I’m Not a Perfect Wife, But I am Perfected by Grace

Are you ready to celebrate summer? Me too! And I have just the way to do it. Grab a good book and head outside for a little R&R. Michael and I like to take road trips with the kids, and while he drives I can usually get through a good book, which is why I try to pick up one or two for vacation each year.

To kick off this summer, I’ve gotten together with a few author friends to bring you a new series called, Summer Marriage Splash. Each one of these women have written incredible marriage books, and they also write encouraging blogs.

Club31 Women, Women Living Well, Unveiled WifeAshleigh Slater and myself have teamed up for a week-long series. Each day a different blogger will offer you encouragement for marriage and then pass the virtual baton to the next author who will be posting the day after.

Monday: The First 5 Steps Toward a Loving Marriage from Lisa Jacobson at Club 31 Women
Tuesday: I’m Not a Perfect Wife, But I am Perfected by Grace from Darlene Schacht at Time-Warp Wife
Wednesday: How to Banish Bitterness in Marriage from Courtney Joseph at Women Living Well
Thursday: Drawing Closer To God & Your Husband When The World Says DON’T! from Jennifer Smith at Unveiled Wife
Friday: 4 Ways to Practice Patience in Your Marriage from Ashleigh Slater

Since today is my turn, I’ve decided to share an excerpt from my book, The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife. I hope you enjoy it, and most of all, I hope you’re refreshed!

I’m Not a Perfect Wife, but I am Perfected by Grace

I'm Perfected by Grace

The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, “I was wrong.” – Sydney J. Harris

Some days I look around and can’t help but think that I don’t measure up. Don’t we all? I’m not a hockey mom, a trophy wife, Martha Stewart, or Beth Moore. I’m just me. I don’t run marathons, knit hats, bake well, or scrapbook. I read.

Barely five feet tall, I look up to other women in more ways than one. I still have this feeling that if they divided the women in my neighborhood into two teams I’d be the last one picked. I’m not the life of the party. I’m the introvert that struggles to socialize while others throw their heads back in laughter and chit-chat with ease.

I’m a star at Pinterest fails. I have one crooked arm. And I wake up with the wildest hair that needs to be tamed.

Insecurity—it’s a lie that Satan wants us to believe. We aren’t perfect and he’s sure to point that out to us every single day. He’ll never show us our importance because in doing so we wouldn’t realize how important we are to God.

If we hope to live in victory, we must keep our eyes off of the world and on the One who perfects us through grace.

Moses didn’t think he could be used by God because he wasn’t eloquent enough. And when God called Gideon to save Israel from the Midianites his reply was, “Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? Behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” (Judges 6:15)

How many times are we held back because we’re not good enough either? How many days are we discouraged because we don’t realize the extent of God’s grace?

I’m not a perfect wife, but I cling to the verse in Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.”

With joy I’m reminded that I’d rather be a crown than a trophy wife, and that I’d rather have virtue than vogue.

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. – Proverbs 31:10

You’re so much more than just another pretty face; you’re deeply loved by a God Who numbers your hair. The same God who painted spots on ladybugs’ backs, and lights up our skies with fireflies created you, redeemed you, and knows you by name.

Have you surrendered your life to the Lord? Here’s merely a glimpse of who we become through His grace:

A friend:
Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
– John 15:15

His children:
But as many as received him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.
– John 1:12

Joint heirs with Christ:
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
– Romans 8:17

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
– Galatians 5:1

In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
– Ephesians 1:7

A New Creation:
So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away–look, what is new has come.
– 2 Corinthians 5:17

Seated with Christ:
[He] hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: – Ephesians 2:6

And the list goes on…

Seriously–does any of this compare to a bad day, or what people might think about you?

Do people point out your flaws, your mistakes, or your past?

Who you were can never compare to who you are in Christ.

You were bought, you were purchased, you were redeemed, you were set free, and you–yes YOU are loved by an almighty God!

This post is the second of the Summer Marriage Splash series going on all this week. Please be sure and check out Courtney’s post tomorrow (Wednesday) at Women Living Well. Also, you can see who’s coming up by peaking at the authors of the books below.

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

This post is in participation with:

Summer Marriage Splash

Summer Marriage Splash Book Recommendations:


Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

“I came away from the book with practical tips to loving my family better, making my home a haven and strengthening my relationship with Christ.” ~ Amazon review

WomenLivingWell: Finding Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home




Wife After God by Jennifer SmithWife After God by Jennifer Smith

“Whether you are going through a rough patch in your marriage (like we all do!) or your marriage is doing wonderfully, there is something in here to encourage, challenge you and help you improve your marriage and your walk with The Lord.” ~ Amazon review

Unveiled Wife: Encouraging Wives Daily




Team US by Ashleigh SlaterTeam US: Marriage Together by Ashleigh Slater

“Team Us is a lighthearted, encouraging read with a poignant message: marriage is one of the greatest adventures God gives us in this life. Make the most of it!” ~ Amazon review

AshleighSlater: Encouraging Couples to do Marriage Together




200429208-001100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

“This is a “must have” little book for every married woman or yet to be married woman! It comprises 100 practical little thoughts, well laid out and each one profound and challenging in its own way.” ~ Amazon review

Club31Women: Sharing a Passion for Husband, Home and Family
The Virtuous LifeThe Virtuous Life of a Christ Centered Wife by Darlene Schacht

“Powerful, is right. This is such an encouraging and challenging book for any wife to pick up – whether she’s newly married or been married for many years.” ~ Amazon review

Time-WarpWife: Keeping Christ at the Center of Marriage





  • Brenda Montgomery

    I really needed this today. I have always felt insecure around everyone I’m not the life of the party either. In some ways you and I are a lot alike. Thank you for sharing. Think I need to read my book again.

  • Heather @ My Overflowing Cup

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. I just wrote yesterday about this same subject (Grace, Not Perfection). It’s an important message that we need to encourage one another with. When we understand our value and worth in Christ, we will be much less concerned with the way others see us. Thank you, again, for sharing this!

  • Lisa Stillman

    Thank you for sharing this and especially for all of the Scripture that you used. I’ve often felt like I’m not enough, and it’s good to be reminded of God’s view.
    I have to wonder though if Satan doesn’t tempt some by telling them just how great they are if pride tended to trip them up easily. Any thoughts?

  • Leslie

    Darlene, thank you so much for (being real!) writing from your own experiences of insecurity. More than ever, I have battled with this very issue over the past year. There’s nothing like becoming a new mom that will knock you off your little pedestal! (Lol) I guess I’m in an excellent place for God to really shape me. I just need to grasp my true identity in Him, and hold it close to my heart! Btw, I really appreciate your ministry for marriages. You’ve blessed me on a number of occasions!