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This One Thing Saved Our Marriage

This One Thing Saved Our Marriage

It was Thursday night. 8:30 pm. School was starting up in just a couple of days and I was swamped with last minute to-dos. Graham needed new shoes, Nathaniel needed some jeans, and they all needed school supplies. Not just any school supplies, specific ones. You know–lined note books, 80 pages, not 40, not coil bound, with flexible covers. Fine-tip Sharpies, wide-tip Sharpies, washable markers, page protectors, and the list went on…

Just as I was cashing out, my cell phone rang. “Are you almost home?” Michael asked. “Nathaniel needs stitches.”

“I’ll be right there.” I said.

As I hustled to the car, I got to thinking… How bad could it be if they are waiting for me to get home? And why are they waiting for me anyway? Couldn’t my husband just as easily take him to the hospital for stitches? Why is it my job when he has two parents?

All the way home, more questions arose. But the truth is that these questions of mine were objections more than anything else.

I knew exactly why Michael wasn’t taking him to the hospital, he had to get up early in the morning and I was able to sleep in. Sitting around an emergency room can take hours on end unless you’ve coughed up a vital organ or two. Even then you might wait a few hours.

Nevertheless, I wanted to hold onto some anger, at least for a while.

Then just as me, myself, and I were settling in for the ultimate pity party, one thought came to mind, “Love doesn’t get angry when others do it wrong.”

I’ve done it wrong, Michael’s done it wrong. Over and over we’ve both done it wrong. Which is why grace is a necessary element in our marriage. In chapter one of my new book I talk about the intimate struggle that our marriage has gone through and how the power of grace pulled us through.

This message of grace has become a resounding theme in our marriage. We hold dear to it, and we practice it daily. Not perfectly, which is why we need gentle reminders time and again that marriage isn’t about us. It’s about bringing glory to God in the way that we live and the way that we love.

Loving someone unconditionally is a light in the darkness that brings glory to God.

There’s a reason we call grace amazing, and that’s because it reflects the character of God unlike anything else.

Pride is deceitful. It gives us a false sense of strength, when the truth is that strength lies in the ability to give more than we get and to forgive before we’re forgiven.

It’s never easy to choose the right path. Love calls us to walk the roads less travelled–the ones that are paved with compassion and grace.

If that road doesn’t sound familiar, maybe this will remind you…

Saying sorry when you’ve had an argument.
Holding your tongue when you’re angry.
Being patient when you’re frustrated.
Listening when you don’t like what he has to say.
Being kind when he’s grumpy.
Letting it go when he’s wrong.

and finally… choosing “we” over “me.”

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht

P.S. Nathaniel had nothing that a few bandaids couldn’t handle. A little TLC and he was on the go. Praise God for TLC. 🙂


Before you can extend grace to others, you should start with the preparation of a pure and tender heart. Pray asking God for wisdom and guidance in this area.

Don’t miss my team members’ posts on embracing grace in marriage. You can find them here:

Jennifer Smith at UnveiledWife.com
Sheila Gregoire at ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com
Ashleigh Slater at AshleighSlater.com
Lisa Jacobson at Club31Women.com
Courtney Joseph at Women Living Well

Embrace Your Marriage Series

Also, be sure to come back here the next three Mondays for my other posts in the “Embrace Your Marriage: A Virtual Marriage Retreat” series. I’ll be talking about:

September 8: Embracing Change
September 15: Embracing Your Differences
September 22: Embracing Oneness
September 29: Embracing Your Friendship