’t close or anything, in fact she was from another church. But I knew that I needed that one on one fellowship, so I stepped out of my comfort zone and made a new friend. Keep your eyes open and don’t be afraid to approach someone.

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