31 Days of Prayer for Marriage,  Uncategorized

Prayer to Be an Encourager (Marriage Challenge – 31 Days of Prayer)

Day 10 - 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages

Looking for a husband’s version of this prayer? Click here 

I went hunting for that familiar verse on the topic of nagging, you know the one, right? Well to my surprise there wasn’t one verse to be found.

There were five.

Can you believe it? I knew there were two–maybe three, but I was a little surprised when I realized that there were five of them found in the book of Proverbs. (Proverbs 19:13, 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15).

I’ve often wondered why this is directed to wives. Why not the guys? Don’t they start arguments too?

Following a hunch, I discovered an interesting statistic…

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36 Comments

  • Marlo

    I am praying for restoration and reconciliation of my marriage. I am asking God to show me how to use my words to encourage my husband and not to allow this trial to destroy what God has put together.

  • Victoria

    Oh my! This is so true. I talk way too much. I need to say fewer words, more intentionally. I will be writing out this prayer, and the verses not just for today but for a regular revisit. Thank you x

  • TS

    Wow! What a powerful thought. I love when you wrote, “You are the book he is reading.” As an avid reader, that stroke a chord in me. I’ve read books that I thought were completely unredeemable and a waste of my time. Then I have read books that are my absolute favorite and I revisit them often. Am I speaking to my husband so that he wants to continue to read the next chapter? And if he thinks he has it all figured out, will I intrigue him enough to continue reading, or even revisit the chapters of my life? Powerful words. I thank you for sharing them.

  • Diane P

    Thank you for this today. I have learned that I have NO filter between my brain ( my thoughts…. Constant) an my mouth…! I think it I say it then hear it! I’m getting better about it but still find my self “thinking out loud” . God give me the discernment to be as James said – quick to listen and slow to speak! I want to lift up my husband, daughters, sons-in-laws and everyone I meet up and be a light for You Lord! Amen

  • Lindsey @ SimplyLindsey

    It is amazing how our words affect our husbands, and others! I also love Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

  • Katrina

    This prayer bought me to tears, because I think about the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt”. Well as you know, that saying is not true at all, because you feel words. Words run deep, so why wouldn’t you use words that bring joy, and to build up confidence. There is nothing like a wife that encourages her husband, especially when she needs encouragement herself. I think of it like this. The man is the head of the household, and the head needs to be well to lead the family, so its my mission to make sure that the head(my husband) stays encouraged, always.

    Katrina

  • Debbie A

    I love it…that one made me laugh out loud. Such profound, wise words. Thanks for the encouragement to edify with my tongue.

  • Dawn

    I really appreciate the analogy to a book! Yes I want to be a good book that you can’t put down! I have so far to go but you are an encouragement me. I not only have to watch my words but also my tone and facial expression. We have a sixteen year old son still at home and when he started ‘reading my face’ and reacting to my tone I was utterly shocked that he was picking up on things I wasn’t even aware of!
    So prayerfully, may my words be few, may the meditations of my heart be pleasing to The Lord and may my face show it!

  • Ruth

    Your ministry has blessed me and my marriage. I read all your emails each time u send and my prayer is to become even a better helpmeet to my husband. I do talk more than he does, we dont even have to argue that in my 15months of been married to him I am learning each day to be respectful encouraging and admirable in my speech. Some days are better than others but he sure does tell me when its a not so nice day. Thank you so much for showing the beauty of marriage in today’s world. We sure do it. God bless u.

  • Kelly

    Thank you for this reminder today. It seems that on some Friday evenings or sometime over the weekends, “The Enemy” works extra hard on my husband and I to create disharmony in our marriage.
    Quite often we find ourselves becoming agitated with one-another and not speaking with such forethought to kindness or patience. I do so appreciate this post, to bring graciousness and kindness to the words that I speak- so timely, right before the weekend too !

  • Sherry Graham

    I am willing to give it a try, more intent with less words. I am loving this challenge, anxious to see if it addresses some other issues in our marriage. If not I hope to be able have q and a in the end.

  • Melanie

    Some moments in this my first and new marriage my mouth overruns my brain. My dad told me to THINK before I opened my mouth. My mom too always told me it was better to avoid doing or saying something so saying I’m sorry really meant something when I said it. There are times when my patience is short and my words are not loving. Once the words are out of my mouth they are gone. I have to do better with my words and think before I say something so I find a better way to say it to my husband. Thank you again for today’s email & topic. I really enjoy and look forward to your help in our marriage.

  • Tricia

    Ugh- this is so true yet probably the area where I need the most work. As time goes on and I realize how differently my husband and I interpet God’s word into our marriage and family life, I truly feel the daily struggle to be positive and an encourager. What do you do when your spouse doesn’t embrace the same views? We weren’t church attending when we met, and found a new church home just two years ago. It aea to be just another point to check off my husband’s to do list and I strugggle wih his lack of humility, his self centered ways and overall justice seeking mentality. Prayers please!

  • Becca

    Today was a rough day after a hard week. I’ve been struggling physically and emotionally, and that has caused me to lean harder on my husband for help with our two young boys. I’ve never been one to speak easily about how I feel, I write better than I talk. But tonight I felt prompted to verbally thank him for everything he’s done this week and try to express how much I value and appreciate all he does. It blessed him because he also knows how I struggle verbalizing my thoughts.

  • Erica

    This really struck a cord with me because I talk way to much. I am praying for my marriage as my husband go through this separation. I am praying that I talk less and listen more.

  • AT

    Wow! Comparing us to a book is eye opening! I so want to be able to encourage my husband more, but I can’t seem to get there. I know we are to do these things unconditionally, but his constant criticism, nagging, and negativity make it very difficult. He also talks way more than I do, and sometimes I just want him to be quiet. I know God will give me peace in the midst of all this, but it remains outside of my grasp. I hope I can remember your words about a book. I truly desire to be a book my husband wants to read. I also know I could influence him in such positive way if I could overlook how I’m being treated. I continue to pray that God will help me show my husband love and respect. Thank you for this devotion. It’s very inspiring.

  • Heather

    I needed that so much. Thank you!! Some of my medications make me very wired at times and I get on my own Nerves so bad. And I know it makes my husband crazy at times. I dont want to be this way, that’s for sure I hate it….but have no choose but to take these meds. My husband and I were invited to a cookout with another couple we are getting to know thru new membership in church and I have been praying all day…. Asking for Gods Help to close my mouth and LISTEN… talk less. It is by far some thing At the top of the list of things I want to change about myself…. Less of ME… MORE OF OTHERS AROUND ME!! Love your blog and book. Making a huge difference in my life and marriage!! Thank you and God bless you!!

  • Traci Payne

    I am a talker. My husband barely says a word. it used to drive him crazy, now he just sits back and lets me go. My kids love it. They tell me that I talk to my friends alot and that gives them more time to play. I do need to stop and think before I speak though. I don’t know how many times, I have opened my mouth just to insert my foot:/

  • Heather @ My Overflowing Cup

    The power of encouragement is far greater than we can imagine – until we see it happen in our own lives. Many times, it takes one person stepping out in faith, but the effort doesn’t go unrewarded. This is such an important part of a happy marriage. Thanks, again, Darlene!

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