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One of the Best Ways to Say, “You Matter to Me.”

One of the best ways to say, you matter to me

Mom, can you come with me?” she asked.

It wasn’t easy saying yes, in fact I desperately wanted to say no. All I needed was to be left alone for a while so I could get things done, so I could reach my deadlines, so I could have a sense of peace… But there she was, standing in front of me pleading. “C’mon,” she said, “I don’t like going there alone.”

Technically she wouldn’t be “alone.” There were two cats in the house. All she had to do was cross the street, change the litter box, and pour a little food into their bowls. How difficult could that be?

Pretty simple really, but my daughter’s a lot like me when it comes to going anywhere solo.

She needs a sidekick to remind her she’s not alone in this world.

And some days I need a kick in the side to remind me that family is not an interruption to my otherwise busy life—they are my life.

I remember when I landed my first job. $2.70 an hour gave me just enough spending money to keep up with my friends. It was all about me. I couldn’t spend it fast enough. Clothing, magazines, makeup, pizza… I was a well-stocked sixteen-year-old without a care in the world. Shoes I had, worries—not so much.

With a roof over my head and a well-stocked fridge, I didn’t see the need to contribute. Thankfully, somewhere along the line, maturity and responsibility finally kicked in.

I came to realize that investments are an important part of our lives. Not just the way that we invest our money, but most importantly how we invest our time.

The gift of time is one of the greatest gifts that you can offer your family.

Earlier today I asked my kids, “Do any of you remember what you got for your birthdays last year?”

After some hemming and hawing, I came to the conclusion that, for the most part the gifts were forgotten.

Ask any of them what we did last summer, and they remember the countless moments that we spent together as a family including those things as simple as our late night drives.

Those are the moments that count in this life.

Time spent together is one of the best ways to say, “You matter to me.” It means that we’re willing to put our passion aside for the good of another.

Growing up there was basically one major distraction in our house—the television. Although we watched TV together, many people were concerned that this box was separating the family unit. People were glued to their TV sets and little time was spent
communicating with each other.

Fast forward 30 years and we see a different picture. Whether we’re in the car, on the beach, or at the park, we’re surrounded by technology that’s vying for our attention.

But here’s the thing. It’s not really about technology. That’s merely a sign of our time. What we’re really talking about here are priorities, and the importance of setting them well.

Sometimes priorities are like a warm blanket on a cool night. Like when you set aside a date night with your husband. Other times, it’s more like walking on a bed of nails. Those are the ones that call us to exercise virtue and to walk in compassionate love.

When all you want to do is grab an hour of sleep and you’re up for the fourth night straight with a colicky infant—that’s a gift unlike any other you could possibly give.

So when you’re thinking about gifts this Christmas, and what you can give to your family, don’t overlook the precious value of time.

 If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. – Abigail Van Buren

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

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7 Comments

  • Angeline Mercer

    when I started reading this it reminded me of what I do for my children and my husband. I write little notes to my children in their assignment books to encourage them throughout their days. this year I have gave them their own little box witcomh a special note that I write for them everyday. I even do this for my husband. my husband and my children said that it makes them feel good to know that they are loved even if its just a little small note that is for encouragement or just saying I love you. Angeline Mercer

  • Belinda

    “And some days I need a kick in the side to remind me that family is not an interruption to my otherwise busy life—they are my life.”
    Oh my goodness … I need to print out this quote, enlarge it and stick it up on my tab, on my books, on my stove, and on everything else that I sometimes make more important than the actual work Christ has called me to do – be a wife and mom to my family!!
    Thank you for this “kick in the side” – I really needed it!

  • Allison

    Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts on this!! I am a wife and the mother of 2 beautiful children, an 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. And I am also disabled. Now, don’t think the worst…I am able to walk and talk, and that is a miracle. I had a very bad spinal cord injury from a car accident 3 and a half years ago, which required a complex and very complicated surgery. You know, the kind where you have no choice but to have the surgery and you write your husband and children a long letter the night before….just in case. Praise God I came through! I spent 9 excruciating days screaming and crying out in pain afterwards. I had to learn how to walk again, which is not easy, I promise! So now you get how serious it was, right? Well, I was a first grade teacher and reading specialist for over 10 years until I was injured. Teaching was my passion. But staying at home with my kids was NEVER an option for me. I did not think I could handle it. I didn’t even enjoy the summer with my kids home all day every day and very little social interaction with other adults all day. I needed the challenges and joy of watching a child who has struggled so hard learn to read a whole book for the first time. But after my injury, no paycheck meant no day care for my then 9 month old baby girl. And that was a huge problem! I couldn’t even move after my surgery for what seemed like months. So I couldn’t care for her! Praise the Lord for my little sister who had no children yet! She had recently started working for our aunts’ business in their “home” office (a remodeled guest house on their property) where she could take care of me and my baby with my aunts and Granny to help. It was a good setup for a while. But after a year, my sister needed a break. So my dad helped me out since he had just recently retired. God came through again! And another year went by before my dad had to get a job to help with my mom’s pay cut. So I was on my own with an almost 3 year old. God has truly blessed me and given me a desire to spend time with my daughter, but I am also still disabled. So I have to take strong prescription medications that makes me sleep a lot. And when she wants me to help her get a movie on the TV, get a game out of the closet, or get a cup of milk, I tend to put her off. I know, it is so horrible!

  • Lisa

    My oldest daughter, 25 has twin daughters 6 yrs old. She is in her 2nd quarter of nursing school and working full time. My heart aches for her and my granddaughters. Thankfully, we live a block apart and I am blessed to have a schedule that enables me to take care of my Twinkies. My daughter was saying how much she missed the girls and how much time she would lose with them by the time she graduates. Her schedule this qtr only gives her every other weekend and an hour before bedtime 1 evening/week. I believe God gave me words of advise and encouragement tonight. I was able to suggest scheduling an hour this weekend that is all about the twins. Let them read to her, show her their weeks worth of papers, or bring out the cotton candy maker. I explained that by giving them her undivided attention would keep her feelings of guilt at bay, lessen their good and bad attempts for her attention, and allow her then to do homework or housework effectively with less interruptions just by making them feel they are a priority. I can’t believe how your topic was perfect for me today.
    I am struggling through feelings of no self worth or value to my husband. I do not feel that I am his priority next to God of course. I explained to him that when I may be frustrated which always makes me cry, that griping at me “now whats wrong” makes me feel like a bother. When all I want is a hug to reassure me, it will be ok. I don’t need him to solve a problem nor is it his fault that I am upset. However, I have yet to get that hug. I have recently lost my grandmother. So I cry more often but I have been staying in a different room. So I don’t disturb my husband. This is just an example of feeling “less than”. It really tears a person down. This could be a good thing, as I am seeking God’s embrace. I am having an open dialogue with Him. When my heart is aching, I simply turn my face to God knowing he knows my pain. It’s so easy to let others tear us down rather than rejoicing in God’s love, knowing He will never turn away.
    Thank you for your post. And for letting me run on.

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