I was always so happy to see her.
Whenever my friend dropped by – I dropped everything. Smiled and gave her a hug. Suggested that she stay awhile and made her a cup of tea.
They were just little things, I know. But it was my way of saying “I care about you” and “you are dear to me”. Simple, small acts of kindness offered in friendship.
My husband watched it all from the other room. I think I’d forgotten he was even home that day. Observing it all from his favorite chair.
Then I noticed a rather melancholy look in his eyes. Sort of sad with a bit of regret. And so later I asked him about it.
“What? What were you thinking about while Susan was here?”
He shrugged, but I wasn’t about to let him off that easily. I had to know.
Please tell me. Even if hurts.
He started out slowly, “I couldn’t help wishing. And wondering.”
Yes….I urged impatiently.
“Well, why you wouldn’t smile like that at me. You know, drop everything and give me a big hug when I walked through the door. Offer to make a pot of coffee. Things like that…things like you did for her.”
He was right.
And ouch! it did hurt.
My husband – that man I love – was only looking for a little kindness. Small gestures of thoughtfulness. From me. His wife.
You might say it was a turning point for us. Before that I considered kindness as something you “felt” toward someone – more like a sentimental impulse. I didn’t understand that it was something you could simply choose.
And I certainly didn’t understand that this was something my husband needed from me.
A Kind Wife Who…
Smiles warmly. She lights up when she sees her man. He’s not old news or simply that familiar face. He’s the guy who lights up her world.
Looks up lovingly. When he walks in the room Sure, she’s busy, but always has a moment for him. She’s thrilled that he’s near and has that special sparkle in her eyes that she saves for him alone.
Replies graciously. She doesn’t snap or snarl. She saves her sweet tone for him. He’s a valued friend so she’s mindful to communicate love and appreciation for him.
Offers thoughtfully. She looks for those little ways to bless him. She knows what he likes and those small details that show him the place he has in her heart.
And on her tongue is the law of kindness. Prov. 31:26
Admittedly, this took some effort on my part. I’m sorry to say it didn’t flow naturally from me, but at least it came more easily as time went on.
And now it’s just become my way of saying “I care about you” and “you are dear to me”. Simple, small acts of kindness offered to a friend.
Who also happens to be my husband.
That man I love.
*This post is an excerpt from The 7 Habits of a Highly-Fulfilling Marriage, currently offered FREE to subscribers to Club31Women.