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If I Could Go Back… If We Could Do it All Over Again… I’d Change One Thing

I'd change one thing...

If you’re anything like Michael and I your wedding vows were beautiful. Sometimes I wonder if I was too distracted by the excitement of it all to realize just how wonderful they were. A promise to love, honor, and cherish each other. To laugh with him, to cry with him, and to take his hand in friendship. For better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.

Words don’t get much sweeter than those, do they?

But if I could go back… if we could do it all over again… I’d change one thing. I’d add one vow. I’d make a promise that would have changed the course of our marriage.

That promise is this. I solemnly swear to keep you in prayer each and every day of our lives as we surrender our marriage to God.

Prayer is the most powerful force we can bring to our marriage, it’s the greatest gift we can give to our spouse, and it’s by far the best way to stay centered–Christ centered.

The heart of every marriage is unity.

‘And the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.. – Mark 10:8 NIV

It’s important to understand unity and to see the beauty of one flesh. We came from one body that we might again be that one body in a spiritual sense.

Marriage is a life-long process of growing together as one. But in the same way that a wound might be painful at times when a rib is removed, so will it be when the rib has returned.

Although unity is a beautiful thing, it’s not always easy growing together as one. Prayer must be an ever present part of marriage if we hope to grow together as one, or more importantly to grow together in Christ.

We all have days when we feel like we’re pulled in a hundred directions–when we feel the sting of the rib. I can tell you from experience that it’s a lot easier to be selfish than it is to sacrifice for the good of my marriage.

But here’s the thing–God doesn’t call us to walk the easy road, He calls us to take up our cross and follow Him because He knows the joy and peace that comes to those who walk in obedience.

God is more than your ally. The Psalmist refers to Him as, “our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1. Do you know what that says to me? That when we call upon the Lord, He doesn’t simply show up for the rescue. He’s already here.

Prayer is the most powerful force we can bring to our marriage, it’s the greatest gift we can give to our spouse. Don’t let this treasure slip from your grasp.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

Pick up a copy of my book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages.

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5 Comments

  • Nombuyiselo

    This was specifically written for me to read today. Its amazing how God works, I follow your blogs and I am in South Africa and there is never a day where I feel like your blogs don’t make sense. Indeed marriage is of God and Gods word makes the most sense wherever you are.

    Stay Blessed.
    Your South African Sisters in Christ

  • Dorene Stewart

    This touched me deeply since my husband and I have been struggling with our marriage. I am 45 years old and became disabled this last year and a half and it has been really tough for us. We are both Believers in Jesus Christ as our Savior. But, due to my illness, my loss of my nursing job, loss of my college, and my ability to function outside of the home, we were real close to a divorce. We have been prayerfully trying to rebuild what God has blessed us with, but there are some really tough days since I am not the strong energetic person that I once was. I now use a four wheel walker and have to be very careful not to fall. Already broke a toe and had emergency surgery. The one thing I have found is that prayer works. God’s answer may not be yes but HE does answer. This is my time of respite and I have had to accept it. I am very thankful for the reminder of our vows for we said the same ones in front of God, our friends and family. But, as you have made it quite clear, we need prayer every day of our lives for each other……Today was not a good day for us. My husband made some financial errors and I have been angry. I even told him I was mad and I needed to forgive him. Your words reminded me that I made a vow to love, honor and cherish. Good and bad. Thank you for taking the time to honor God with the wisdom that he gives you. I am very thankful and I see now that God has all of this in HIS hands and I just have to trust HIM. I am going to keep praying for him every day and not let the enemy take our JOY away. Thank you again In Christ precious name…
    Dorene Stewart

  • Renee

    I needed to see this. I know that prayer is so important to our marriage and I need to pray every single day for my husband. But I am so bad about not taking the moment to intentionally pray for him. I am working on improving this.