Just like you and daddy.
That’s the kind of marriage she says she’s always wanted. She wants to love, to laugh, and to hold on the way he and I do.
And here she is. Our daughter has grown up and is a young woman herself – being courted by a fine young man.
So now it seems each day I’ve got some thoughts on love and loving that I want to share with her. Suddenly it feels more urgent to pack in all I’ve ever wanted for her to know.
But I found myself a bit hesitant to share what was on my heart on this particular day. She sensed it and pressed me, “What, Mama? What is it?”
I answered slowly and carefully. “I just think…you should be aware that someday, at some point, he is going to say or do something that’s going to disappoint you. Maybe hurt your feelings. Or let you down.”
She looked up at me strangely. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Well, I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but I think you should be prepared for the eventuality that he will disappoint you. And when that happens, I hope you’ll remember our conversation today.
Because if you’re not ready? It might just throw you off. Confuse you. Possibly make you wonder if you’re really meant for each other after all.”
I felt her lean into me and I wrapped my arms around her. For a brief moment she was my little girl again, but only for an instant. Then this lovely woman beside me asked, “But what…what if we were really, really determined to love each other. Like you and dad. Then that wouldn’t happen, would it?”
“Oh, but that’s just it, my Sweet One. If you’re really, really determined to love one another, then you’ll both be able to walk through it and you’ll be okay. You’ll be able to forgive him. Much. As you’ve been forgiven. You’ll understand that he’s just a man – a good man, to be sure – but a man who’ll make mistakes from time to time.
And he’ll need grace.
From you. The last person in the world he’d ever want to hurt or disappoint.
He’ll need to know that you’ll lovingly bear with him.
Because, Dear Girl, these men of ours? They need that kind of love from us. Your daddy needs that kind of love (so does your mama, for that matter).”
Bearing with one another is one of those hidden qualities of true love. One that you might not see at first, but will become increasingly clear as the years go on.
Yet this kind of love – forbearing love – is also much more beautiful than it might first appear.
So, yes, I want our daughter to have the kind of love her daddy and I enjoy. I want her to know loving, laughing, and holding on. Holding on to each other – not to perfection or performance – but to real people who’ll make mistakes from time to time. Who choose to love each other all the same.
Bearing with one another.
In love.
The Vow: To lovingly bear with you
Today’s Challenge: To remember how much he needs you to extend grace to him when he makes mistakes, hurts your feelings, or lets you down.
Bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2)
In His grace,
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.
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