Titus 2 gives us a checklist of seven good things that older women in the church are to pass along to the younger women in the church. The first in this list of things to learn is to “love their husbands.”
Most of us would say we love our husbands. We DID marry them, after all.
But can you say that you actually LIKE your husband? Do you consider your husband your best friend? Do you actually like spending time with him?
In this verse, the greek word translated “love their husbands” is philandros which means a “loving friend and companion.” It is a friendship love.
Friendship love is something that we have to nurture. It is so easy to slip into “service” love with our husband instead of practicing friendship love. We wash, cook, clean… and cook some more. Although these are good things, they don’t substitute for a friendship with your man.
So, what does friendship love with your man look like in daily life? Here are ten suggestions!
- Be his biggest cheerleader. Have you ever thought about that fact that you are called to encourage and build up your husband? Well, actually the call is for you to encourage the saints and to edify the body, but as my mother always used to say, “Charity begins at home.”
- Check in with him during the day just to say “hi.”
- Kiss him when he comes home just because your glad to see him.
- Call him to tell him “exciting news” before you call your girl friends.
- Serve up his favorite foods with a smile. Someone once quipped “Macaroni and cheese served with a smile tastes better than when served with a scowl.”
- Schedule time to be alone with him doing the things that you both enjoy. (shopping, sports, dinner dates, errands, walking on the beach, etc… ) And be careful not to overbook your schedule so that he ends up with the scraps of your time! Make him your priority!
- Plan a “stay at home” date. Make his favorite snacks, put the kids to bed and plan to relax and talk or whatever else you find fun.
- Praise him publicly, even to your mother. 🙂 He’ll pretend he didn’t notice, but he will. Telling your mother about all wonderful things your husband does for your family (vs. calling home crying! :)) will validate him in his own heart and show him you respect him.
- Thank him for all he does for you and the kids. Don’t fall for the TV propaganda that men can do nothing right! Most men work hard to support their family. They mow the lawn and fix things around the house. You could praise him for those things or for his kind heart or generous nature towards others. Open your eyes if you are struggling to see all of the good your husband does.
- Be “all there” when he is home. This is hard when the kids are up, but listen when he speaks and show an interest in what he has to say.
As women, and especially women with children at home, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, and never really enjoy our guy as a companion and friend. (Similarly, I think we tend to have the same tendency in our relationship with God. We think service equates to love. Serving God=Loving God.)
When you live out the priorities of Titus 2, the Bible says that your good example helps to promote the good news of Jesus Christ and ensures that the gospel is not maligned and slandered.
Look for ONE new way today to show your husband that you LIKE being married to him! This will look different for each of you because each of our husbands are different. With a little bit of creativity and prayer, you can rekindle any lost feeling in the friendship area. Also, you may need to put some of your other relationships on hold until your friendship with your husband is real and vibrant!
Sarah Beals’ has three favorite mottos: “Grace is for sinners,” “It is all of grace,” and “Grace will lead me home.” That pretty much sums up her past, present and future. She and Peter have been married for 20 years and have five children, ages 8 through 18. She enjoys spending time with her family, reading, watercolor, coffee and writing at www.joyfilleddays.wordpress.com