It’s not that I mean to brag.
But I am something of an expert.
I suppose it’s because I’ve been dedicated to the subject for a good 20 years now. So apparently this qualifies me as The Expert.
I never thought of it like that until I recently listened to this one woman give a very popular TED-talk. She’s a famous researcher and described her 10 years of seriously studying her topic. And evidently that made her an authority. She has written several books on the subject and everyone acknowledges her as the one who-knows-the-most.
That’s when I had my “aha” moment.
Well, what d’ya know…I’m an expert too. Except that I’ve studied my subject for twice that long.
Yes, I’ve studied that man of mine for over two decades.
I can’t tell you everything I know, of course. That would take too long and be too intimate to talk about here. But I can give you a sampling of my vast knowledge:
- He drinks his coffee black and prefers the cup to be heated up first.
- He generally gets a little grumpy when we eat dinner past 7pm. He doesn’t care what he eats, as long as it’s served with love and care, and he’s happy to help out in the kitchen.
- He’s an early riser and likes me to go to bed at night the same time as him.
- He’s passionate about the local church and has a heart for the lonely and left-out. He gets choked up when he hears of a young person turning his life around.
- He loves being a dad and always has time for his kids.
- And he’s crazy about me. (Hope that doesn’t disqualify me as his researcher?)
Now if you’re wondering, Doesn’t this lady have anything else to think about? Yeah, I do. Tons. To be perfectly honest, I’m a very busy lady.
But I’ve made it my business to know this man.
How about you? Are you an expert on your husband?
If not, then here are some of my best research techniques:
- Observe his habits. What kinds of things does he like to do and when does he like to do it? What are his favorite foods and what does he find fascinating? What brings him joy and what brings him down?
- Ask him questions. Find out what he’s thinking. See if he’ll share any of his childhood memories, his favorite moments or maybe his private fears. Gently and respectfully ask all about him. Then simply listen.
- Spend as much time as possible with him. A good researcher spends gobs of time with her subject.
- Accept him for who he is. As he is right now. Put aside all those changes you’d like to see and instead try to understand the man that he is today. A true researcher wants first and foremost to discover everything she can about her study.
- Always be making new discoveries. You might be surprised how much you’ve yet to learn about him. Thoughts he’s not shared with anyone else. Personal concerns he’s never mentioned before. Dreams you never knew he had.
I’m not sure why no one has yet approached me to do a TED-talk on what it’s like to be married to Matt Jacobson (too bad! that’d be fun), but I’d like to think I’d be ready if they did. I wouldn’t have any trouble filling up my 18 minutes with all the amazing things I’ve learned about my husband over the years.
After all, I am the expert.
How about you? What are some of your favorite discoveries? Or fun facts about him?
(Positive things only, please)
In His grace,
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