Loving My husband Can Change The World

Loving My Husband Can Change the World

It was late. The quiet sounds of night fell around me as I sat on my patio in the dark, my fingers poised over my laptop keyboard. Tears streamed down my face as my mind raced and I whispered a fierce prayer.

“God, where are you in this? I feel so helpless! What can I do?”

I was pleading with God to show me how I fit in with all that was happening in the Middle East. I was desperate to help in some way, but feeling inadequate to really make a difference. I wanted to be physically involved somehow, more actively being the hands and feet of Jesus.

But there I sat, thousands of miles away on the patio of my suburban home. My husband and children were sleeping soundly upstairs and my dog laid comfortably at my feet. The air conditioner kicked on and off and the breeze blew my hair as the stars twinkled above me. It was a beautiful summer evening and I was riddled with guilt because of it.

My first inclination in times of distress and persecution is to snap into action. I want to be a part of fixing the situation and in helping those involved. In this case, innocent children were being killed among the hundreds losing their lives because of their Christian faith. I sat feeling both relieved and guilty that I was in the Land of the Free enjoying my {what many would call} safe and lavish lifestyle.

Feeling resigned to “only” being able to offer prayer and fasting, I set about it and asked some friends to join me. But something was missing.

It wasn’t until the next day that God brought to mind a conversation He and I have had before (not audibly, but as something He has pressed on my heart.) I am right where God wants me to be. It’s not an accident that I am located where I am. While I may feel like my best use is in the Middle East right now, the truth is that God has a purpose for me right where I am.

I will never be able to fix the problems in the world all by myself. I may not even be on the front-lines of “big” issues. The reality is, though, that according to Jeremiah 29:11, God has a plan for all of us. Psalm 139:13 and Jeremiah 1:5 say He knit us together in our mother’s womb and that God had us set apart even before He knit us together in our mother’s womb. When we look at those verses, we see that God has a special plan for each of us; a blueprint for our lives to accomplish His purpose. Surely, His blueprint doesn’t include happenstance and unimportant portions of our lives.

So what does all that have to do with my husband?

It was while God and I were having that conversation that it became clear to me that I can’t fix the world. What I can do is minister to those in my sphere. My husband is my first priority and my most important ministry on this Earth. Whether I stay home or work outside of the home, I have an obligation and a responsibility to love and honor him. My actions affect him. As I love and honor my husband, I am showing him the love of Jesus and better equipping him to do the same for others in his sphere. As I follow my ministry to love my husband, I am building him up so that he can honor God in the ministries God has called him to.

Likewise, as I pour into my husband, I am also pouring into my children and displaying for them the love of Christ. They are seeing a living example of God’s love. As they watch, they learn how to love and serve others, continuing the cycle. In doing these things, I am contributing to those on the front-lines, albeit from a distance. Who’s to say that my greatest contribution to God, while seemingly mundane or ordinary, can’t lead to the person who is on the front-lines? Loving my husband, and being prepared to be an example of Christ right where I am right now is how I change the world by loving my husband. I am not helpless when I reach out to God in prayer and ask for wisdom, strength, and perseverance to minister right where I am.

Mandy Pagano


Mandy PaganoMandy is a work-from-home wife and mom of 6 children ages 2-9 yrs. She and her husband Joe live in the Pittsburgh, PA area where they homeschool their 3 oldest. In addition, she acts as the coordinator for her local MOPS chapter and teaches preschoolers in Sunday School at her church. Mandy has felt a calling to the ministry of women– and moms in particular– since she started blogging in 2009 at www.SuburbanStereotype.com and later in 2012, with five other women, as the founder of www.DeliberateWomen.org, and she also contributes to www.FruitfulFamiles.com. The sense of community she discovered when joining the “mommy blogging” world was amazing and she envisions creating that same sense of community and acceptance in her writing and during speaking opportunities. Mandy feels that now is the time to step forward boldly in faith and demonstrate a life of love and purpose– and how that looks in everyday life as a wife and mom. It is her goal to be real and transparent–and break the cycle of Christians hiding their struggles so that they will look the part of ‘good Christians’– and allow others to see her imperfect life so that they will gain encouragement and acceptance for their own.

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  • Lindsey

    Wow this is a wonderful reminder! I might print this just to remind myself when I feel so useless during something that it might be God’s plan things are the way they are! Focus where you are on what you can do.

  • Stefanie @ CalledHis.com

    What a beautiful post, Mandy! It’s truly inspiring to see the heart and compassion you have for others. Wow. I am totally humbled.

    It’s amazing how God shows us so much once we learn to listen. 🙂 something I struggle with myself is knowing my purpose.

    Loving your husband can move mountains. I don’t care what the world says on that one!

  • Bonnie Smith

    Thank you for these thought provoking words. I too have been struggling with my place in all of this chaos. It brings me back to the first calling i have as a child of God and re-anchors me again to Christ in the knowledge that He has a purpose and a plan. I am right where He wants me to be for this season. Thank you for reminding me of the ways that i can still be an impact even far away from trouble.

  • Leticia Justus

    Such an awesome reminder of what our calling as a wife is – ” helpmeet ” . It’s so easy to forget !
    Often outside things of the world , our town and our church can take the place of our husband and family . Thank you for pulling us back and helping us remember what our focus should be .
    leticia from King Maker blog ( new subscriber 🙂

  • Julie Ann Filter

    Have you ever heard about the imagery of the waterfall effect? When we prioritize our own relationships with Yahweh, He pours into us and fills our souls to overflowing. Since our next priority is our husbands, when we are filled to overflowing in our relationship with G-d, we naturally have an overflow that pours into our relationships with them. And the next tier of priority is the children, so once the marital tier is full to overflowing it also naturally cascades into a pouring of blessing onto the children. After that, external ministry of all kinds. I have adored this imagery, especially when remembering the proper order of priority at home. In the same manner, though, when we lose touch with ensuring a constant stream of being poured into by our loving Abba, we will also stop pouring into our husbands and then our kids (interesting how the marriage will begin to deviate and break down before the kids, no?) I was thinking about this imagery the entire time I read this. Just something so simple as leading the small life that G-d puts before each of us can surely make some huge waves when we look with an eternal mindset. Thanks again for the reminder!

  • Joy

    This post really blessed and encouraged me in so many ways! I’ve had similar thoughts of helplessness lately, wondering what I can do to change the world, and coming to the same conclusion. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Mandy!

  • Amy

    As still a newly wed, well wife as of 8ish months, and a nursing student, it is so easy to get caught up in my studies and everything that comes with the nursing program and forget to really show love to my husband. This article brought that to my mind, such a great remider! Thank you!