One thing I know about marriage is this: while the journey leads you through the most breathtaking experience of your life, the road is paved with many obstacles.
There are things in this world designed to tear us apart, and there always will be as long as Satan is roaming this earth. But those who face the obstacles together and handle each hurdle in faith are the ones that reap the benefits that obedience brings.
God doesn’t give up on you. Don’t give up on your marriage.
Sacrificial love shows us that it’s better to do right than it is to be right.
We stepped into our marriage with the commitment to love, honor and cherish each other until death. I was ready and willing to lay down my life for this man at the drop of a hat. But as the years went by and the hats started dropping I realized that agape love was more of a challenge than I ever dreamed it would be. When push came to shove, I found myself standing against enemy lines in a battle against the flesh, and I was losing the war.
The Bible reminds us that we all must stand guard lest we be tempted and fall.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: – 1 Peter 5:8, (KJV)
Satan is subtle, he’s wise, and he’s wicked. He seeks to destroy marriage because he knows that the marriage covenant is a reflection of Jesus Christ and the church.
If we want to stand strong in the faith, we have to start by planting our feet firmly in Christ. Get into the Word, get into prayer, and most importantly get into a right relationship with the Father.
When God is for us, nothing can stand against us. The victory is His. Hallelujah!
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. – Galatians 6:9
This article is an excerpt from Messy: Beautiful Love by Darlene Schacht. Used with permission from Nelson Books © 2014.
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You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife
This post may contain Amazon affiliate links. Please read my full disclosure.
Your book “Messy Beautiful Love” is awesome thank you. Considering a ladies book study at church when I finish – is there a study guide available? Be encouraged sis, God is using you!!
Yes, there is. Email me at unlockmyfreebies@ gmail.com and I’ll also send you printable prayer cards.
You said it so well Darlene…agape love is HARD! It’s funny how most of it is over the little things.Every.single.day. I have to remind myself to give grace. I mean, how important is it that he ALWAYS leaves his clothes on top of the clothes hamper and not in it? Yet, I struggle!
I made a mantra for myself a few years ago when my marriage was in distress. I realised that it was more important to have this man in my life than to have to pick up after him, or forgive his attitude etc. etc. “Love is what’s important, not the issues” I told myself and I continue to tell myself. Persevering through the small stuff, the big stuff and the in between is what keeps us strong. Agape love is all about, loving, giving grace and forgiveness. May God help us all to persevere in fighting for our marriages…against all odds.
Amen.
Recognizing, and confronting the enemy is a first step for me in our marriage. Sometimes it’s hard, but speaking against any adversaries in the name of Jesus, will let the enemy know that he has no place in your marriage. Though we may not always agree, it is very important to me as a wife, to speak the positive towards conquering, any challenges in my household, and I’m speaking from experience. Thank you, for you are reminding me everyday, why God should, and always be the head of our marriage.
Katrina
Amen! Love that Katrina!
I started this study last night and have quickly caught up, eager to read more of what is already working on my heart. I’m so excited for my husband to come home from work today! …. What’s on the menu for tonight? His favorite meal. That might not sound like a big thing because I’m sure most women do that already, but because of several different circumstances A couple of years ago I lost my desire to cook. I look in the fridge and I’m baffled at it’s content. Nothing sounds good so I’m at a loss as to what to put together for dinner. I literally don’t have a clue. It’s not just that I don’t want to cook, but that the contents look like so much pieces of a puzzle that don’t make sense anymore. Food has lost it’s attraction. It’s a foreign thing…. But since we all know the old adage, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, it goes without saying that food IS important to my husband who, thus far has been patient and understanding with me. I’ve decided to pray about it and ask God to help me to prepare tasty meals for my him. I realize now that not doing so is selfishness, and therefore sin. I can’t wait to serve my wonderful husband his meal tonight!
I love this Colleen. I’m sure he appreciated it big time!
I stand and fight for my marriage another day. I am still praying for her.
Awesome!
I just came across this today. GOD is an on time God. There has been a struggle in my marriage these last couple days and I am staying focused on the Lord’s promises. This is truly encouraging and a challenge that could not have come at a better time. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to help others.
I love His timing!! Glad you found us.
Thank you Darlene for another inspiring post – God’s is truly guiding you. My husband and I have had extreme struggles in the 7 years we have been married. The fact that we are still married is a miracle. Out of those 7 years, after the Lord called my husband 7 months ago, the Lord has truly blessed our marriage with Peace, Joy, caring, and I am learning to trust. Neither my husband nor I love one-another as we should. The damage my husband has from his life before we married caused him to be hardened towards love for anyone except for his grown children by the time we met and married, though this hadn’t come to light in the beginning. My husband is truly feeling love for the Lord, and it is such a wonderful miracle to behold ! I pray that he may be able to have a love for me as well. The damage during our 7 years has caused me to have walls that I built around my heart that is preventing me from being able to trust him and feel love for him also. I know that the Lord can and will take these thick walls down and guide my husband and I to be able to love one another as he designed in marriage. Sometimes having loving-kindness and compassion as I should towards my husband isn’t as forthcoming as it should be, though I know this is what the Lord desires of us and I am very grateful for this “31 Prayers For My Marriage”. I know that the Lord wants me to push through the feelings of resentment that I am harboring so he will be able to bless our marriage with the Love, compassion and caring that both my husband and I desire.
I pray that God would bring inner healing to both of you. Thanks for sharing Kelly!
I’m committed to praying! This has come just in time.
After 20 years of marriage, 6 children, 14 years of homeschooling (so far), and now grandchildren, this is the most encouraging tool that I have for my role as a Christian wife. Thank you so much 🙂
I like that. Thanks for the comment Misty.
I thought I saw something on your website about conversation starters? If so would you email me something or tell me where to find it. My husband and I have to travel about 4 hours to a Dr. app. next week and would like to have some things to talk about in the car. Thank you.
That was a printable that was offered for pre-orders of my book. The one who creates them is Alina from Good Old Days Farm:
http://www.goodolddaysfarm.com
Thank you Darlene! Wonderful word and prayer! (AMEN!)
Perseverance … hmmm powerful word and I guess that is one that has kept me going after more than 35 years and 40 yrs. praying for this man. Yet God tells us: stick with it … in Romans 5:3-5
“And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us”
Well, pressing through the tribulations so I’m at least on the right track … the problem has been that he isn’t but I believe God is and God’s plan is greater than both of us and what we can imagine and hope.
Since hope does not disappoint, this PERSEVERANCE is a key element! Thanks for your wisdom once again Darlene!
And trust me after these many years and 18 + living apart, you’d think I’d have given up long ago … yet here I am … praying and believing! And believe me, I have been ever so weary but the Holy Spirit knows exactly how to lite my fire once again and stir the ashes and even make new and renew, right? He really is an awesome God! My passion for both God and my marriage is as strong as ever, now I need God to get a hold of this man and if it be His will, light his fire, but if not I’ll be content, no, really elated, to know that Jesus is now his Savior and Lord, that will make it and all the years worth it, waiting and praying. I will not give up. Salvation is too wonderful a gift and ever so important. If God loves me and pursues me, how much more does He desire my spouse to know Him, too! God’s gotta love him more. I’ll keep holding on to hope, because only God knows the work that is being laid and done in this man’s heart. I’m so thankful and blessed to call Him my Precious Lord and Savior. (sorry I got carried away when it looked like I was done)…
Amen and Amen!
Funny but as I was finishing my above comment, I glanced over to your tweet and you had “”Friendship is the fuel that ignites the fire in the furnace of marriage.” and “True love never quits”… guess that answers mine. Bless you Darlene! God’s timing so perfect. His love even more perfect.
I love his timing! Now I’m going to read your other comment…
Tonight I was feeling very overwhelmed by grief, (just lost a dear friend to cancer tonight), bitterness, (towards our ever changing life due to military moves), anger, (aimed at husband for old hurts), and in general bruised and beat up by my little boys because they know how to pull on my heart strings. This message helped me to remain in Gods word and his promises and to not go to bed angry. When I softened my heart towards my husband and trusted him to love me and listen, he helped unload some of my burdens, in turn, God also worked on my husband tonight and my marriage as my husband led us both in prayer. Trusting and obeying not only my husband and God helped turn my night around. Perservering through my struggles with my marriage is all about Faith, Hope and Love,. And, by the grace of God he carries us forward.
Carah, that’s a beautiful ending to a very rough day. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I simply love your writings and that your honest, but always measure it against what Christ would do.
Since being diagnosed with cancer and unable to do most of what I am used to. I have finally realized what a treasure my marriage and my relationship with me husband is.
He is totally awesome and I love him more each passing day. I have grown to see things in him during this time that I never saw before. He has been more tender, more compassionate, more caring and more of everything I need. Spiritually he encourages me, prayers even more for me now than ever before. When I have pain sometimes during the night I just hear him whisper prayers of healing and declarations of healing.
I love him now more than we first began. We can even laugh about my bold head and my mood swings and he still finds me beautiful. Is that God kind of love or what, guys?
Maurita
Wow. WOW! Yes, absolutely God kind of love. I’m smiling Maurita. So sorry to hear that you have cancer, but I rejoice to see the passion that you have for your marriage and for the Lord. Love and hugs to you!
Thanks Darlene for such strong and wonderful words.
I would wish to encourage us that at times, God brings challenges in our lives as wives, because He knows we will be able to overcome. We go through them so that we can be of help to other wives when they undergo the same in future.
As painful as it is, let us look at the positive side of the trials we go through as wives. God is giving a good testimony about us to the devil the way He testified about Job (Job 1:8). We are His chosen vessel to prove Him right and prove the devil wrong when we come out unscathed by the trials but stronger than before the trials.
Joyce
I was not looking forward to October- each year my husband’s family farm has weekends for pumpkin picking and other activities- we hardly see each other during this month and I have in years past been bitter,angry, and resentful. This year I decided to take the 31 day challenge for the month, and GOd is changing me from the inside out! I am looking for new ways to serve my husband, be grateful, and pray over our marriage of almost 25 years. Thank you Darlene for your wisdom, example, and love to a broken woman, trying to be the light…thank you.
Luanne, you’re so welcome. I’m glad you are here.
I read chapter four yesterday… and cried through the whole thing. The thing is… I knew this once, but that hope, yeah, about a year ago, was there no more. Or at least I couldn’t find it. Thank you for this book, for writing from your heart, for sharing the words of Jesus, for chapter four!
Relearning! Growing again (slowly)!
Blessings!
Kelly
Oh, I’m glad you were blessed Kelly. Thank you.