I’ve had a few questions this week, and far more than a few over the years, which has brought me to the conclusion that there are a lot of hurting people out there.
There are more broken marriages than I ever imagined.
And people who desperately want to be rescued.
Each couple is different, and every marriage is unique, therefore the issues vary from person to person. How could I possibly help when I don’t have all the answers myself?
I’m a writer, but I’m not a wise counsellor. I listen. I think. I take in. And I write…
I open my email where I find long letters filled with sorrow and pain. I can’t turn away. I have to pray for you. I want to encourage you, but the words simply don’t come.
My heart is grieved. Where are the answers, Lord? What can I tell them?
What can I possibly say to a wife who’s been hurting for decades?
What is the answer to the question on everyone’s lips?
…HOW CAN I SAVE MY MARRIAGE?
Then gently He speaks like the coo of a dove. And I stop to listen.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” – James 1:5
And so I encourage you to pray fervently for that wisdom my friends. Cling to that promise, knowing that God will either give you that wisdom directly or He will send wise counsel into your life.
But there’s something else He wants us to know. It’s equally important that we adhere to these words as difficult as they might be at times,
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. – James 1:2-4
A difficult spouse can be one of the greatest trials we’ll ever endure. It can leave us feeling hopeless, discouraged, and drained. It can test our patience to the limit.
And James is saying to “count it all joy” when we’re tested? How?
Here’s the thing. The most important thing in this life must be our relationship with God.
John Piper describes faith as a muscle tissue, saying, “if you stress it to the limit, it gets stronger, not weaker.” And then he goes on to say, “God loves faith so much that he will test it to the breaking point so as to keep it pure and strong.”
If we idolize our marriage, nothing makes sense. But if we put God at the center of everything that we do, faith becomes so valuable to us that it’s worth going through fire to save it.
When marriage comes second to God, we find a fullness of joy unlike anything else.
We don’t have the power it takes to save a marriage. But we have an incredible opportunity to approach the One Who does. We have the ability to put every broken piece in the hands of our Savior, “Who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” (Ephesians 3:20)
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife
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