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The Most Loving Thing I’ve Done for Our Family

lovingthing1

So I’m really into this Mom Thing.

Like, really.

You might say I’m downright crazy about our kids. All eight of them. And they’ll happily confirm that fact. Mom’s a little nutsy when it comes to her kids.

I think about them. Pray for them. Make time for them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Love on them.

Yep. Definitely a bit nutsy. Much like you with your kids.

In fact, I love my kids so much that I’m willing to sweep them aside.

When their dad walks through that door.

They all know the drill. When Daddy returns home, everyone moves over to clear a path for what’s about to take place. As there’s surely going to be some huggin’ and kissin’ going on, so it’s best to find something else to do if you don’t want to watch the inevitable.

Oooh! Dad’s here.

And there goes mama . . . .

Because even though I love our children – crazy about them, really – my husband is first in my heart.

It’s funny, but somehow our children don’t mind so much. They’re good with taking second place. They don’t feel rejected or denied (I actually think they kinda like it). Some giggle and others groan, yet overall they’re rather pleased with the way things are between him and me.

It means a lot to them when Dad and Mom love on each other. If they see us kiss, talk kindly, and laugh together? Then it’s as though we’re not only speaking love to each other, we’re speaking love to them too.

When Mama stops everything she’s doing to welcome Dad home? When she wraps her arms around his neck and smiles up at his face? When she makes caring for him her top priority? It’s showing our kids that there’s a lot of love in this home – love that can’t help but overflow down to the rest of them.

When Dad and Mom Love Each Other it . . .

Provides a warm, caring atmosphere in the home. This sets the tone for the entire family. It lightens up everyone’s heart to see two people loving each other.

Gives the young ones a sense of peace. All is well with dad and mom, so all must be well with the world. They can be confident in our strong and committed relationship.

Encourages the older ones to look forward to marriage someday. Our example is an inspiration to them. And I’d much prefer they look to us, rather than Hollywood movies, for what marriage is really all about.

Turns our home into a lovely place to be. This means our children want to hang out there more, as well as their friends. There’s some magnetic quality about a loving relationship – it draws people together. Young people want to be around love wherever they can.

So you’re crazy about your kids? A little nutsy? Yeah, me too.

But no matter how caught up with your children you might be, don’t leave out being crazy-in-love with their daddy too.

Because loving him is one of the most loving things a mom can do.

Lisa Jacobson,  Club31Women

Lisa Bio PicLisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew L. Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.

Check out their books –  100 Ways To Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson.

Visit Lisa at her website, and find her on facebook.

17 Comments

  • Tracy @ OurSimpleLifeSC

    I read this and it gave me goose bumps! I have been teaching my grown girls this concept for years now that they have families of their own. After God your husband needs to be your first concern and if he is happy and feels loved your marriage will always stay strong! Thanks you for this wonderful post!

  • K-a

    Wonderful article! Love the idea of loving the kids by loving the husband 🙂 But what to do when he walks in and out about 5-10 times a day? When he comes home when I’m nursing the baby, when I had no idea he was in, and now he’s heading out again? I really LOVE the idea of dropping everything. greeting him with a hug and a kiss. For our 1rst 3 years, he had a go-away job, left in the morning and came homein time for dinner … I LOVED that, it gave me time to fill up the kids with lovin, tidy the home, have a shower and be pretty for him, I was sooo ready to see him and did drop it all and made a big deal of Daddy home. Now, with the new job and crazy hours, even after all these years, I really struggle with this.He sees teh house at its worse, gets frustrated when its messy and there are dishes around, when the kids are arguing, i even tried to homeschool for a while, but he kept interrupting (sometimes i would stop t greet him and sometimes i tried not to, but he ususally wants some interaction) and i wouldn’t get stuff done…. now th ekids are in school cause he didnt like watching it all unfold and wanted a quiet home (we have 7 kids). So please help – what is the suggestion for these situations? How many times do I drop everything? sometimes he doesn’t even want to talk, just breeze in and out again. I love this man, just not sure how to show that with this idea (which i think is great!)

  • Samantha

    This is so so true, there are so many women that push there husband aside for their kids. Wow you truly inspire me. 🙂

  • Michelle

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I have had this all backwards since my boys were born. I’ve put them above my husband. Now that they’re teenagers, I see the value of showing them that marriage is so important because one day soon, they will be married. This blog has given me a new perspective. Now, I have some hard work to do.

  • sabrina

    Awwwww…thank you for this wonderful reminder of how a wife is supposed to be with her husband. I’m pinning this! 🙂

  • Sarah Coleman

    Love, love, love, love, love this! Thank you for sharing wisdom. Yes, children feel love when I love on my husband. It is so reassuring to know that mum and dad love each other. There is no better way to build love in the family than to love each other. I’m sharing this with others!

  • Jamie

    This is such a great reminder! You truly inspire me Lisa! I did this in our earlier years of marriage, and now 4 children later I tend to expect him to find me in the house wherever I may be, to hug me. I have always loved the idea of greeting and leaving each other with a hug and a kiss, and this reminded me how important this one little gesture can make such a huge difference! Thank you for sharing and reminding me of ways to make my husband feel like my next priority after God!!

  • Heather @ My Overflowing Cup

    I love, love, love this post! That’s the way it works in our home, too. (Except that dad works from home). Our kids not only don’t mind, but they love seeing their parents in love. I think it is so important to model this to our children because the world certainly isn’t going to. Thank you for the reminder!

  • crystal

    Thank you for this article! I am a Mother of 5, and have been married for 16 years this August 1. I totally agree, kids need to see parents enjoying eachother. It truly sets the foundation (in their minds) of what a healthy relationship is. We went to a Focus on the family weekend seminar on our 7th year of marriage. It was a time in our marriage we were struggling so much. We had opened alot of doors, and the enemy came running in! We had to totally restructure our way we communicated with eachother, and it worked!!!

  • Amy

    This sounds wonderful but in our second marriage with step-children we are very loving towards each other but we put our children’s needs first. We show them what a loving relationship looks like but our children were in our lives before we were in each others. My ex puts his wife first and spends more time with her than with them. The children are very resentful. What are your thoughts?

  • MoparToYa

    Proof that healthy children with deep values are a result of a mother & father — ONE man and ONE woman for strength and love.

  • Rachel

    The hard thing is when you truly believe this but your husband isn’t on board. I would love nothing more than to jump up and offer myself to my husband. He pushes me away, literally. He isn’t very touchy feely. I am. He wants to be left alone when he comes home. My husband has PTSD. I’m so happy for all the others out there who can have this.

    • Heather

      Rachel – I’m so sorry; that must be really hard. It seems to me, though, that the point isn’t so much about greeting him with a hug and a kiss at the door as it is about demonstrating (to him and to kids) that he’s extremely important. Is there another way that you could demonstrate that to him without physical affection? Maybe with words, or providing a quiet place for him to relax for a few minutes? My mother has chronic pain and it was just too hard for her to get up and give Dad a hug and a kiss, but she made sure that we had the house clean for him when he came home so that he wasn’t greeted with utter chaos when he walked through the door. It taught us that she put Dad way up high on her priority list. You’d know best what works well for your situation, but I bet if you get creative and talk to him about what communicates love and respect to him, you can find something that fits!

  • Heather

    Thanks for this encouragement! This isn’t something that I’m very good about doing (especially if I’m in the middle of cooking), but I’m working on it. I’m also working on getting into something just a little more put together when he comes in.

  • Regina

    I agree! Loving on daddy is #1 priority when he gets in from work. My hubby works off alot so when he comes in everyone knows momma is happy if daddy’s happy & daddy is happy when momma meets him at the door or truck…which ever comes 1st. It shows them what true love is.

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