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An Open Letter to the Girl Who Will Marry My Son

Open Letter to the Girl Who Will Marry My Son

To the Girl Who Will Marry My Son,

I prayed for you today, and as I did, I got to wondering who you are. I wondered how and when you’ll capture the heart of my son. I wondered if we’ll be good friends.

I asked God to keep you safe in His hands. I asked Him to keep your heart and mind as you’re growing in grace.

My hope is that you are well cared for. I pray for those who are raising you. May God grant them with wisdom and understanding.

You are a treasure, created with purpose, knit together in wisdom, and loved by an almighty God. Don’t underestimate that worth.

Don’t judge yourself by a number on the scale, don’t measure your self according the perfection of Hollywood.

Your purity is of great value. Fiercely protect it. Don’t be deceived by those who blur the lines between lust and love, and pressure you into believing a lie. Love waits. When a man truly loves a woman he treats her with honor. He is willing to protect her purity, until the day they are wed.

A woman of virtue is of great value. And what is virtue? It’s doing the hard things because you know they are good. It’s making the right choice, when the going get’s tough. It’s choosing God’s will in lieu of your own.

Seek Him with all of your heart. Dig into His Word, and when you’re feeling discouraged dig deeper yet. Train yourself as a mighty warrior, knowing that one day you will stand in the gap for your children. One day you will ride beside your husband in battle fighting for all that is good. Be strong.

While you’re doing your part, I’m doing mine.

I’m training a young man to love you as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

I’m raising a boy who understands that great leaders are first and foremost servants of men.

I’m teaching my son what it means to honor and respect a young lady.

And by example, we’re leading the way.

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

You might also like, An Open Letter to the Boy Who Will Marry My Daughter

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24 Comments

  • Linda Larson Schlitz

    What a beautiful message and ministry Darlene!! I joined the JV group today and you were the first to pop up. Though I am presently in the midst of a launch for training professional counselors, social workers and employers my mission is to help everyone realize their purpose in God. I am gathering the many Christians here in Wisconsin and around the US to collaborate on many things and hope you can join us! I was going to post on your Titus Tuesday blog but got fixing up my website after seeing yours and it is a bit past midnight but I was going to post my “good grief” blog because it goes with your message for those who are grieving the loss of what they thought could have been….I put the link on my website url. Bless you!! Hope to JV soon!

  • Belinda

    What a beautiful prayer … thank you for sharing this! I was reminded/convicted to pray more for my son’s future wife – I did pray for her a lot when he was much younger, but I’ve sort-of forgotten about it as time has gone by. Thank you for reminding me how important this is!

  • Beth Price Almeida

    Just WOW! This is awesome! My son is only 21/2 months old but I think I will use this letter as a guide for prayers for his future wife. Do you have any suggestions for books on prayer for little boys? I have found a couple but they all begin when the sons are older.

  • Hailey

    Wow, I love this! As a young woman (I’m 20), I have often prayed for my future husband, for God to give him favor, and to stay pure, etc. But I’ve never thought that maybe someone was praying for me. That is really awesome! Your future DIL is a blessed woman! You have encouraged me through this post, thank you!

  • amanda Julian

    I’ll admit, I cried reading this. We’re expecting our first child in August, it’s a boy. From my experience, and having a MIL who has never appreciated me, and looks at me as nothing but a mistake her son made… I cannot value this prayer enough. I didn’t grow up with much of a mother, and I’ve always worried about what kind of mother and MIL I would end up being… This prayer gives me the motivation I need to leave a much better legacy than I’ve seen my whole life. Thank you for all you do, and keep these wonderful blogs coming. 🙂

  • Lisa

    What an amazing prayer for your future daughter(s)-in-love. I’ve been praying for my future daughter-in-love and her parents since my son was very young. I also have a daughter, and I’ve been praying for my future son-in-love and his parents since she was very young, too. I firmly believe that the Lord will answer these prayers for our children’s future spouses. Thank you for sharing your heart! I was blessed today!

  • Emily

    Thank you for these “open letters” you’ve been posting. I’m 15 years old, and I’ve been praying and waiting (sometimes not so patiently!) for my future husband. I am trying to let God mold me into what He wills, and lead me, so in time I will become the wife my future husband is praying for. These letters give me hope and encouragement, and remind me to have patience, and embrace peace. Thank you again. 🙂
    -E x.

  • Sharon

    That was sweet and somehow encouraging! I was expecting the equivalent of a father with a shotgun and lots of warnings. Thank you for sharing.

  • TaNeisha

    This was absolutely beautiful. My son is 16. I’m raising him in the Lord; Praying daily for him. Never thought to pray for his future wife. This has enlightened me. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

  • Steve

    My warped sense of Humor must be plating with me when I read your letter.. All I Thought of was joke?
    When GOD asked Adam what he wanted Adam thought about it ….. And then replied. I want a Woman! Who will be my mate. She will honor and respect me. She will be by my side though good times and bad times. She will love me as I love the lord ……. The lord thought and replied to Adam Yes I will give that to you and more than you’ve ever dreamed of. The Lord further replied that he would put them in abundance for him to pic in all corners of the world………. Adam thanked the Lord, and then he made the world Round !

  • Chris

    Thank you for your letter. I don’t mean to stir up any controversy, but as a single woman with single friends who have never been married, I tell all of my married with children friends to please say “IF” you get married, to their children. Although writing a letter to a future spouse is lovely, I would also hope that you could write an equally lovely letter to your son in the future if he happens to never marry. With so many pressures from the media and people in general to GET MARRIED, it sure does put a lot of pressure on our kids. This in turn can cause them to marry for wrong reasons or to feel like they are not worthy or good enough because they are not married. Thanks for considering this angle as well. We can be complete in Christ without a spouse by our side.

  • Jodi

    The prayers started that God grant my child a God-fearing wife when the morning sickness started. Thank you for sharing!

  • Jodi

    Praying for a God-fearing spouse and friends for my child began very early in my pregnancies. It is the building block on which we run our family.

  • Connie

    While this is indeed a very lovely letter, it did not consider the fact that your son may meet and marry someone who isn’t “pure,” who hasn’t lived a life worthy of your standards, and who hasn’t been perfect, but may be perfect for him. There are times when God brings a person to marry someone who isn’t considered by Christian standards “worthy,” and my hope for you is that you are able to still accept her the way your son and Christ have. There are many wonderful wives who have had colorful pasts. While I understand God’s calling for purity, it seems to me that it’s about time we hold that standard to both boys and girls, not just girls. I’m reminded of the some of the song lyrics by Jennifer Knapp, Hold Me Now:

    Let he without sin
    Cast the first stone if you will
    To say that my bride isn’t worth
    Half the blood that I’ve spilled

    Point your finger and laugh if you choose
    To say My beloved is borrowed and used
    She is strong enough to stand in my love

    May my son have the same attitude of Christ toward all women, not just the “worthy” ones.

    • Kristi

      If the wife that your son chooses has what you refer to as a “colorful past,” but is a Christian, then it has been covered by the blood of Christ and she is pure. I do not believe that Darlene meant that his son’s wife should live a sinless life, but it is godly to pray for our sons’ future wives to remain pure and that they do themselves, as young men. This prayer is a beautiful example of Philippians 4:4-9.

  • Shannon Hopper

    That was absolutely beautiful and has inspired me to start praying for my daughter’s future husband. I already pray for her as a wife and mother as well as her future children but I need to take time daily and pray for her future husband as well. Thank you for this post.

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