But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Cor. 11:3
This verse, along with a few others, prove to us wives that our husbands are to be our, “Fearless Leaders.” We go through a process of coming to Christ and learning our role as wives. If it were laid out in a 5 step program it might look something like this:
- Learning our roles as wives
- Reverence for our husband
- Submission to our husband
- Letting our husband lead in everything
It’s interesting how the enemy uses the same lie on each of us, and I’m going to guess that at some point, each of us have believed one or both. When we learn that we wives are to “submit in everything to [our] husbands,” (Ephesians 5:24) this is the lie we hear:
“You will be a doormat. Surely God didn’t say, ‘in everything.'”
But when we come to the point that we reject that lie, and we truly want to be that joyful, submissive wife, “in everything,” it’s then that we hear the other lie:
“You surely are an amazing woman of the Lord. Just look at yourself, submitting to that wishy-washy man of yours. He really isn’t much of a leader, is he? He doesn’t even read the Bible to the family, and when he does he doesn’t do it right. You need to take control here, for your family’s sake.”
We must recognize this deception as just that, deception.
For Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 1 Timothy 2:14
Once we see the lie, we can overcome. We can be the godly, encouraging wife. And we can actually assist our husbands in their call to lead our families. A major road block for our husbands not taking leadership as we had hoped they would lies with us.
Yes, us. We wives can actually hinder our husband’s progress in this area.
In order to encourage our husbands to lead, we.must.let.them.lead.in.everything.
We need to let our guys take the lead.
If wives were to step back and actually let the men lead, after a while, they would. It may take years, long long years. But it is not only essential, it is commanded.
Here are a few of the most common complaints, with my suggestions in parenthesis:
- “My husband won’t lead us in Bible reading.” (He may try again if he knows you won’t correct him.)
- “My husband won’t make any decisions, he can’t even decide where to go on vacation.” (That’s ok too, if he doesn’t pick some place, he has chosen to stay home.)
- “My husband just doesn’t care to lead, he’s too busy with work.” (Pray for him!! Continue to follow any lead he does take, and be supportive.)
Wives play such an important role here, and many don’t realize it. Men desire their wives to be true help meets. They need our encouragement!! Be his cheerleader! They need our respect too. We make it difficult for them to be the godly leaders if we are often critizing them to our friends or family.
And ladies, I’ve just got to say it, they need us alone! We must make time for our husbands without the children around. Not always just in an intimate, physical way, but to just be with them, talking, spending time together.
Here’s a little story I’d like to share:
Several years ago we had a fish tank with 1 single male guppie. He was the fancy kind. And boy was he pretty!! After a week or so, we decided to get a few females as we knew they would breed and thought it would be a good science experiment.
You should have seen Mr. Guppie when we dropped in those females!! He would swim past with his fins fanned out and upright. And just as he got within cenemeters of her he would flutter those fins! It was a sight to behold.
He would do this for hours on end! And she would act as if she didn’t even see him!! Oh, I felt so bad for that little fish sometimes! But when he saw just a spark of interest from her, just a hint that maybe she noticed him, then watch-out-world because that little guppy looked like he was ready to take on anything! Just for her!
In the world of guppies he wanted to be her fearless leader. In the world of people, husbands do want to lead their wives, and they would do so joyfully, if only we would cooperate.
My challenge for you today is to practice letting your husband lead, start with the little things!
Jennifer is the cherished wife of a visionary man, and a homeschooling mother to almost a dozen children. Her deepest desire is to consistently love her husband and children, and to be a diligent and joyful keeper at home, for the glory of God. Her favorite past-time is to encourage fellow housewives in their highest calling of wife and mother. When she’s not creating Homemaking DVDs, she can be found blogging at Renewing Housewives. She also has a newly released ebook, Encouraging Challenges.
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