31 Days of Prayer for Marriage,  Uncategorized

Prayer for a Good Attitude (Marriage Challenge – 31 Days of Prayer)

Day 9 - 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages

Looking for a husband’s version of this prayer? Click here

A young woman was troubled. After five years, her marriage wasn’t going quite the way that she hoped it would. She was a busy mom of two little ones, they were struggling financially, laundry was backed up, the dishwasher was broken, and her husband was often overtired after long days of work. It had been a while since she had “mom and dad” time and even longer since she had any time for herself.

She was discouraged.

This wasn’t what she saw growing up. For the most part her parents seemed really happy so why wasn’t she?

Sitting across from her mother one afternoon, she opened up about her problems. “Mom,” she said, “how do you and Dad do it? How have you managed to raise four kids together and stay happy all of these years?”

Pouring her daughter a cup of tea, her mom smiled at her, hung up her apron and sat down for a chat. “One thing I can tell you for sure,” she said, “when I finally leave this earth I’ll be able to say that I had a reason to smile each and every day of my marriage.”

“But how do you know that for sure,” she asked. “What if he isn’t the same man tomorrow? And what if he disappoints you?”

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64 Comments

  • Lindsey @ SimplyLindsey

    LOVE this post! It’s so important not to look to your husband to fill the role that only Christ can fulfill. Also, the power of choosing joy and a positive attitude is incredible! I’ve noticed in my marriage that our attitudes rub off on each other for better or for worse. Choosing joy each day when my husband arrives home (no matter how my day has gone) certainly brightens his day if he’s had a rough day!

  • Lisa Maria

    Oh Darlene…thank you for this oh-so timely reminder! I come from a rather uptight family background and I tend to brood alot. I needed this reminder that my attitude in my home affects everyone..and it so absolutely does! My husband told me recently that everything in our home revolves around me..if I’m not exuding peace and a joyful disposition then everyone else is in the dumps too.

    The prayer is so beautiful too…thank you for upholding us all in prayer. God bless you!

    • Darlene Schacht

      Thank you for sharing Lisa Maria. I come from the opposite. I had a jolly little dad that didn’t have a bad day in his life. It was kind of cool to experience life with him.

  • Dawn

    Darllene,

    I am so thankful for this challenge. I was diagnosed a few months ago with severe depression and have been working really hard to get through that. I also am a Christian who married a non believer. Marriage is complicated enough without adding those two components to it. I feel God put your website and book in my path for this very reason. The more I read and participate the more I am able to focus on something other than my depression which is leading to different choices.
    Thank you

    • Darlene Schacht

      I pray that God will bring healing and help to you Dawn. I read a quote last night that said, There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still. – Corrie Ten Boom. She’s an antidepressant kind of chick. I love her.

  • Rhiannon

    This was a great blog! Such a good way to start my day! God has been teaching me or helping me to understand, that joy is a choice and it should not rest in my circumstances or in another person. Nehemiah 8:10 talks about the joy of The Lord being our strength and I fully believe that joy is the deep joy from inside found only in Christ. Like the Mom in the story was talking about “God holds the key to our joy.” I’m so encouraged by this post! Thank you Darlene! God bless

    • Darlene Schacht

      Beautiful scripture, I’ll post it here: Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength. – Nehemiah 8:10

  • Leslie

    I am so incredibly thankful for this 31 days of prayer for my marriage. Thank you for such awesome insight and biblical truth. I love the honesty that you put in your messages every day. Yesterday my husband was very grouchy…lots going on at his job. On my way home from work I was praying and asking God to give me a gentle spirit last night. A spirit that would welcome the grouchy and ill. After sitting down a little while and talking, rubbing and holding his hand things seemed to settle down for him. I could see the tension easy off of his face. The rest of our night was very enjoyable. Thank you Jesus for this ministry and for the answered prayers yesterday and always.

  • Marlene

    What has helped me in this area is looking for things to be thankful for each day. I find myself thanking God for so many things throughout the day. Focusing on God and not my circumstances. Taking my complaints to Him and asking God to help me respond in a way that pleases Him. Reading Proverbs each day has helped me to think of verses that may apply to the situation that I may be experiencing. Learning to praise God even when times are tough. I noticed how David would complain to God in the book of Psalm, remember what He has done in the past, and then praise Him. I also do this when I feel depressed or overwhelmed. These things have changed my life.

  • Charlene from KY

    One thing I’m thankful for: Today I am very thankful to be employed. Tomorrow is in God’s Hands.

  • Peggy

    Happy, happy blessed day Darlene (and sisters in Christ praying for our marriages)! :0) Thanks Darlene!

    (this was good and I had to laugh – I don’t know if you did this on purpose but I clicked on the prayer for male version and it was the same image and prayer – yes, made me smile and shake my head, oh yeah)

    • Darlene Schacht

      That’s funny! But there was a small change. The second to last line says “wife.” I wish I would have thought of that little joke though. It’s quite hilarious. I left laundry in because men can do laundry too. It’s a beautiful way to serve a busy wife. And just the same way we can get gas or rake leaves.

  • Nicole

    Excellent! I have too many blessings that I’m thankful for to list. Sometimes I feel like I must be boring God when I thank Him for them all but I never want to take them for granted. If it wasn’t for the Lord there would probably be even fewer marriages that last. I know that’s true for me and it’s been 20 years now:) you are so right about putting Him first! God bless!

  • Desirae

    I need this prayer and story. Just a consistent reminder that God is my everyday joy gives me hope and encouragement. I need this as an everyday reminder. What an awesome God we have!!

  • Lindsey D.

    It is easy to let life get the best of us all some times. Between work, family, friends, commitments, and “you-time”, it’s hard to find the time and energy to balance it all. And between all the craziness of my family’s hectic schedule, I usually let the small things stress me out the most. The dirty laundry my husband left in the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry that is piling up because I haven’t had the time to get to it most of the week. I definitely get myself stressed out quite frequently, but I always give myself a reality check by taking a minute to think about all of the blessings surrounding me. I have a husband who works hard to provide for our family and to be the best Dad and a wonderful husband to me, a beautiful daughter who loves me unconditionally, amazingly supportive family and friends, and an Almighty God who loves me and is always looking out for me. You can’t ask for much more than that! So much to be thankful for.

  • LeAnne Vincent

    I am finding that right now a few people I am around that are struggling emotionally and are more negative have really made me feel this way. I have no re reason but after being around them all day it follows me home and thus the bad attitude and behavior especial with my hubby has been occurring. I definitely need to try smiling even when it’s hard to do so! Thanks for this one today!!
    LeAnne

  • Rosemary Vazquez

    I thank God today for another day. I choose to be joyous through it all, thank you Lord Jesus for never leaving us!

  • Stefanie

    Today, I am thankful for life. I’m thankful for my husband and children being alive and healthy! I’m thankful for those in my life who pray for me and with me and send encouragement my way. I’m thankful that even though we lost our home, God still provides a roof over our head each night! I’m thankful that I serve a God who supplies all my needs, whose grace is sufficient, and who is faithful! I’m thankful for my good times, and yes, even the current bad times we are facing. Sometimes trouble can be “good trouble” because God uses these times to draw me and my husband closer to Him, and closer to each other!! He is using these times to readjust our focus, and remind us to look to the hills from which comes our help! Through this trial he is molding me, teaching me, and growing me! Not just me, I’m seeing spiritual growth in my husband, and even my children!! Thank you Lord for my “good troubles”!!!! In EVERYTHING give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you! 1 Thessalonians 5:18

  • Taryn

    Today, I am so thankful for my husband and the God-filled marriage we have! My husband didn’t use to “play” his role of spiritual leader for me and our 3 children, but in the past few months he has blossomed into not only a spiritual leader for us, but he almost always takes his Bible with him to work and reads it on breaks/lunch!!! We’ve only been married a little over 2 years, and it’s been going just fine; but I can’t even describe how our marriage seemed to morph into something even more beautiful when I saw him putting more time in with God. When we both are willing to enter into our God-given roles of husband and wife, and INTENTIONALLY try EVERY DAY to live them out, God’s blessings just start pouring out. We’re going through a tough season of financial issues, but it hasn’t stained our marriage, and I not only praise God for that, but also pray to God that circumstances will never break apart our relationship. That we will both look to God when things get tough and not take our stressors out on each other. 🙂

  • Kimmie

    I am thankful for Jesus for loving me and seeing my worth. I am thankful for my family, my 2 daughters and my loving husband who were all answers to prayer. I am thankful for someone like Darlene, who invests her time in investing in others!

  • Amy Joy Mathis

    Thank you Lord for my husband Kris. You know all of the things that we have gone through together. Thank you for using even the really hard stuff to draw us closer together. You have blessed our marriage beyond what I have ever imagined possible. Thank you for our love and for showing me how to open my heart and be IN love again. Marriage is a beautiful gift from you and I want to show the world your love through the example of our marriage. Please help me to accomplish this for your glory!

  • Katrina

    yes, yes, yes…..WOW this is great, for I am now looking forward to being the leader of happiness in my household. I know that my job is the display happiness at the start of everyday. Giving a smile to my husband and children so that their day, starts on the right path daily. Thank you! What a blessing!

    Katrina

  • Niki

    Today I’m grateful that my husband and I have had more time together lately! I’m off work recovering from a surgery so it’s been a chance to unplug from the busy days of working full time. We’re also the proud parents of a college student, a high schooler and a middle schooler. My husband does whatever I need help with and we’ve just had more time together each day. I’m so grateful for that. We’re Christians so we can share in discussions about the Lord and pray together. While we have struggles in areas like finances, what we do have is such a gift and blessing and I am so thankful for him and our kids. Today’s attitude devotion was of great encouragement and realizing we’re making an investment on the future. Great word. Thanks and prayers for all participating in this!

    • Darlene Schacht

      You have much to be thankful for Niki. It’s cool how your kids are grown and you still say proud parents. That’s how I look at it too. Sounds like our kids are about the same age. And they’re always a blessing.

  • Valerie

    This is true, a right attitude is needed by me to set the tone of the home. When am miserable they all pick up on this and there was no laughter. So I changed and smiled more and they chatted more too

  • Sidi

    I love this post, I liked the part where the mother said to the daughter ” “He doesn’t hold the key to my joy–God does. As long as I’m married I’ll find a reason to smile. And if I have to dig deep for one, that’s what I’ll do.”. This speaks directly to my heart , exactly what I need to say to myself a million times. I am going to choose to be happy everyday! By the way your book is awesome, I bought it and I have no regrets.
    I am thankful for my home, my husband, my family, friends and for this challenge that I am taking. God bless you real good x

  • Chris Carroll

    There was a quote that I read awhile ago (probably on facebook) and it says “if there is dirty dishes in the sink (or dishwasher) then there is enough food to eat. If there is a pile of dirty clothes waiting to be laundered, then you have clothes to wear.” Yes dishes and laundry are never ending, sometimes being thankful is in the simplest of things. That reminds me, I better start tracking down the toques, mitts and my husband’s car snow brush before the snow flies… 🙂 Thank you Proverbs 31 Woman for keeping me on my toes. Anyway have a good Thanksgiving Weekend and hope someone else does your dishes for you!

  • Kelly

    I am thankful for each day, being filled with the Lord’s presence and having a newly “God-Filled” marriage. There is so much to be thankful for- a home, 2 vehicles that are running great, health that is holding up well. My husband is blessed with a secure job, that I may also strive to be a productive Proverbs 31 wife and take care of the household business – along with our two large English Bulldogs whom are our “at-home” children. It is also a blessing to have great relationships with most all of our grown children and their spouses. My daughter and 3 young grandchildren love the Lord and she is the spiritual leader in her family- we pray for my son-in-law to see the light of God that shines in my daughter and turn to the Lord, as well as the rest of our children and their spouses.

  • Leish_88

    I loved this article, it is just so true, in our home our moods and behaviors bounce off of each other, if he’s in a happy and bouncy mood, then I’m in a happy and bouncy mood, and vice versa.
    It really is hard to keep that happy mood going when there is so much on your plate. both my husband and I are studying, we’re just about to graduate after four long years. we also have two kids and its been really really hard getting though it all!
    But I am thankful for my husband and my kids and the friends we’ve made along the way. I’m glad we’re both doing what we’re passionate about. and I’m so thankful that God has gotten us through the worst days and is bringing us out on the other side together, standing tall.

  • Crystal D.

    Despite grieving over needing to work so many hours outside the home I am so thankful my job allows me time in the morning to make my family breakfast and I am able to leave in time to pick my children up from practices and run them to other events. I am thankful my husbands faith is growing each and every day. 4.5 years ago I was married to an unbeliever. Today I am married to a man who prays for me and reads the Bible more than anything else he reads. I am so incredibly thankful to have found such inspiring, encouraging Christian women who help me to strive to always be a loving mother, wife and friend. I am most thankful for a father in heaven who loves me like no other despite my flaws and shortcomings. Thank you Darlene for being so real and honest. When we share our struggles with others we bring others to Jesus. 🙂

  • Becca

    This was perfect for me today. At 38 weeks pregnant with two small boys running around, this last week has been a struggle to maintain a positive attitude when I’ve been uncomfortable and sleep deprived. Thank you for the encouragement.

  • Brenda L. Skene

    Yes, you’re so right. The right attitude is so important. And also, our husband and others are not responsible for our joy or happiness, but God is. Thank you for your book and your daily devotions.
    God bless you.

  • Ronda

    I love this message. I have been trying to change my attitude whenever I get down… I still have some down, grumpy moments but now they’re only for a few hours instead of days… I’m learning that if my husband does something that upset me to start off praying about it, give it a little while to mull over in my head & usually I realize that whatever hubby done wasn’t worth fretting over & before I realize it it dawns on me that God answered my quick little prayer to remove the frustration from my mind… then I can be happy remembering my husband is the same human that I married & he will continue to “mess up” at times but God is in control & He reminds me that I’m the same human that messes up at times to & He forgives me so the least I can do is forgive my husband… I’m loving watching my husband open up & us getting closer cause he’s not afraid that I’m going to jump down his throat every few minutes now… 🙂 thanks for the encouragement

  • Melanie

    Thanks for this wonderful reminder about attitude choices. It’s easy to forget and be a grump when things don’t go my way. Thank you for your book and these 31 days of prayer for our marriage. I really needed this and I enjoy your daily blogs! They really help me!

  • Robyn Cross

    Thankful that God had a plan for my husband and I before we even knew what that meant. I am thankful for my husband who loves me, is patient with me, protects me….he is not perfect but he lives The Lord and emulates the love of Christ to me and our boys everyday.

  • Nedra and Shon Porter

    We are most grateful that God has allowed us to share in this marriage journey together. It has truly been a journey for us. One in which the journey has been easy, manageable, and not so easy at times. What we have to remember is that Jesus told us that in this world we would have tribulation, but we are to continue joyful because He has overcome the world (that includes everything that we are facing today, even in our marriages). We are also thankful for our beautiful children and having the necessities that we need everyday. We must remember that there is always someone that is in a worse situation than we are in. We must continue to pray and be thankful and he will continue to supply what we need in every area.

  • Amanda Parker

    Thank you for posting this I needed it today and everyday. I have been frustrated and angry at times this past year. Its been a hard season for us. We lost all our stuff in the Oklahoma Moore tornados last year. It has been financially challenging for us! My husband is pursuing college at 40. With his GI bill. He has a few more years to go. plus works part time. I am at home with my 5 kids(10,8,7,5,and 3,3boys and 2 girls) all the time with little to no breaks. Keeping my hope/strength/and joy is challenging for me. My family lives far away and his family is not very welcoming(appears to be welcoming when Im there but never calls or asks how I’m doing and we only see them on holidays) or have any desire to help me out or watch my kids. So I trudge on! Praying for God to meet me daily and be the woman, wife, and mom God created me to be. I know I can always count on God, when people fail me. When life is tough I turn to God in good and bad and thank him! I may not feel thankful or happy at times, but God is my refuge no matter the circumstance his promises are true for my family and I. Did I also mention we are moving again. I know God has a plan form our lives, no matter the struggle. I try to find joy in the journey! Please pray for us as I embark on a new journey with my family. Not all of us embrace change well especially my kids having start new. So I pray and pray because that whats brings me peace. !