Great marriages don’t happen by accident, they’re built by two people who give of themselves day after day.
Some of the best building blocks in a marriage are patience, love, and respect. But there are so many more. In The Virtuous Life series we talked about valuing others and serving them from a heart of humility. Some days building comes easy and other days it takes down-on-our-knees heart-wrenching prayer as we lift our marriage up to the Lord. But every day is a chance to grow closer together.
Two of the most important elements in any marriage are bonding and unity. God didn’t create woman from the dust of the earth, but rather took her out of the man that they might one day return to that state of union.
The two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh – Mark 10:8
There’s an emphasis in our society for personal growth, and I love it as much as the next person. In fact I think I’m a self help junkie some days! I love to read books that teach me something and motivate me to grow spiritually and physically. The problem however is that while there’s a lot of emphasis on feeling great, being happy, working out, and pleasing me, myself, and I–there’s little emphasis placed on others.
I desire to grow, but more than anything I desire to grow together as a couple who is focused on Christ.
Are you building your relationship, or has it grown stale? Are you growing together, or are you growing apart? Here are ten questions you can ask yourself.
- Do you pray for your marriage often?
- Do you cherish your spouse? Does he know that you cherish him?
- Do you spend time together away from distractions? This doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as reading a book together in the bedroom or kitchen.
- Do you do things for each other that lighten the load of every day life?
- Do you spend time talking?
- Are you affectionate with each other? And if your husband isn’t the affectionate type are you practicing his love language?
- Do you make an effort to show each other honor and respect?
- Have you let go of the past to work on the future? Or are you hanging on to anger and hurt?
- Do you build each other up with your words or tear each other down?
- Do you treat him like he’s your best friend or a roommate you have little time for? Living together gets comfortable and that’s great, but don’t get too comfortable that you forget where you came from. Michael and I started out as best friends and I want our marriage to end that way too.
You are loved by an almighty God,