A woman’s heart should be so hidden
in God that a man has to seek Him
just to find her.
~ Max Lucado
Darlene,
Firstly, I love your blog and that you stand up for Christ in a very strong way. You have been a shepherd of God’s word for me, and others, I know.
I am currently not married, but seriously dating a Godly man. I have struggled as to what my part in our relationship is as a non-married, but serious dater to him. I have a passion for serving him like a husband (cleaning, encouraging words, helping to care for his puppy, etc.) but don’t know where the line is.
On one hand I want to show him what kind of wife I would be. On the other hand, I don’t want him not to have any motivation to get married, if I already act like we are. I feel like the only Biblical advice out there for dating relationships is “don’t have sex before you’re married.” While that’s great advice, I’d love to know more about what each other’s Biblical roles are.
If you have any advice or a place to find this kind of guidance, please do send it my way. My future husband will owe you and other Christian bloggers big time because you have taught me God’s word surrounding my place as a wife.
Serious Dater
Serious Dater,
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I’ve taken a few days to think about your question and while I did, it prompted me to start a Bible Study on the book of Ruth.
I was particularly interested in Ruth because she is the only woman (other than the Proverbs 31 woman) that the Bible refers to as “virtuous.” The earliest use of the word referred to men of strength, and is now commonly defined as “moral character.” With that in mind we can assume she had strength of character.
Who can find a virtuous woman?
For her price is far above rubies.
~ Proverbs 31:10
Being genuine and living out ones faith, are the most attractive characteristics a single woman can have, providing that her character is noble. I think that too often we give up who we are to absorb ourselves in the other person, that we forget we have a life too.
While you love him, and anticipate marriage, it’s important to retain a sense of independence as well. Not being available 24/7 and devoting time to your life apart from him keeps that motivation alive.
In Ruth 2:11 we discover the noble character of this woman who won the heart of Boaz:
And Boaz answered and said unto her,
It hath fully been shewed me, all that
thou hast done unto thy mother in law
since the death of thine husband:
and how thou hast left thy father and
thy mother, and the land of thy nativity,
and art come unto a people which thou
knewest not heretofore.
It wasn’t what she was doing for Boaz that caught his eye; it was the loving kindness that she bestowed upon others.
It’s true that the Bible doesn’t direct too many scriptures toward single girls, but the books of Ruth and Esther depict the lives of two single women through whom we can learn much.
In the next four weeks I’ll be doing a study on the book of Ruth, exploring one chapter each Monday. I think that a deeper look into the character of Ruth may answer some of the questions you have. Hope to see you here this Monday as we explore the first chapter together.
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene
For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net
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