Marriage

June-Cleaver Fever – When Did Serving Our Families Go Out of Style?

June-Cleaver Fever - When Did Serving Our Families Go Out of Style?

Loving your husband? Going out of your way to show him how much?

“This is all well and good, if you’re from the 1950s.” At least that’s what they say.

When Michael comes home from work I like to have dinner ready for him. Something he likes. I’ll take a few extra minutes to pull my hair up into a bouncy ponytail, and put on one of my prettiest aprons. If I’m so inclined, I might put on a bit of makeup–nothing much, maybe a touch of mascara, a little blush, and some lip gloss.

I tidy up the house and try to have all of my chores done by the time he arrives. It’s my way of showing him that I care for our home and I care about us.

Sometimes I’ll get a little sappy and run my fingers through his hair or cuddle up with him on the recliner. Another way of showing him how much I care.

“This is all well and good, if you’re from the 1950s.” That’s what they like to say.

The real question however is, what does the Bible say?

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. – Titus 2:3-5

When did loving others and making an effort to please them go out of style?

Earlier this evening my husband and I hosted our Bible study group. By the time our company arrived at 7pm the house was clean, the tea was hot, and the brownies were cut into squares.

Little did they know that I had spent the afternoon vacuuming, sweeping and scrubbing the toilet. They also didn’t know that I had pulled my hair up into a bouncy ponytail just minutes before they arrived. Did they need to know? Not really, all that was important to me was that they felt welcome in our home.

We’re so used to impressing others in our society. But when it comes to impressing our husbands people are suddenly taken aback. Surely we must have “June Cleaver Fever.”

Romans 12:2 instructs Christians saying, “Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Some people take that to the extreme thinking that we have to dress differently. And yes, we might have to dress differently if our clothing isn’t pleasing to God. But the heart of the message is this: we are to dress and to act in a way that conforms to God’s will, whether this social system considers it normal or not. We cannot let pop culture dictate the way that we live or the way that we love.

Whether you’re from the 50s or living in 2015, God’s instructions for marriage are every bit as wise as they always have been. That’s what I like to say.

That’s all for tonight, ladies. I’ve got a husband to cuddle!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

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14 Comments

  • Susan Platt

    Darlene,
    Although there are SO many interesting and valuable things to read on the internet your site is such an encouragement to me and many others! I continue coming back to it again and again.

    I love your heart for the Lord, your husband , and family!

    I am also passionate about encouraging women to embrace their role as wife and mother. I have a new blog: themodernmayflower.wordpress.com Would you consider reading it (and sharing it if you find it is worth sharing)?

    Thanks you so much for working for the Kingdom 🙂

    Susan 🙂

  • Melissa

    Better question may be “when did husbands stop being a husband”? I would love to serve my family and feel guilty every day for having to work 50 hours a week to provide for my sons. I would love to have a husband that provided so I could be June! You are truly blessed to be so fortunate to be the type wife/mother that you have praised. Please be more considerate to those of us that are not as fortunate as you. The guilt we experience on a daily basis is enough. I’m too busy paying a mortgage and working my butt off to be pony tail perky for guests.

    • Darlene Schacht

      Because a wife is serving her family, it doesn’t excuse a man from serving too. Men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. In addition to that, someone who works to clean their home is serving as much as someone working to pay for it. I think you assume that I’m suggesting there’s a cookie cutter image we should squeeze into, which isn’t the case. It’s about loving and serving in the best way we can.

      The heart of the post is about serving your family. It sounds to me like you are serving your sons which is pretty awesome whether you’re wearing a ponytail or you wear your hair down.

  • Kim

    I don’t know who the “they” you’re hearing are, but I know many, many people who love their husbands and go out of their way to show it yet wish to do so their own way. The fifties were severely oppressive to women and those who are homemakers today should be so by choice, not based on societal pressure to be a “June”. Mysogyny and women “staying in their place” is what has gone out of style, not loving someone or going out of the way to show it.

    • Heather

      I’m sorry Kim but I think you missed the point. “They” are the people saying that working at home and serving our families is a bad thing and that we should want to work a 9-5 job away from the home instead. I grew up with 2 working parents. My mother had a very successful career and I looked up to her and I have no issues with her choice. I always thought I would follow in her foot steps and even came very close to joining the military. However my feelings changed when I got married and not because my husband or anyone else told me I had to. I would work 40 hours a week and then come home and cook dinner for him. Not because he couldn’t or even expected it of me, but because I wanted to . I realized later that acts of service is my love language. I still worked until I was pregnant with my second child then we decided I would stay home because it was cheaper then paying for child care. That was 5 years and 2 kids ago and I love staying home and taking care of my family. “They” don’t always understand that choice and that’s what the author is saying. She’s not shaming anyone for choosing to “work” but rather praising those that choose to stand up and say they are proud of not working outside the home.

  • Sheryl Eubanks

    In June of this year, my husband and I will celebrate 50 years of marriage. I can say without reservation…AMEN! When two people begin to be more interested in pleasing themself more
    than pleasing their spouse, trouble is not far behind.

  • Melissa

    Thank you for this article. I’d always thought that I had to work. That was the way I was taught growing up, to strive for a two-income household, to have more stuff.

    Well, I found myself with two young sons I didn’t know, a husband I barely saw, and a huge house that wasn’t a home. God intervened. My sitter had an anxiety attack.

    We decided to sell the huge house and keep me home. Nothing’s perfect still. I’m working through ingrained insecurities and societal norms. But I feel like it’s been best for MY family.

    I think your post is something to strive for. Not necessarily the makeup and ponytail. (I’ve rarely worn makeup and I have short hair…ha ha because HE likes it that way! So I guess I have that part down honestly.)

    Being that helpmeet as God created us to be is my goal. I’m still in the race, praise God!!

  • Deb

    It is wonderful for you ladies who have a husband who honestly truly loves God and loves you and wants to cuddle and appreciates what you do to make your house a home and a comfy, homey, very livable home.
    There are ladies like me who are married to a man who does not appreciate much of anything I do and who does not wish to cuddle. All he is interested in is the bedroom sexual experience.
    I have tried to do all that is in this article. I have tried to please him and he made sure he would not be pleased.
    I think I have pleased God. I do live what the Bible says.
    My husband and I will be married 27 long years this year and to be honest, we should have been divorced a long time ago.

  • A Working Mom

    I would like ya’ll to pray for me…I have been a single working mom for 10 years and never had any support from my ex…so I was the financial, and emotional support…I got married last year to a wonderful man…He is everything I prayed for in a husband and I am still in awe of him and God everyday. He has a great job and retirement income from the military. We have discussed me taking off work to finish raising my 10 year old and have discussed the possibility of homeschooling…I also have the opportunity to work some on my own from my home and earn some money…I feel like this is the direction the Lord wants me to go but I am so scared to give up my job, even though they did just cut hours and the long term is up in the air..(I work for a govt agency) It is a great mommy job with great benefits, lots of paid days off and no weekends…My husband has good benefits though…We both have some debt from before we were married, nothing major, less than 12,000.00 and I would like to pay that off first, we both feel led of God for me to put in my notice and focus on my family and the Lord, I feel such a call to prayer lately, so I am praying for confirmation and my husband is supportive on whatever decision I make, but I know he does love it when I have a day off and he comes home to a clean house, homemade supper, and there is no chaos and rush rush because I have been gone all day…So please pray for me to have wisdom, discernment, and faith…Thanks ya’ll..

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