High Tides.
That was the name of the restaurant. I can even remember what I ordered that night: Scallops Provencal. Cooked in butter, garlic, lemon, white wine…but I’d better stop there. Fresh seafood is considered something of a specialty here in the Pacific Northwest and High Tides Grill is known for some of the best.
So my husband and I were very willing to meet our longtime friends there for dinner. We all enjoyed a lovely evening together – good food and good fun. Both friends have a terrific sense of humor and my sides ached by the end of our time with them.
Still laughing as we climbed into the car to go home, I noticed my husband was unusually quiet. So I asked him, “Tired, Honey?”
No, that wasn’t it.
Then it occurred to me. “Are you upset?”
He didn’t answer, but my instincts told me yes.
“Oh,” I add sympathetically. “Did John say something that bothered you?” (Might be he was rather funny, but he could be offensive at times too).
No, that wasn’t it either.
Hmmm…thought about it for a minute or so.
“It’s not ME, is it? Did I do something??”
My mind mentally raced through the entire evening, trying to think of what I could have said or done to have offended him. I drew a blank.
But after asking a few questions, we began discussing it. In all our joking around that night, we got to teasing my husband about one of his quirky characteristics. It was all in fun and friendship, mind you.
Or so I thought.
But my husband – the Man I Love – didn’t appreciate this kind of humor. Not one bit. In particular, he didn’t appreciate my participation in it.
Please understand, it was never my intention to hurt him. Or dishonor him.
But that was what I’d done. Both of those. And I felt simply terrible for having done so. It was so wrong and so the opposite of what I truly thought about him.
Something of a low-tide moment in our marriage.
I asked his forgiveness, of course, and he gave it. But I decided then and there that I never wanted to do anything like that again.
My husband needs to know that he can count on me to always speak well of him in front of others. That he didn’t have to be concerned about “what I’d say next” to other people. That I’d never again look for that little laugh – at his expense.
That he could trust me.
Because I have my husband’s heart. It’s in my hands and not to be treated lightly or carelessly. Like I did that night. No. He needs to know that his heart is safe with me.
Sometimes, as wives, we can forget that his heart is in our keeping. We have this incredible privilege to look after him – in public, as well as in private – and that’s something to take quite seriously.
My Love, you can trust me to speak highly of you around other people.
And, yes, it’s high tide again for this marriage.
Today’s Vow: To speak well of you in front of others
The Challenge: Look after your husband’s heart, particularly by looking after his honor in public settings.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her (Proverbs 31:11a).
In His grace,
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.
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