Dear Darlene,
I have wanted to leave you a comment many times, but have simply been too lazy to send you an e-mail. Today I decided it was high time to thank you. Your blog is such a powerful ministry, and I love the way you gently teach biblical principles about marriage and family to encourage us along the way.
I’ve been married for almost seven years and my hubby has been struggling with TMJ horribly since right before the birth of our daughter in March of this year. It has taken a big toll on our family, marriage, and on his quality of life. He acts depressed and feels hopeless because he doesn’t know what to do about the pain and frustration. We can chug along really well in spite of this, and we truly have a great Godly foundation between us, but we have grown distant without even realizing it and that is what we have been working on over the past couple of months.
I told my hubby that I didn’t get married to have a crummy marriage and a miserable life. I got married because God desires to make this an amazing union blessed touched by His hand. I want God’s best for us, but we are standing in the way of that by building walls. God is doing a great work in us–slowly, and we are just trying to be patient.
Last night we had a tough, but great talk about our situation, and this morning my hubby gave me a huge hug and told me how much I mean to him, which I haven’t gotten in a long time let me tell you! He has been working long hours on his job till nine o’clock every night, which leaves him no time to help or be with us as a family. That is a big reason why I have been feeling frustrated and even bitter at times. I’ve been working on getting my things done early so when he is off I can give him attention and talk with him.
In just a few days I’ve noticed him perk up and he has been lending a little hand when he can. He just changed the baby’s diaper without being asked and he did it with a smile on His face. What a treat when God allows us the honor of seeing the fruits of our service so promptly! Haha 🙂 God is amazing!
Then I read your blog and felt only that much more encouraged this morning to keep fighting the good fight.
I am not called to be a loving, Godly wife simply when it benefits me. No, quite the contrary, I am called to be that woman when times are hard; to hold us together and to keep us soft before the Lord. Thank you for the reminders and for the scripture to steady us. Onward we press!
Blessings friend,
Casey
Dear Casey,
I love your letter. It’s so encouraging to know that while I’m writing to please the Lord, I’m encouraging the hearts of readers like you.
I don’t doubt that “chugging along” describes the state of many marriages, including my own, when I’m not putting an effort into our relationship.
A good marriage takes work, just like being fit does. We can’t expect to wake up and be in great shape unless we’re feeding our body nutritious food, getting enough sleep and doing some form of exercise. In the same way, we can strengthen our marriage by nurturing our relationship and exercising patience.
Among other things, love is patient, gentle and long suffering. When we truly love our husbands the way that God designed us to love, we strengthen that bond.
Lay your burdens at the foot of His throne.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
~ Philippians 4:5-7
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene
For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net
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