Marriage,  Ultimate Marriage Vow

Protect Your Spouses Reputation

Protect His Reputation

It was grade twelve. I had a job as a telemarketer for a steam cleaning company, and I was at the top of the world.

Sort of.

“Hi, this is Darlene from World-Wide Carpet Cleaning. I’m calling to let you know about a half-price carpet-cleaning special. That’s where we’ll clean your living room, dining room and hall, for only $39.95…”

The secret was to get as much of our spiel out without interruption, finally closing with, “We have an opening on Monday afternoon, can we do it then?”

My friend Lisi and I were two of their best employees. She was a blue-haired punk rocker, with the tallest Mohawk in town, and I was preppy in pink. We were opposite in so many ways, but one thing we had in common is that we cleaned up pretty good when it came to commission. Cha-ching!

Things were clicking along until I hit a wall. It was exam time, I was working five shifts a week, and I had some dating to do. Something had to give.

I didn’t expect to start crying, but once I sat down across from the boss I just couldn’t stop. It wasn’t that I wanted to quit the job, I just knew it was time to hang up my phone and get some studying done.

Oh and dating–I wanted that too.

Walking out of there I felt like a million bucks. I was blown away by her kindness and the fact that she had just shared a box of tissues with me. They didn’t want me to quit.

We decided that I’d take some time off until I was ready to come back to work. How nice was that?

Not very. 

A few days later Lisi called me up to tell me a funny story. The boss, had been imitating me at work and told everyone about our private conversation, tissues and all. Apparently it was hilarious. Not.

It’s one thing to talk to someone about problems that you’re having if your intention is to bring healing to the situation. It’s a completely different matter when we talk about someone for sport.

When it comes to my marriage, I can act in one of two ways. I can either run and tell others about Michael’s bad habits or I can protect his reputation by keeping the details where they belong. Between he and I.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. ~ Ephesians 4:29
What I find really interesting about that verse is the fact that it ministers grace to the one who hears it. 
Certainly we minister grace to our husbands when we speak well of them, but the listener too? Absolutely. When I’m kind and considerate of my husband I’m a witness that I’ll also be kind and considerate to you.

Seeking the counsel of a friend from a place of compassion with a desire to heal is different than sitting around the table gossiping about our husband’s faults with other wives, or slandering our husbands because of the pain we’ve endured.

This is important to remember when it comes to the big trials we face, but it’s also important to practice the same level of compassion when it comes to the trivial things that get under our skin.

We’re all human.

Fault-finders are every bit as human as those they condemn and every bit as guilty of sin. Just because you’re walking high today, that doesn’t mean you won’t fall tomorrow. And if you do fall into a pit of sin, you’ll be looking for redemption and grace to pull you back out.

It is the glory of God to conceal a thing:
but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

~ Proverbs 25:2

Today’s Vow: To Protect Your Reputation

The Challenge: Whether you’re talking to your friends, your family, or your children, protect your husband’s reputation by being careful with the words that you choose.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht

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