This One Thing We Do – The Secret to a Successful Marriage

When I look at the union between a man and his wife, I’m not surprised that God is involved. I’m in awe. His plan for marriage is a beautiful one, where two people grow together as one. “It’s not good that man should be alone,” He said, “I will make him a help meet.” (Genesis 2:18)

And so He did. Causing Adam to fall into a deep sleep, the Lord God took out a rib, and from that rib He created a woman. He could have formed us from the dust of the earth, in the same way He created Adam, but He didn’t. That moment we were created, one became two. And that moment when we said “I do,” two became one.

I don’t think I’ll fully comprehend God’s love for me  until I’m gazing into the eyes of the One whose nail scarred hands carry me from this life to the next. Why would He die for me when I have nothing to give in return?

I was lost in sin. And still He loved me, wooing me daily as a groom who stands at the altar patiently waiting and watching for His bride to arrive.

Notice the symbolism in all of this. Sin separated us from the one that we loved. But that moment that we chose to be united with Christ, two became one. Not one in the sense that we are God, but that we are in union with Him.

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. – John 17:21, KJV

The wound Adam had in his flesh was soon closed, but during those last hours on the cross we read about yet another wound that was open.

One of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water. – John 19:34, KJV

And so we read in scripture how men are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. (Ephesians 5:25)  And yes we are commanded to respect our husbands, but the way that I see it we should also be loving our husbands with the kind of sacrificial love that was demonstrated to us and echoed throughout scripture.

I got to thinking about marriage this week and how it mirrors our relationship with Christ in so many ways. And as I did, this verse kept coming back to me,

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14, KJV

I know that Paul is talking about our walk with the Lord here. But still I got excited reading this, because in so many ways this is what marriage is all about too.

We’re pressing on to the mark set before us. This covenant that’s been ordained by God–the vows that we took–are a lifetime commitment. If we hope to finish this marriage well we must keep looking ahead and reaching toward those things are are BEST for our marriage. Things that will grow our marriage, draw us closer together, and strengthen the bond between us.

And let’s also remember how important it is to forget those things that are behind us. If an issue is dealt with don’t start digging it up again. This is one of the most vital steps that we have taken in our marriage. Yes, we have a past, but we’re careful to leave that past behind us. Grace is refreshing. When the morning sun rises, there is no place for darkness. That’s how the power of grace works in our lives the moment we embrace it and choose to walk in forgiveness.

That’s what we do. Yes, that’s the one thing we do.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

Pick up a copy of my book, The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth. Get it on your Kindle for only $2.99!



  • Sheri

    Great post! I really needed to read the part about forgetting the things that are behind us. It is hard for me to let go of the past. This was a great reminder today with the struggle I have been going through recently! Thanks so much!

  • Dianne

    How do you leave the past behind when one spouse is choosing to walk in grace and forgiveness, and the other persists in unrepentant sin that deeply affects the marriage?

    • Heather @ My Overflowing Cup

      Not knowing the details of your situation, the best advice I can give is for the willing spouse to pray fervently that God would change their heart. I would have the willing spouse focus not on their duty to the unwilling spouse, but on being the person Christ wants them to be.The willing spouse should pray for God’s will to be done in the life of the unwilling spouse. I hope this helps. Ultimately, God desires for every marriage to share the love and beauty that He created it to have. Keep the faith! I will be praying for your situation. To God be the glory! Always.

  • Elissa P

    “Yes, we have a past, but we’re careful to leave that past behind us.” -this is so true. It’s why it’s call the past, it is gone and we should let it go and move on into the future. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not a sure thing, but today, today is the present–a gift from God, let us live in it.

    Peace to you.

  • mary nevens

    What a awesome post.I pray I can live up to this.I can do all things through christ who gives me strength.

  • Crystal Storms

    I had never thought about how Jesus was pierced in the side and Eve was taken from Adam’s side. It’s amazing how God uses marriage to show us how He loves us and we are His bride.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.