How to Deep-Clean Your Marriage


I went down to my laundry room the other day, and after pushing my way through the door I said to myself, this mountain of laundry–it has to be a direct result of the curse.

And then I got to thinking about Adam and Even and how they didn’t wear clothes before they tasted the apple. It was only after sin entered the world that laundry was heaped upon them.

I think about Gideon’s family. We’re told in Judges that he had seventy sons, which makes for a lot of laundry regardless of how many wives the man had.

It’s never ending isn’t it? That and dishes. My sister once told me that a happy woman is one whose dishes and laundry are done, and she has a good point.

Just one month ago I was all caught up. The laundry was finished, it was folded, and all put away. Then I went on vacation with my daughter for four days. FOUR DAYS is all it took to get back out of control. Then Christmas happened, then major renovations, and… well… it’s not pretty let me tell you. I’ll be doing laundry until the cows come home every day this week.

Looking back on the years I see a lot of similarities here. Love isn’t something we can fold up nicely and place into a drawer for safe keeping. It’s something we put on every single day, and the reality is that we mess it up all the time. Impatience, resentment, and pride have a way of working themselves into our marriage. The easy thing to do is to sit back and hope that our dirty laundry washes itself, but the right thing to do is to purify our hearts in obedience to God’s word and continue to purify our hearts every day.

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. – 2 Corinthians 7:1

Someone once asked me, If God is forgiving, why can’t I just sin today and ask for forgiveness tomorrow? 

Choosing to follow your sin puts you in a dangerous place where Satan has a foothold in your marriage. If we allow resentment to grow, it will grow, and if we allow our hearts to harden toward the one that we love it will become calloused over time.

Most importantly, the goal of each and every one of us should be that of bringing glory to God both today and every day of our lives.

Want to deep-clean your marriage? Walk in love, forgiving one another as Christ forgave us. Exercise kind, compassionate love that’s seasoned with grace.

And for the stains–even the deepest ones that have lingered for years? Take them to prayer, for there’s nothing our God cannot do!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht


  • Selena Campbell

    Hi Darlene,

    My youngest daughter was sick all night, and today I am doing tons of laundry–piles that happened over the weekend, along with piles from last night–and I agree, laundry has to be from the curse.

    Great comparison to marriage. It would be nice to not have to maintain our relationship, but just like it wouldn’t be fun not to wear our nice clothes in order to keep from washing them, a superficial relationship isn’t very enjoyable.

    I appreciate your encouragement! Praying your reno is going well. 🙂


  • Lori Alexander

    A good response to someone wondering why they can’t sin if they are easily forgiven is Romans 6:1,2…”What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. {These are the strongest words in the whole Bible!}. How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer therein?”

    Since learning to walk in love and forgiveness with my husband, I have experienced the tremendous blessings of a strong and happy marriage.

  • Elissa P

    Hi Darlene

    Yes, like everything else in our life, our marriages need to be visited and clean daily. A lot of times we hold on to thing from a year away or even as far back as 5 years again. Going to God with our bad feelings and resentment is the best thing we can do as wives for our husbands.

    As you pointed out the only way to deep-clean our marriages is to walk in love and show compassion with grace and love.

    Peace and blessings.

  • Little Wife

    Oh man, I needed this post today. I thought I had laundry all under control, and then my darling husband came home. I know he’s a maintenance guy and that means stains and such, but seriously? How do you make 3 stocking caps dirty in one day? =)

    On the bright side, we just got a new dishwasher (!!!!!) so it really does feel like the dishes are doing themselves!

  • jam

    Thank you for the post! I needed this today. I have been working on my marriage more the last few days even. I do have stains; and just need to love, forgive, and offer the same grace that has been offered me.