We’re continuing our Women Living Well series today. The topic this week is finding joy in your marriage. Come back next week to be encouraged in your role as a parent. (For more details on the series click here).
If I am being honest, the first time I learned about the concept of being a “help meet” I was not too impressed. Bare in mind that I was a newly saved 22-year-old woman attending a liberal university. I grew up in a home where my step-dad and mother were very physically violent towards one another and verbally abusive as well. And the abuse didn’t end towards one another, it extended down to both my younger brother and I. I am sure you can imagine the type of mindset that I had about marriage – it was very much tainted by my circumstances and the ideology of the world.
Needless to say, I was not the little girl who dreamed about her beautiful white dress and wedding day. No, I was actually against marriage with every fiber of my being. So against it that I swore that I would never marry. But God had a different plan.
Enter into my life Jesus.
Jesus showed me a way of living that I never knew existed. He showed me forgiveness, unconditional love, mercy, and patience. He told me that He would love me and care for me regardless of the mistakes I’d make. He taught me that He had planted a tiny seed of marriage in my heart that one day, as I learned to trust in Him, would become full bloom.
And so it began.
Jesus began to minister to my heart about two simple words that would transform me to the core of my soul: help meet. He would take me on a very intense journey that consisted of healing from my past and erasing the ideals that the world had given me about marriage and replacing them with the very reason He called me to the union of marriage: to become one with my husband and serve alongside him as a help meet. And He showed me that it was an absolute honor.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. ~Genesis 2:24
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. ~Genesis 2:18
In her book, Women Living Well, Courtney said:
Here’s an important point: you were not created to be a helper to all men. (pg 58)
This is one of the things that the Lord began to show me as he corrected my attitude towards being a help meet. The Lord began to show me that I was created to be a helper to one man, my husband. I was not to be a helper to any other man, just my future husband. And that gave me great comfort and peace as Jesus was preparing my heart for marriage.
For me, my heart was transformed quickly from a woman who didn’t want to be married into a woman with a biblical mindset of being a helper to one husband. My family and friends were shocked about my change of heart. Many of them asked me how I came to this acceptance so quickly since I was such an independent and self-sufficient woman. My reply was (and still is): God’s grace and the renewing of my mind.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2)
If you, dear sister, are struggling with understanding the honor it is to be a help meet to your future or existing husband, the quickest way to come to a place of enjoyment about it is by the Word of God. Make it a habit (with no exceptions) to read scriptures that correlate with the honor of being a help meet. Make it your priority to speak God’s Word out loud as you pray meditate on it. Write the word down so you can read it and see it over and over again to help build your faith in this area.
God promises us in His word that He will deliver us from the mindset of this world so we can clearly be directed into His perfect will. Does this mean it will be a perfect path? No. Does it mean that we won’t have issues on our journey of understanding the honor of becoming a help meet? No. But it certainly guarantees that we don’t have to do it alone. God will be with us every step of the way. That brings me such comfort knowing that my faithful Savior created me to help the very man that He created to love me – my husband.
Fifteen years into my marriage and I can tell you that I am honored to be a helper alongside my husband. Although I still struggle from time-to-time in my flesh, I can say without any doubt that I was created to be a help meet to my husband. I adore Him and am thankful to God that He chose me to hold the honor of standing by his side as we walk life together doing our best to honor the Lord.
Let me leave you with a prayer:
God, I come to you in the precious name of Jesus, asking you to help me and my fellow sisters in Christ to understand and humbly walk out our roles as help meet to our husband. I pray Lord that where we fail, you will show yourself strong. I ask you Lord to give us wisdom where we lack it and help us to stand firm in our convictions as Christian wives to seek your face daily. Give us what we need to carry out the mission you’ve set before us, oh Lord. We believe that you are faithful to perform you Word and are excited to receive from you. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen!
Be encouraged dear sisters to go and walk out the honor that God has given you to be a help meet!
Carlie Kercheval is a happily married work-at-home homeschooling mom. She and her college sweetheart have been blessed with 3 precious children to raise while traveling the world as a military family. Carlie is the founder of Today’s Frugal Mom™ and Managing Your Blessings. She and her husband co-author Learning to Speak Life™ Family Devotional and co-host the Learning to Speak Life™ Podcast. They also founded Fulfilling Your Vows together to promote biblical marriage. You can connect with her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
Click the image above to join our Women Living Well book club on Facebook.
Pick up a copy of Women Living Well at Amazon