It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up – painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing, and fighting shoulder to shoulder. Friends look in the same direction.- C.S. Lewis
Today I’d like to go back to the place where it began for each one of us. The days before “we” when it was just “you and he.” Back to the foundation of friendship where a seed of romance was planted and watered until it took root.
Remember those days?
What was it like to be new-found friends? How was life different?
Michael and I were friends for several months before we dated. Not your regular run of the mill friendship, where we met for coffee every other week–no, like most young couples, we were inseparable buddies. We spent hours on end talking on the phone about the music we enjoyed, the movies that made us cry, friends from the past… and more than anything else–we laughed.
We went for picnics, attended church, and spent time at the park. Taking long walks I’d feel the brush of his hand against mine wondering when and if they’d ever connect.
Like any new and exciting friendship I was sincerely interested in knowing what he was about, so I asked questions and listened intently to every word that he spoke and every story he told. There was no doubt in my mind that this man was my very best friend. We made every effort to spend time together.
Fast forward about 15 years… Michael and I were struggling with the day to day details of starting a new business. We were dealing with the loss of five babies to miscarriage, and had started raising a family. Michael was working long hours and I was busy at home taking care of the babies.
Unfortunately, like many couples who are busy being Mom and Dad, our friendship was swept to the side for a time. Thankfully we’ve made an effort to pull friendship back to the forefront of our relationship.
If you’re wondering what that looks like, it’s a matter of carving out time to spend in each other’s company, and enjoying the time that you have.
Alone time? That’s good, but not always practical when you have a house full of kids. Spending time with your husband might be putting a puzzle together on the kitchen table, watching a Lord of the Rings Marathon (which I recently did), or enjoying a picnic with your kids at the park.
As much as I want to suggest “date nights” to you, I’m going to veer in a slightly different direction today by sharing two romantic little nuggets with you:
My parents were married for 60 years, and I don’t ever remember them going out on a “date.” It just wasn’t their thing. They had a big family and they were careful about the way that they spent their money.
Then this afternoon I had lunch with a couple that’s been happily married for over 30 years. Do you want to know how they spend their evenings together? He reads classic novels to her while she works in the kitchen.
I asked, “How many has he read to you? She said, “Hmm… let me think… how long have we been married?” (My heart just about melted when I heard that one!)
Date nights don’t get much better than that, do they? The bottom line is that friends don’t only enjoy each others company, they make an effort to do so.
“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.” ~ Proverbs 5:18
This is an excerpt from The Ultimate Marriage Vow: 21 Days of a Life-Long Commitment.
You are loved by an almighty God,
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