My husband and I got to talking about what it means to build up your home and your marriage today, when I was reminded of a comment I got a while back from one of my readers. She wrote,
Not that I don’t agree with all you are doing and writing, I agree completely. It’s just that I’m too tired and too exhausted to try and care anymore. I bought the Good Wife’s Guide, loved it, tried, read all the other books out there like you would not believe, and got the same messages over and over and over… and nothing changed at all in my marriage. I did develop a better rapport with my children, and that’s been great. But I have no interest at all in my marriage… I’m sorry to be the voice of cynicism, but I am a tired, worn out, overexhausted wife who has had it. At this point I don’t even want my marriage to get better; I want it to stay just the way it is, where I’ll leave him alone and he leaves me alone.
When I read her words, I knew she wasn’t alone. We’ve all felt that way from time to time, if not with our marriage then with a friendship, a co-worker or relative. Sometimes it feels like we’re the only one putting anything into the relationship, and the fact is that sometimes we are.
One thing I try to stress is that you can’t look to others for your reward. If we look at the example of Jesus who washed the feet of His disciples just hours before His death we see agape love in action.
Jesus knew very well that one disciple would sell Him out that very night. He also knew that another one would deny him. But still He demonstrated love in the most humble way possible by washing their feet.
As long as we’re in this world, we’ll always be disappointed. People will never measure up to perfection, and most won’t even measure up to our ideal. That’s why it’s important that we keep our eyes on the One Who rewards those who love selflessly.
Our purpose isn’t found in a 50/50 relationship, it’s found in those quiet moments when no one but God sees the work of your hands.
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Tilling the Soil
Read John 13:1-17.
In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good. (Ecclesiastes 11:6, KJV)
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Darlene Schacht and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada where the summers are beautiful and the winters are cold. Together they’ve come to learn that relationships aren’t always easy, but that marriage, the way God intended it to be, is a treasure worth fighting for.
She began her publishing journey about twelve years ago when she pioneered one of the first online magazines for Christian women, known at the time as “Christian Women Online Magazine.” After three years, Darlene left CWO to blog as a solo author at Time-Warp Wife Ministries.
It was also during this transition that she worked alongside actress Candace Cameron Bure to write the NYT Best-Selling book, Reshaping it All: Motivation for Spiritual and Physical Fitness. Reshaping it All was the winner of both the 2011 USA Best Book Awards and the 2012 Christian Reading Retailers Choice Awards.
Author of more than 15 books, Darlene continues to write and to minister to her readers through her blog at TimeWarpWife.com.
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You are loved by an almighty God,
The Time-Warp Wife