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Have you ever snapped at someone?  I have. I remember one particular time about three decades ago. She was a complete stranger on the bus, and for some reason I decided that I wasn’t putting up with her side glance that day. And so, as I got off of the bus I said something nasty to her. It was totally out of character, and I still regret it to this day. 

So it is with others. Sometimes the nicest people show their ugliest side. Sometimes they’re having a bad day, sometimes they’re overtired, and other times you just hit a nerve. 

But here’s the thing, although we can’t control the actions of others, we can and should control our reaction to ensure it’s inline with God’s will. 

So, what is the best way to answer someone who’s rude, angry, or impolite? With a soft word. 

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1, NIV)

Think of it this way, if someone throws a ball against a hard wall, it’s going to bounce back to them. When it does they have the opportunity to throw that ball again and again. The moment they throw that ball at a soft surface, however, it absorbs the impact and the ball is no longer in play. 

The Bible is telling us here to absorb the impact of unkindness. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about physical abuse here, I’m taking about rude and impolite people who get under our skin, try our patience, and make us feel small. 

Remember how we read in Job 31:1 that he made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman? In a similar way I’ve made a covenant with my tongue, to reign it in when I’m angry, and to go to prayer when I’m feeling discouraged. 

What might that look like, for me? A soft word, a smile, and a moment in prayer to soften my heart.


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Tilling the Soil

Make a covenant with your tongue to speak kindly and gently to others. Diffuse arguments with a soft word, and to go to prayer when you’re feeling the urge to say something you shouldn’t.

Planting Hope

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1, NIV)


Darlene Schacht

Darlene Schacht and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada where the summers are beautiful and the winters are cold. Together they’ve come to learn that relationships aren’t always easy, but that marriage, the way God intended it to be, is a treasure worth fighting for.

She began her publishing journey about twelve years ago when she pioneered one of the first online magazines for Christian women, known at the time as “Christian Women Online Magazine.” After three years, Darlene left CWO to blog as a solo author at Time-Warp Wife Ministries.

It was also during this transition that she worked alongside actress Candace Cameron Bure to write the NYT Best-Selling book, Reshaping it All: Motivation for Spiritual and Physical FitnessReshaping it All was the winner of both the 2011 USA Best Book Awards and the 2012 Christian Reading Retailers Choice Awards.

Author of more than 15 books, Darlene continues to write and to minister to her readers through her blog at TimeWarpWife.com.

Connect with Darlene:

Facebook: @timewarpwife
Instagram: @timewarpwife
Pinterest: @timewarpwife
Twitter: @timewarpwife

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife